Winter Pays For Summer
by StreetSerenade
Summary: Expectations. How they're met, how they're not, and how sometimes one needs to just let go of them.
1. Chapter 1

**Winter Pays For Summer**

Disclaimer: Don't own the show or the characters, yadda, yadda.

A/N: First off, big thanks to Teri, Ava and White Lily Blossom for the input into various parts of the story. It helped me work out the kinks(which there's still plenty of). Secondly, imaginary readers, I apologize for the length of this. I went through about three break-ups(with the same person) while writing this, so be gentle with me. I still think this story is all over the place and makes no sense whatsoever, but I'm just ready to dust my hands off and let it be. :o) And here we go...

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It had been ten years since the six of them had all stood in the middle of town saying their goodbyes that very first summer. And here they were once again, a little bit older, a little bit wiser, in the same town, on the same street, under the same lampposts in the tiny town square, ready to begin the procession of departures one more time. If sidewalks could talk.

They had gathered for a single weekend and despite the tantrums and awkwardness that had occured throughout, as they stood in the dusk on Sunday evening they all looked somewhat saddened to put an end to it all, but at the same time it was clear they were more than ready to go back to their own worlds. All of them had come to participate in a gathering for their own reasons, with their own expectations on the line. Within the past few days some had come to meet theirs, some had also come to exceed them, while others had since decided to let go of them entirely.

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**Friday, Three Days Earlier**

Hamilton hated hotel rooms. There was rarely an occasion where he needed to check into one, but when he did he never felt completely relaxed. In a way they reminded him of the anonymous Rawley dorms in that the majority of them were identical and overall unexpressive. He was disappointed to note that the door to the room he found himself within on this particular morning definitely did not face east. Of course it was pretty easy to overlook details like that when he had Jake sleeping on the other side of the bed, inches away.

They had spent the better half of the previous day on the road, but come evening fatigue convinced both of them to check into a small inn just outside of town. Now as he laid about, he concluded they were roughly an hour away from their destination: New Rawley. Thankfully they weren't due to meet up with a few townies from their past until later in the afternoon. In the meantime though he was keen to make the most of what little time they had left.

He turned onto his side and snuggled up behind her, yet when she moaned ''Mmm, Ryder'' he was quick to move away and sit up.

''Are you awake?'' he asked, eyes widened. ''Because that better have been a joke, and if it was it's not funny.''

She turned over in order to face him and give him a lazy smile. ''Why so easily offended? I was messing with your head..._dude_.''

He laughed with relief and decided to play along. ''I'm not sure if I believe you.''

''And anyway, why would I ever dream of Ryder? You're far prettier, you know that.''

The remark didn't sting him so much since she sat up and kissed him good morning in the next breath. He took the opportunity to plop himself back onto the mattress and pull her down with him, allowing her body to hover over his. His vantage point gave him a chance to study the young woman in front of him. The delicate features he'd become accustomed to through the past few years, how they always seemed to render him speechless despite his familiarity with each and every one of them. The small, feminine nose, the lips he often claimed with his own, even the goofy ears which she tried to hide with her hair once it had finally grown back out. He took a strand of it between his fingertips, contemplating the length just barely reaching her shoulders.

''Don't get any ideas, Fleming,'' she said from above. ''We still haven't taken a shower.''

''Is that an invitation? I mean, have you seen the statistics of how many people injure themselves stepping in and out of the tub each year? It's staggering. But I'm willing to be there - strictly for safety purposes - of course.''

''How selfless of you.''

''It's who I am,'' he said innocently.

She dipped her head to lay a single kiss on his bare shoulder before disentangling herself from his grasp and stepping off the bed. ''Tell you what, I'm going to shower. You try to pack up our stuff in the meantime though, okay? And seeing as how you're so adamant I promise that sometime this weekend me and you will find some...us time.''

He grinned, pleased with the arrangement.

''Because I have a sneaking suspicion I'll never get you out of bed if we start now,'' she added.

''Okay,'' he sighed wearily, feigning sadness and waving her away. ''Leave me if you must.''

She gathered a stack of clothing already placed on top of the dresser and made her way to the connecting bathroom, though not before taking his hand briefly as she passed him on the bed. A small gesture to cement her promise.

Once she was out of the room he crawled out of the bundle of sheets, rose off of the mattress and took to the task at hand: packing up their various belongings that they had left scattered throughout the room the night before. His camera on the nightstand, Jake's iPod on the dresser, a few discarded items of clothing lying on the floor. He tucked them all away securely in the single, large piece of luggage. They didn't normally travel on Jake's bike and they knew doing so would limit them to carrying one bag, but she was adamant that since they tended to walk or take the subway everywhere in the city, it would be fun to take her bike out.

He glanced at the bathroom door again when he heard the water turn on. He never got tired of that. Just _listening_ to her shower made him grin, and he had been doing a lot of that recently.

She had never been able to continue her schooling at Rawley and he wasn't sure what they carried on back then could even be considered a relationship since every few months the weight of the distance would become too much resulting in some kind of disagreement, some kind of clash, some kind of break from each other. The longest one occurred just before senior year and continued on for a few years and well into college.

She still wanted to be friends she had said and while a stronger person might have been able to sustain a friendship, Hamilton knew his weakness. He could never _not_ want her, a fact which he was certain he'd never be able to hide, which is why, after some hesitation, he let her go without a fight. It had been unbearable in the beginning, not being able to hear her voice on the other side of the telephone, having to remind himself that she wouldn't be visiting him the upcoming weekend.

And then one chilly November evening he found himself resorting to one of his old habits, climbing out of a second story windowsill to sit on a ledge. His then roommate had thought him crazy, but Hamilton paid him no mind. Sitting up there in the cold, looking out at the overcast sky of New Rawley, it gave him an entirely different feeling than it had when he was under the sun. It was then and there he had come to the conclusion that Jake was somewhere out in the world living and breathing without him and the ache he felt inside would only subside once he learned to live and breath without her. As he climbed back into his dorm room he set out to do just that; get on with his life.

During the time apart he got on with his studies, finished university, made several small but noticeable waves in the world of photography and even chit-chatted his way through a handful of dates. By his early twenties he found that life without Jake wasn't impossible. It was manageable, doable, completely livable, but also, somehow, void of something. He didn't dwell on the fact much, until three years ago when out of the blue he got a call from one Monica Pratt; his heart skipped a beat as thoughts of her daughter gave way.

The older woman had expressed her need for a photographer with a youthful edge to produce something unique for her forthcoming biography about herself and her stage career and he was more than willing to agree to a meeting. A few days later he had brought his portfolio to her apartment in the city where they discussed how and where she wanted to be photographed. She had been charming as ever and when all was said and done he had accepted the job offer, eager for the experience, anxious to be involved in such a high profile project.

But none of those feelings could compare to what rushed through him when Jake walked into the apartment with what looked like a newly purchased laptop in tow, announcing ''next time you have trouble signing into your email account how about not throwing your coffee at the screen, huh, Mom?''. She stopped short in recognition but quickly recovered as both he and Monica stood to greet her. Her mother thanked her for picking her up a replacement laptop with a peck on the cheek. Then fortunately for him Monica politely put a halt to the meeting in order to prepare for her dinner date for the evening. With that she glided out of the room and before he knew it he and Jake were left to exchange awkward pleasantries. The pleasantries led to coffee, and coffee to dinner and dinner to her doorstep.

''Do people still call you Jake?'' he had asked at the end of the evening as they arrived in front of her building.

''Not really,'' she admitted with a shrug, ''Bella and Will still do; I talk to them occasionally. Everyone else pretty much just uses Jacqueline. It wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that it sounds so, you know, WASPy.''

''You're telling me. I have to live with Hamilton Fleming for the rest of my life,'' he grumbled playfully.

''Tragic,'' she quipped.

He felt like falling over. He had forgotten how beautiful she was. How funny she was, how adorably awkward she was. When she leaned in and gave him a hug he was more than happy to accept it even though he knew that it meant the night was coming to an end.

''I'm sorry,'' she said quietly as her chin rested on his shoulder.

''Sorry for what?'' he had asked, slowly pulling away.

''For how it ended between us. It was ages ago, I know, but...I probably shouldn't have ran when I did, like I did.''

He bit his bottom lip, but still found himself asking, ''_Why did _you run?''

''To tell you the truth...I don't know,'' she began uncertainly, ''I mean, what seemed like a really good reason at seventeen doesn't seem like one at twenty-two. I'm not trying to make excuses or skirt around the question, it's just...anything I say now probably wouldn't cut it. I probably wouldn't make much sense.''

''Yeah, but since when have you ever made any kind of sense?''

''True,'' she said, amused. ''My point is, though, I'm sorry.''

''It was fun, though, right?'' he had asked, needing to at least know that it had been as much of a memorable experience for her as it had been for him. ''... cause as weird and crazy as it was, it was one of the most amazing things that's ever happened to me. Even though it ended, I still think that. And,'' he paused to look up at the many windows of her apartment building, ''I'm sure you probably have some guy waiting up there for you to walk in the door. That should hurt me, it does hurt me, but I hope you have that and if you don't I hope you find it. Because...you're something else, Jake.''

He watched the muscles around her mouth twitch until they formed a smile. ''Ditto,'' she replied then.

It was amazing to him, how one single trite little word could make him fall all over again. And while her doorstep didn't exactly lead to her bed that night, it had opened a door to something. Something that had eventually led him here, to some Carson hotel room as she showered nearby.

He dug further into the bag, reaching for the hidden compartment inside and pulling out a small black box. Careful to keep his back to the bathroom door he quietly re-examined the contents. The ring. The one he found himself continually studying for the last several weeks. A small, plain, simple band.

Hamilton smiled down at it before quickly securing it away into a pocket of the jeans which he had picked out for the day, figuring it was safer to carry it on himself for fear she'd come across it if it were left in the luggage. He then plopped back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling as he listened to her shower, grinning from ear to ear the entire time.

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''Okay, here's a good one. Angelina Jolie or Giselle Bunchen?'' asked Will from behind the wheel of Scout's vehicle.

''Um, Giselle, I guess,'' said Scout with little enthusiasm.

Together they traveled the outskirts of New Rawley as they took part in a very old game Will had decided to resurrect moments earlier. Scout wasn't in the mood for it, but then again, he doubted he'd be in the mood for much of the weekend. After all, it had been Will's idea to arrange the little reunion of sorts that was due to take place later that day.

After high school graduation they had attended the same university, after which they both ended up in Boston. Scout had entered the ad world quite easily, while Will took a different route, adamant that his place was in the literary world. He had always been the dreamer, yet after receiving a string of rejection letters from publishing agencies which expressed little or no interest in his work he had been left feeling uninspired.

When Will said he was considering a weekend away to clear his head, Scout chimed in with support. But then his friend went about planning a weekend in New Rawley and thought it fitting to gather a few friends, hoping their company, along with memories of New Rawley, would inspire him and spark a flicker of creativity. He had even sent print outs of his unpublished novel to each of them with notes attached, telling them of how he looked forward to seeing them and hearing their thoughts.

Will had apparently kept in contact through email with Jake and Hamilton on occasion and was pleased that it took very little effort to get the couple to rearrange their schedules in order to join the gathering. With Bella and Sean still residing in New Rawley, the odd one out had been Scout, who hadn't been as keen on the idea to revisit his youth.

He still wasn't keen on the idea.

''You want to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat?'' Will asked as he carefully switched gears at his side.

Scout responded by reclining his seat back and placing a stack of papers, Will's manuscript, over his chest. ''I appreciate what you're trying to do, Will, really. I get it; male-bonding. But I'm just ready to get this weekend over with.''

''Oh, come on.''

''Hey, if you recall I didn't want to come in the first place. The last thing I wanted was to be surrounded by Happy Couples for two, three days straight.''

''Oh, and you think I'm not a little bummed to show up with no one on my arm? But this trip isn't about that, it's about us catching up, having fun. I know every once and awhile a few of us see each other, but this time we're all going to be here.'' Will explained to his friend, then softened. ''You haven't seen Hamilton since high school graduation. Hell, you probably haven't even seen Jake since that one summer session-''

''It's not them I'm uneasy about seeing,'' sighed Scout.

And that's what it came down to. Sadly Scout thought that's what it would always come down to. Bella.

When the truth about their respective parentage finally came to light shortly after her family regained control over the garage Scout had assumed that they would finally make a go of it, that all of his intense longing hadn't been for nothing. Unfortunately, while he had been longing, she had been learning how to move on. For the remainder of his time at Rawley he secretly pined for her, attempting to be 'just a friend' all the while he was waiting in the wings in the hope that one day, somehow, he'd be presented with an opportunity to make more of it.

That day never came and it was during their last conversation that he realized it might never come. It had taken place the night of his high school graduation ceremony from Rawley in 2003. Hamilton had been in poor spirits before, during and after the event for some reason, Scout remembered. Will and Sean thought they'd cheer him up with a few celebratory six packs they had scored. Scout, though, didn't take part in their small gathering. Mostly because he always tried to avoid Sean, but also because he knew it'd allow him a few moments, a few hours alone with Bella.

When the guys went off to console Hamilton he had managed to sneak away from his parents to walk Bella back into town. They chit-chatted, talked of the future, of her plans to attend a local college, of his acceptance into an Ivy League university. He was just killing time until they arrived in front of her garage. And it was there where he had laid himself out to her one last time, and one last time she had to tearfully decline his affection. He left town with Will the next day, wounded.

He hadn't thought it possible to hurt anymore than he already did, but some years later when Will let it slip that Bella and Sean were engaged to be married, he discovered a whole new side of hurt. He was never more convinced that it had been love simply for the fact that he had never experienced anything as painful. After that he had asked Will to respectfully never speak of Bella or her life to him again. Will hesitantly obliged and had been doing so for the past several years.

But now Scout was readying himself to see her again and quite frankly he felt car sick.

''I know it's going to be a little strange to see Bella and Sean, but it's been awhile,'' Will resumed the conversation. ''I'm just saying it's time to move on.''

''You don't think I have?'' Scout asked. ''This time last year I was engaged, okay. I had this beautiful, bright girl ready and willing to walk down the aisle with me. That's moving on.''

''She was ready and willing, yes. You, on the other hand, were anything but. And it isn't exactly moving on when you never even get to the alter.''

Scout opened his mouth, ready to launch his defensive, but instead went silent, neither confirming nor denying Will's observation, only adding, ''My life _is_ content.''

''Life should be so much more than just content though. I think getting away from your life for a few days will be good for you. It'll give you some time to put things in perspective.'' Will then looked to the bundle of computer paper which Scout was using to shield his face from the sun. ''So how far along are you on my book?''

''Ummm.'' Scout made a long, drawn out thoughtful noise, trying to stall.

''Because you've been reading it for the last couple of hours. I'm not expecting a thesis, but what do you think about it so far?'' he asked, hopeful.

''I should probably finish reading it before I give you my take. You know, a fully formed opinion.''

Will nodded and kept his eyes on the road. Scout, though, brought his eyes back down to the pile of text in front of him and tried desperately not to fall asleep.

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Elsewhere Bella was peering under the hood of a truck when she heard the rumble of a motorcycle near her gas station. She smiled as she backed away from the vehicle and began wiping her hands on a nearby rag, trying to tidy herself up as best she could, dressed modestly in jeans and an oil-splattered tee. The bike came to a stop at the side of the station and she watched two people dismount and discard their helmets.

''Next time I say we flip a coin for the front seat of the bike,'' the taller figure suggested to his counterpart.

''Whatever you want, Princess,'' said the female companion.

''Jake, Hamilton.'' Bella waved to the couple who raised their heads in greeting as they made their way towards her.

She saw them once every few months when one or both of them would ride to New Rawley to get standard maintenance done on the bike. While Hamilton mostly used his trips into town to visit his parents, Jake tended to use hers as an excuse for a girl's weekend. The two women were different in more ways than they were alike, yet Bella felt most comfortable in her mechanic jumpsuit; Jake regarded her bike as if it was her firstborn child. Neither of the young women could be easily labeled or categorized, and it was that shared understanding that they both appreciated. She supposed that was why she and Jake kept in contact, even after the dark haired girl wasn't allowed to return to Rawley Academy.

While all parties had since gone on to form other friendships and bonds independent of the others, each of them made time for the friends of their past. The visits had, of course, become fewer and fewer throughout the years, especially when Jake and Hamilton began settling into their life together in New York, and as Bella herself took on the roles of wife and young mother.

Her relationship with Will had also changed due to distance. The day after his graduation from Rawley he was waving goodbye as he boarded a bus with Scout at his side. As he went about furthering his education outside of their hometown Will emailed, sent cards every holiday and birthday, yet every time Bella tried to put forth the same efforts towards Scout she never managed to get through. She couldn't very well hold it against him, though. She wanted to believe that their friendship could've survived their failed romantic entanglements, but she supposed that maybe, when all was said and done he was simply meant to be a long lost friend. One she was only meant to know briefly, for a season.

She was well aware that on occasion an outsider would look at her quiet existence and promptly deduce that there wasn't much to it, Bella never considered her life to be small or simple. In fact, she had always thought that quiet lives were often the most rewarding.

It was only months ago that Sean had reminded her so when she arrived home late one evening, having just finished a tow job all the way across town. After parking her truck and hopping out she approached the entrance of the station, yet paused when she saw her name glowing in the large, front window of the gas station. 'Bella's Garage' a large, illuminated sign read. She had to blink several times before she realized the image was real and not simply brought on by fatigue.

Sean had walked out then; all smiles as he explained that he had discussed it with her father and they both felt that it was time to retire Charlie's name and sign from the building in order to make way for a new generation to take the reigns and the credit. She had worked so fervently in her youth to keep the business afloat, and it was now, finally, being placed entirely in her hands. To others it may have been just a simple neon gas station sign, but to her it signified so much more. It was the life she wanted. It was fulfillment.

She could only hope that Scout was off somewhere, experiencing his own, but she quickly shook the various thoughts from her head as Hamilton and Jake finally arrived in front of her.

''What's up, townie?'' Hamilton asked.

''May I remind you, Hamilton, that not so long ago you were a townie by default,'' Bella said as she took turns hugging each of them before turning her gaze to the bike parked several yards away. ''Did you get some work on that done? I heard you drive up here, it sounds like-''

''Ah, Bel, you know Jake would never let another mechanic touch her bike,'' Hamilton reassured.

''Even though your prices have inflated dramatically the past year,'' said Jake. ''Whatever happened to the days where you gave stuff away for free?''

''They're gone,'' said Bella as she led them to the front of the station and motioned for them to sit on a bench protected from the sunlight under the carport. ''Once my dad started to slowly step back I saw just how much money it takes to run a business and the freebies dried up.'' She waved towards the pumps, the garage, the building she always called home, her passion. ''But my baby is doing pretty well now. We even got a couple of clerks on the payroll, but I already told you guys this over the phone last week. What about y'all?''

''Same ol', same ol'.'' Jake spoke up. ''I still got the gig with that internet security company.''

Hamilton cackled, ''You used to spend hours hacking for fun, now you make a living preventing little tween techies from doing the very same thing. Such a sell-out, baby.''

Jake turned to Bella, eager to defend herself. ''I'm not a sell-out. Just last month I hacked into MySpace and set every user profile song to Hamilton's favorite old Third Eye Blind tune.''

''What?!'' Bella's eyes widened, impressed.

''A little birthday gift for Ham,'' the dark haired girl explained.

''A very original, thoughtful gift.'' Hamilton conceded happily and glanced admiringly at Jake out of the corner of his eye before sneaking a quick kiss.

Bella couldn't help but be tickled. ''Ham, buddy, you're like a giant puppy when it comes to Jake.''

Jake then looked upwards and tilted her head in mock consideration. ''I did find him chewing on the furniture last week and he does piddle all over the living room if I don't take him out for his evening walk. Plus you don't even want to know what he tried to do to my leg this morning.''

''Ouch,'' Hamilton said loudly, mocking offense and lightly elbowing her in the side.

''Which reminds me,'' Bella announced, ''last week me, Sean and little Matty watched Lady and The Tramp, and it made us think of you guys.''

''Careful, Jake takes issue with being called Lady,'' remarked Hamilton.

''Who said she was Lady, dear?'' asked Bella. ''You're the pretty, pampered bright-eyed Lady and Jake's the tough, wise-cracking, no nonsense Tramp.''

''That may very well be,'' said Jake as she turned the tables on Bella. ''But every time I see you and Sean kiss it's like seeing a life-size version of Barbie and Ken being pressed up against each other by the hands of some giant six year old or something. It's unsettling.''

The three friends shared a laugh until their mirth eventually died down and Bella piped up with an anxious inquiry, ''So, um, have you guys heard if Scout was going to make it out this weekend? I mean I talked to Will and it was unclear so I was wondering...''

The couple shook their heads at her sadly and as if sensing her unease with the answer Hamilton cleared his throat and changed the subject. ''Ah, I forgot, we came bearing gifts.''

''Oh, yeah!'' Jake said loudly, looking quite eager to follow his lead. ''Where's the little one? We got him a something.''

''With Sean, he's out running errands,'' Bella replied as Hamilton pulled out a small, plush teddy bear that appeared to be wearing a mechanic's jumpsuit and presented it to her.

The subject of how one young Matthew Banks came into existence was rarely, if ever, discussed. The couple sitting across from her knew the details of the story, having witnessed the grief it had caused her a few years earlier. It had been an addition to the Banks' family no one had expected, and despite the circumstances that led to it Bella found herself embracing her role as mother in a way she could have never predicted. She was now, finally, coming into her own, taking over the station as Charlie eased into retirement, raising a family with Sean, bravely settling into adulthood.

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It was sometime later when Hamilton's mother, Kate, greeted her son at the front door of her home on the Rawley Academy campus. She had been expecting him and after a quick, but warm embrace she waved him into the house.

''Where's Jacqueline?'' she asked.

''She's in town catching up with Bella. They were doing those silly magazine quizzes when I left. 'What Does Your Hairstyle Say About You?' According to the two of them my hair says I'm needy and I smother those closest to me, but whatever. Do we have anything to eat?''

Kate laughed at her son's ability to turn any and every conversation towards the topic of food. She motioned for him to follow her through the foyer and towards the kitchen where she had been preparing a few sandwiches and packing them away into plastic containers.

''Shall I make you one?'' she offered. Hamilton flashed her his pearly whites in response and she began the task at hand.

''So what's all the food here for, and where's dad?'' he asked as he hopped onto the kitchen counter.

''I sent him under the house.''

''Wouldn't a divorce be easier?'' he asked playfully. ''Why is he under the house?''

''Well, summer session ended last week, and it was rather last minute but I finally convinced your father to, um, take a trip with me. A trip we've been needing for awhile now.''

''That sounds nice. What, are you guys going on a cruise or something?''

His eyes were wide, bright and innocent. Her expression, on the other hand, dimmed as she contemplated what to reveal, if she should even reveal anything. ''Actually,'' she began, ''it's a retreat for couples. Couples in therapy.''

Hamilton laughed as if it were a joke. ''What?'' he asked, finally pushing aside his awkward chuckles. ''What do you guys need therapy for? And this still doesn't explain why dad's under the house, by the way.''

''Well, with us being gone for a few days I figured it was the perfect time to get a little remodeling done in the master bath,'' she explained further. ''We're paying the Rawley groundskeeper to do the work for us. He said it'd be best to cut off the water flow to the house off before we leave and he starts tearing the bathroom apart so your father had to crawl under the house to turn the water main.''

He raised his eyebrows, expecting more. ''Okay, the mystery of Dad's adventure underneath the house is solved, but what's this about therapy? I knew you guys used to go to sessions when I was younger, but I thought you worked everything that you needed worked out.''

''Hamilton, it's never that simple,'' she said soothingly. ''Sometimes your father and I still need a little help sorting ourselves.''

''Sorting what out, though?'' he asked, still confused.

''Everyone has their issues. Every couple fights from time to time, and every couple works through them in their own way,'' she said reassuringly.

He stared at her, silent and cautious. He obviously didn't like what he was hearing, and it was clear he was worried for her and Stephen's well being, and that of their marriage.

''Calm down,'' she urged with a shake of her head, ''your father and I are just going to give ourselves a tune-up. It's not as if we're drawing up divorce papers.''

He allowed himself to breathe a little more easily. ''I hope that's never the case.''

''That's certainly not what's happening now, but...one never does know. Sweetie, you do know that not everyone gets to live happily ever after, right?''

''I guess I just have this notion that when you find the right person...things just work themselves out. It's like, me and Jake, it hasn't always been easy but things came together again eventually on their own. It shouldn't be hard.''

''You and Jake,'' Kate said loudly, directing the conversation onto another subject. One she was more interested in discussing. ''How are things?''

''We're great actually,'' he said, reluctant to move on.

Kate Fleming had been in utter shock when, long ago, it was brought to her attention that her son's ''best guy friend'' Jake was actually his girlfriend Jacqueline. Even more alarmed was she when she realized she had given Hamilton permission to room with Jake that summer of 2000. It had taken several exchanges between her and the object of her son's affection before they connected, and several more before Stephen Fleming, the Dean, had given his forgiveness. They had both slowly been able to see that despite the ridiculous charade Jacqueline 'Jake' Pratt was a smart, level headed young woman. She had, after all, wisely rebuffed Hamilton's attempts to move into her dorm that one summer.

But they had insisted that with her stunt there should come consequences, and they were quick to notify Monica Pratt, who responded to her daughter's elaborate cry for attention by committing herself to a Broadway production, and thus confining herself to New York in order to sort out their relationship. Although Jake had shown interest in attending Rawley Girls simply to be near Hamilton she had ultimately agreed with her mother's choice. She was pleased to have finally made her only parent take notice, and wasn't about to squander the opportunity to reconnect. While Kate herself voiced her support of the decision, Hamilton had made it clear he didn't care for the arrangement. The very arrangement that in turn lead to the two parting ways briefly, but it had all worked itself out, somehow, as Hamilton had said.

''I don't think she and I are ever going to need couple's counseling,'' Hamilton said, bringing her back to the conversation at hand.

''Let's hope not,'' she said and quickly produced a plump sandwich before her son's eyes and offered it to him on a small plate. Hamilton accepted it, taking a large bite, his cheeks bulging from the large portions of food he shoveled into his mouth. ''I do hope to see the day where a couple of Munchkins are-''

''Munchkins?''

''Grandchildren, Munchie.'' Kate clarified.

''Cute one, Mom.''

''Running around,'' she finished her previous thought.

''Yeah, well, don't hold your breath on that one. We can't even agree on what kind of dog to get. But there is something I've been wanting to tell you about...''

Hamilton gave her a reassuring smile as he set his sandwich down on the counter and dusted his hands off. ''I want to show you something, but you have to promise not to say anything to Jake and ruin it for me...'' he winked. She watched as her son dug into one of his pockets and pulled out the small, black box he had handled earlier that morning. ''Me and Jake,'' he said.

Kate took the box from his palm and slowly opened it to examine it's contents. She knew what it was, what it meant for her son and his partner and digested the news with a proud smile.

Hamilton beamed confidently. ''She and I haven't exactly talked about it seriously, but..._I think_ I know where we want to go with each other.''

--------------------

Scout had been sleeping in the passenger's seat for the past hour and Will, having been the one to do the majority of the driving, was growing tired of continuously readjusting his position behind the wheel so he was relieved to arrive at New Rawley's main street. The small, quaint shops that lined it were still alive and bustling quietly with patrons, some of which he waved to in recognition.

''We're here,'' he groaned as he parked Scout's car at the gas station. His sleeping friend made no response so he turned to holler out of his window. ''Yo, pump girl, I don't have all day!''

He hoped his imitation of Rich Snob was loud enough to wake his travel companion and convincing enough to get Bella storming over in a huff. Scout, though, continued to slumber, but after several moments Will finally saw movement in his driver's side rear view mirror. The form was too close to make out a face, but he was positive that the figure walking over towards the vehicle was definitely female.

''Bella, honestly, you're getting slower in your old age,'' he said sarcastically as he opened his door and stepped out only to be greeted by an amused Jake Pratt.

''Nice ride, Krudski,'' she said.

Will and Hamilton had managed to develop a friendship at Rawley after he had found out he was able to return for the Fall semester, and while he hadn't been close to Jake prior to that he maintained electronic correspondence with her after she failed to return. He hadn't seen them in a few years, though he exchanged emails with them a few times each month. He and Jake would passionately discuss, dissect and debate the books they referred each other to. Hamilton, meanwhile, would always attach his latest photos and fill him in on the success he was finding as a freelance photographer.

''Yeah, the car is Scout's,'' he said, delivering a hug. ''I didn't know you were here already. I didn't see your bike.''

''Hamilton has it. He's visiting his mother.'' She returned his embrace before stepping back slightly in order to get a better look at him, and then peering inside the car to spot a Scout napping. ''You told me in the last email he wasn't coming.''

''I talked him into it.''

She raised an eyebrow. ''Do you think that was wise? I mean, considering...'' she stopped talking and nodded to the sign in front of the building with Bella's name on it.

''I think Scout can handle it. Besides he really needed this, for reasons completely unrelated to Bella. Speaking of, where is she anyway?''

''Upstairs. I told her I'd stay down here and keep a look out for customers.''

Will cracked up, ''You offered to pump gas?''

''She had to change clothes and her day-time clerk is running late. Someone had to. Besides Bella said something about cleaning out Matthew's potty trainer. Tell me which job you would have offered to do for her?'' Jake shivered at the thought and led Will through the entrance of the station.

She hopped on the bench by the window to get a view of outside, just in case a real customer did drive in and need assistance. Will, meanwhile, busied himself looking over the decor. Bella and Sean were slowly but surely making small improvements to the building, he noted, glancing over the subtle but significant changes since he had last visited. Gone were the mess of papers and wires, the front of the station was now tidy, yet still cozy and he leaned himself against the front desk.

''Don't get me wrong, I love her little Matty,'' Jake continued, ''but I gag if I have to drink a sip of Mountain Dew. With that in mind, I highly doubt I could ever deal with diaper duty.''

''And here I always thought you were fearless,'' he said playfully. ''Never mind babies, I'm still waiting for you and Ham to send out the wedding invitations. You'd make such a dashing groom.''

''Shut up,'' Jake said with a smile.

''I do hope you'll consider me to be your best man when that day comes.''

She laughed, but then sobered quickly. ''Seriously, I don't know if you'll ever receive a save the date notification from us. I'm not sure Hamilton and I even need to go there; marriage. I know what we are and what we're about. I don't necessarily need any grand assurances.''

''Ever the individualist, you are,'' Will held up his hands, abandoning the topic. ''Well, I'm glad you guys showed up. I'm excited about this weekend. We should've done this years ago, but everyone was in college and spread out everywhere and then Matty came along-''

''Everyone started living. It's understandable that no one really had the time.''

''Well, we have three days now,'' he said brightly. ''By any chance, have you managed to read my book? The one I forwarded you last month.''

Jake's expression dimmed as she bite down on her lip. ''I've read _some _of it, yes.''

''And, what'd you think?'' he asked, eager for her opinion.

She winced, as if someone was pulling a band-aid off of her skin. ''Well...''

The door was yanked open suddenly and Scout stepped into the station rubbing at his eyes and smacking his lips, which had apparently dried during his nap.

''Will, you just left me out there by myself? The windows were rolled down and everything. Mosquitoes went to town on my legs.'' Cranky Scout bent down to swipe about at his bare legs, not even registering the figure lounging about behind him in the window seat.

''Don't be such a pussy, man.''

Scout turned around, irritated, about to let loose a retort, yet he stopped short and flinched in recognition, his expression equal parts shock and amusement. Although Will had kept in contact with Jake and Hamilton, Scout, on the other hand, had never developed much of a bond with either of them that summer. He had been too immersed in his Bella-induced depression to form anything more than a casual friendship with Hamilton during the remainder of his time at Rawley. His only knowledge of the couple came from Will, who occasionally filled him in.

Scout had seen her girl it up on the trek to Carson some years prior, but Will knew the Jake before them was a little more polished. He could see it was a shock to the shorter man's system. Despite her tomboy-ish attire of jeans and tank top, her feminine attributes were quite apparent. The soft but striking features, the subtle make-up, the dark, choppy hair. All topped off with that old, familiar slouch.

''Close your mouth and stop gawking, Calhoun,'' Jake ordered.

Scout half-coughed, half-laughed. ''It's going to take me awhile to get used to this. In the back of my head I still remember you, Jake, mostly as the lanky, little coxswain. But this is...'' he paused and took a gulp, impressed. ''Dude, you're hot.''

''Dude, I can still kick your ass,'' replied Jake.

With another chuckle Scout stepped forward and offered her his hand. She stood up and accepted it and even gave him a half-hug. It was at this moment Bella walked downstairs, entering the front room of the station. Her eyes flickered towards Will, then over to the man who had his back to her, in a friendly embrace with Jake.

''Hi,'' Bella said to the room, causing the other three to turn to her. Will and Jake shifted, preparing themselves for the inevitable awkwardness.

Scout turned around and gave her an awkward, nervous smile. ''Hi.''

Seconds later Bella shook off her trance and made for Will, pulling him into a hug. ''Krudski,'' she said, ''you still have that baby-face.''

A few moments passed before she stepped back and, without a word, very cautiously hugged Scout, albeit with a little more hesitance, and a little more space between them.

The front door opened again, this time, though, Sean entered the room. In his mouth were a few pieces of mail and in his arms a toddler who fidgeted restlessly. He paused as his eyes scanned over the others. Jake and Will received a small smile, but when his gaze settled on Bella and Scout his face suddenly went blank.

Bella's own blank, stunned expression at seeing Scout turned to beaming as she stepped away from him and over to Sean. Her smile became even wider when she took the toddler from his arms and into her own. ''And this is, um, Matthew Banks,'' she said more so to Scout than the others, who had of course met the young tyke several times before.

The group then went silent, save for the toddler who spoke soft, nonsensical mumblings to himself. Scout, obviously thrown by the appearance of the child, shifted anxiously, but he smiled at the tyke, and then at Sean as if trying to diffuse the tension. Will, though, was eager to recapture the light atmosphere that filled the room moments earlier and with forced excitement declared that the group should begin making their way out of town and into the sticks.

--------------------

Once her weekend staff arrived at the station to relieve her, Bella and Sean spent a good half hour saying goodbye to their son before leaving him in the trusted custody of Bella's own father, Charlie. With promises to call several times and pop back into the station at least once to check up on him sometime during their weekend excursion, they left.

The couple were now traveling in her truck towards the predetermined spot the group had mapped out and agreed upon, just past Rawley Academy towards the wooded area near the lake.

''Are you sure this is okay?'' Bella asked as he sat behind the wheel.

Sean stared ahead at the road. ''Why wouldn't it be? We've spent time with Jake and Ham before, and you know it's not very often Will gets to visit us.''

''I mean having Scout here. It wasn't exactly a part of the plan.''

''I know,'' the blond man said before reluctantly adding, ''But this whole weekend thing is a big deal for Will. He and Scout are friends, it's not like I can say anything even if I wanted.''

Bella nodded, relieved. ''I just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or put the guys in a position where their weekend gets ruined because you and Scout and...history.''

He laughed in an attempt to calm her nerves. ''That isn't going to happen. I mean, okay, am I somehow going to become best friends with Scout over the weekend? I seriously doubt it. But you know we're not exactly kids anymore. He might be the same guy he was however many years ago, but I'm not, so believe me when I say you won't see me throwing any punches in his direction.''

Sean took a moment to reach over and take her hand, reassuringly. Rather than overreacting as he was known to do in his younger days, he simply mustered a smile, swallowing any discomfort, reminding himself that he no longer had anything to prove to the world when it came to his relationship with Bella. While he had been known to fly off the handle in his younger years, especially when it came to her, he had long stopped resorting to caveman chest thumping in order to feel secure in his standing with her, yet he was still curious and somewhat fearful that despite time and distance the connection that she had shared with Scout Calhoun all those years ago had survived intact.

He wondered if maybe there was still something there, lying dormant. He wanted to believe that all they had since built together amounted to more than what she shared with Scout for those few brief summers. Time would tell, or at least, the upcoming weekend would.

--------------------

Scout was behind the wheel of his vehicle following Bella's truck as Will reclined in the passenger's seat, watching silently as the scenery swept past his window. Jake, meanwhile, remained in the backseat talking on her cell phone, leaning forward so her head was positioned between the two men.

She spoke into the receiver as she moved closer to Scout, examining the top of his head. ''Yeah, Scout ended up coming. I'm riding with the guys now so you should just meet us there. Uh-huh...Of course...No, no, Scout totally still has all of his hair.''

''Who the hell are you talking to, Pratt? And of course I still have all my hair! Why would I not have my hair?'' huffed Scout.

Jake didn't respond but merely continued her phone conversation with Hamilton, who was still at the school campus. ''...How would I know that?! I haven't seen him without his shirt off since my one summer at Rawley.'' She pulled the cell away from her ear, covered the mouthpiece and looked to Scout. ''Ham wants to know if you still have the man-boobs.''

Scout set his jaw, turned red and glared at the dark-haired girl who was grinning inches away from his face. ''You're asking for it, Jake, and you,'' He pointed a stern finger at Will who was barely able to contain his laughter. ''Don't even start with me. I don't know what you all are talking about because I, Scout Calhoun, don't have man-boobs.''

''Sure.''

''Right.''

Will and Jake turned to each other, sharing their amusement. Scout, though, continued to stare ahead at the road, and despite his best efforts not to he had to smile and add, ''You know what I'm praying for? A deer in the road.''

--------------------

Hamilton was leaning on Jake's bike which he had parked on a shoulder encased by tall trees as the others came to a stop a few feet away from him. The occupants exited their respective vehicles and he made his way over to greet them. He took turns bumping fists with the men and delivering manly half-hugs to them before finally saddling up at Jake's side while addressing the group as an entity.

''Summer session at Rawley just ended,'' he announced. ''That means the campus is deserted other than the groundskeeper so we practically have the woods and the lake to ourselves.''

Scout raised his hand as he stood amongst the group. ''I'm still not at all clear on what it is we're doing. When Will roped me into this trip I assumed we'd at least be staying in a cabin of some sort. Are we not?''

''There's no cabin,'' Hamilton clarified.

''So I brought my air humidifier for nothing?'' squeaked Scout, which caused the others to laugh inwardly. ''What? It's the kind that spurts out cool mist. It's refreshing.''

''We're roughing it this weekend,'' Sean explained rather calmly. ''I brought everything we need to camp out properly. Come on.''

The men then began assisting Sean as he unloaded the camping gear from the bed of the truck. Down came several bagged outdoor chairs, as well as two medium sized tents for the group to share. Meanwhile, the two women pulled down the single, large ice chest.

Jake popped the lid open and peered in. ''We really should've thought to stop in at a grocery store in town before heading out here. Seriously, Hamilton could eat all of this in one sitting, there's no way it'll last all of us for three days.''

''My mother said we were welcome to raid her pantry. It's only a fifteen minute walk back to my parents' house,'' said Hamilton.

''Actually,'' Sean interrupted, ''there's one thing I forgot to bring that we'll probably need to go to town for. Alcohol. Any volunteers?''

In succession Scout, Will and Sean heaved 'not it' as if they were children, leaving Bella and Jake to roll their eyes in unison. ''Fine, I'll go.'' Bella relented. ''But someone has to come with.''

With a smirk Scout suggested, ''Jake, why don't you toddle off too and leave the men to set up camp.''

''And why don't you wear a sports bra for those things?'' Jake made a wave towards his chest area.

''I'll tag along if you drive,'' Hamilton offered his companionship to Bella, which she accepted. After a few brief exchanges with the others they were driving off in her truck.

The rest of the group then began the process of carrying the camping equipment further into the woods. Will led the procession into the large mass of trees and foliage with Scout on his tail. Jake and Sean, on the other hand, almost collided into one another as they were about to walk after them. They then paused together at the beginning of the narrow pathway.

''Ladies first.'' Jake beamed playfully, allowing him to walk ahead of her.

''How gentlemanly of you,'' Sean, comfortably familiar with her sense of humor, teased back.

--------------------

A short time later Hamilton and Bella were back in town, having been the two elected to make the trip to the convenience store. Together they strolled the aisles as Hamilton read off a list he had managed to make in his cell phone.

''Okay,'' he began, ''extra snacks, sun-block, lots of bottled water and most imporantly alcohol.''

''I think we're good to go,'' Bella declared, pushing their small cart of items in front of her.

''Jujubees.'' He threw his head back and turned around towards the candy aisle. ''Jake wanted JuJubees.''

Bella raised an eyebrow as he began his search. It was back when he still lived in New Rawley during high school that she discovered that within the tiny little group of people she called her friends, she and Hamilton were the most alike, at least when it came to how they each approached their romantic relationships. He liked overly sweet, sweeping gestures, as did she. It was their idealistic view on love that helped their friendship along for whenever their respective relationships with Sean and Jake hit rough spots they were always able to confide and sympathize over smoothies at Friendly's.

The one time someone commented that they would actually make a great couple resulted in both of them nearly choking on said smoothies. This, of course, was something neither of them would ever be open to. ''No offense,'' he had said to her after recovering from his coughing fit, ''but I like girls with a little more of an edge.'' She of course responded with, ''No offense but I don't like guys who are prettier than me.'' They simply didn't have that kind of chemistry and had never been at all interested in trying to emulate it. But they got along well, so well that she could spot his shifts in mood and emotion, mostly because they often looked like her own.

So as they stood there in the aisle she sensed something which led her to ask, ''are you okay?''

''Huh?'' he said, still staring at the section of empty shelf. ''Why do you ask?''

''You just seem really happy to be here. More so than usual. It's kinda weirding me out. You're not up to anything are you?''

''What do you mean by 'anything' ?''

''I don't know. You just have a certain look about you today that I don't think I've ever seen before.''

The poor thing then looked down at himself, his chest and arms as if they alone would give his intentions away.

''Nevermind,'' she said rolling her eyes at his less than sharp display. ''You probably just got lucky this morning and if that's the case, good for you, but I don't want to know.''

''I'm just in a good mood. A great mood. No reason, don't worry about it,'' he said breezily.

''If you say so.''

He then began leading them to the front of the store where the check-out was located. Once they arrived at the counter the clerk immediately began ringing them up and bagging their purchases. When the cashier announced their total Hamilton happily made for his pocket, and pulled out a few large bills. It was only as they were walking out of the convenience store did he, once again, throw his head back.

''Seventeen.'' he said to the sky above him. ''She wanted the new issue of Seventeen. Pack this into your truck and I'll be back.'' He turned and started briskly back towards the store entrance.

''God... that boy is soo up to something,'' Bella said as she continued pushing the buggy towards her vehicle in the parking lot.

--------------------

Back in the woods, the rest of the group had located a satisfactory area to set up camp, choosing a clearing no more than thirty feet away from the lake with a small dock directly in front of it, which they thought they could make use of later on. Sean had started to assemble the two tents with assistance from Jake, who obviously hadn't a clue as to what she was doing. Scout and Will, meanwhile, stood several yards away, above the small, portable grill Sean had brought in the truck.

''It's taking forever for these hotdogs to cook through.'' Will sighed with annoyance.

''Hey, Will.'' Scout coughed. ''Don't get me wrong, I'll always consider Ham an old buddy but,'' he lowered his voice and leaned forward, careful not to be overheard. ''I kind of wish maybe I'd have been the one brave enough to go 'gay' for Jake.'' His eyes widened as laughter rolled out of him.

''Don't we all,'' Will said under his breath.

''Had I known that,'' Scout raised an eyebrow and motioned his head towards the girl in question. Jake was standing off in the distance, holding a portion of the plastic tent up for Sean while balancing her cell between her shoulder and ear, asking 'What do you mean they didn't have Jujubees?' into the receiver. ''Was underneath those long sleeved shirts...well.'' Scout, embarrassed by his own thoughts, decided not to go down that road.

Will rolled his eyes. ''You better not let Hamilton hear you.''

''Bah,'' Scout waved him off dismissively and plopped himself into one of the chairs nearby. He grabbed a family-sized bag of chips and began to snack, speaking through loud, crunchy mouthfuls. ''It's just an observation. Jake's gorgeous. That doesn't necessarily mean anything coming from me though. I was never really keen on brunettes.''

''Ah, yes, I think everyone's well aware you prefer blonds.''

Scout threw a Dorito chip at Will who merely laughed it off and added a few more hotdogs to the grill before turning serious. ''Listen, I appreciate you tagging along so far, but if you want you can go back into town and grab a hotel room. You don't have to stay with us. I know the whole Matthew thing probably took you by surprise and...if it bothers you, I understand. I'll know you at least tried.''

Scout dropped his bag of snacks down into his lap. ''I knew Bella and Sean had a life here. It's not as if I expected to come back and see things have stood still. It's just that hearing that she's moved on and seeing that she's moved on...two different things.''

Will exhaled. ''I didn't tell you about Matthew, and I probably should have before you agreed to come because-''

''It's not your fault. That was my choice, to fall out of the loop. Look, Will, I'm not saying this weekend won't be a little awkward at times but she's moved on...so have I. It's been years. Like you said, this is about fun.''

The realization that Bella hadn't stopped living, thriving in his absence both pained and relieved Scout. The sight of her holding the toddler had made him even more aware of the reality of the situation. As awkward as he knew sharing a weekend with her would be after all that had transpired he decided to breath through it. He hadn't been all that excited about attending this gathering, but now that he was here he was determined to prove to himself, if no one else, that he had grown, that he had survived the first great heartache of his youth, that he could stand to be in her presence without his actions and emotions reverting to those of the teenage version of himself. Until then, though, it would just be easier to pretend he was unaffected.

''Besides,'' Scout began after gathering himself and mustering joviality. ''You really pulled this weekend thing together for everyone and it wouldn't be cool if I just ditched you now.''

Will smiled warmly before cracking, ''That and you're probably hoping you'll get to see Jake in a bikini.''

''That too.'' Scout then resumed crunching on his snack.

''Calhoun, keep your Dorito-stained hands to yourself,'' said Hamilton as he and Bella appeared in the clearing and walked towards them with a couple of brown paper sacks in hand.

''I wouldn't dare try anything and you know it,'' Scout assured. ''Besides something tells me that girl of yours is ten kinds of crazy. _No thank you_.''

''Who's ten kinds of what?'' asked Jake as she jogged up to the group and greeted each of them with a nod.

They simply shook their heads at her as if to say 'don't bother'. Instead of prying further, she announced she was departing the area briefly. ''My side of the tent keeps collapsing on itself so Sean told me to go, like, gather firewood for tonight or something. Anyone want to keep me company?''

The group shrugged with disinterest. Hamilton even wrinkled his nose and said he'd stay behind with the others.

''Then I'll be back before the sun goes down.'' Jake waved them off as she started walking backwards and away from the group. ''If I find any axe wielding psychos wandering around the woods in search of pretty, young victims I'll be sure to send them your way, guys.''

With that she turned her back and left the clearing. Even after her figure disappeared into the lining of trees and foliage Hamilton continued to gaze wistfully in her direction. Scout, Will and Bella traded bemused looks behind his back. Then a soft foam football flew into Hamilton's head causing the cluster of friends to turn around. A flustered Sean stood a few yards away waving at them, still struggling with the tents, unable to set them up properly on his own.

''Someone gonna come give me a hand or what?'' The blond man scratched the back of his head, overwhelmed by the task.

--------------------

''Oh, you would definitely die out here,'' Jake laughed into her cell phone.

A few minutes after leaving the camp site she found an area littered with several decently sized pieces of wood, which she went about collecting. When her cell phone began ringing it was a bit of a juggling act in order to pull it from her pocket and answer it. Awkwardly holding the branches in her arms she then began to have a conversation with the person on the other line; Monica Pratt.

''I'm starting to rethink the outdoors thing myself, but you,'' Jake carried on light heartedly teasing her mother, ''I don't think you'd survive out here for five minutes. You'd go into shock the second you got dirt on your shoes.''

''Darling,'' Monica began, equally as playful, ''you're idea of roughing it is a day without checking your email. I've seen you go through withdrawls; youll sit in the corner of your bedroom shivering under a blanket. You're hardly one to talk.''

''True,'' Jake admitted with a wide grin.

They had long since rebuilt their relationship. No more was it the silent, distant mess that it had once been. By no means was it perfect or easy, but it was open, it was alive and functioning and that was what mattered, what counted. Her mother was now privvy to the goings on in her life and vice versa. While she would playfully, quietly bemoan her mother's inquiries about her life the truth was she was warmed by them, by every embarrasing question or awkward conversation. It was, after all, what normal mother's did and she was rather pleased with how far they had come together.

''But how is it really?'' Monica asked, quieting her chuckle.

''It's fine,'' Jake answered and slowly bent down to pick up another piece of wood. ''It's actually really nice out here. We're near the lake and we have a couple of tents and Sean brought extra sleeping bags for me and Hamilton.''

''Sean,'' Monica chirped. ''Is that the tall boring one I met that once at your graduation ceremony from NYU?''

''No, that was Will, but he's here too.''

''Ah, yes, Will,'' Monica corrected herself, ''Well, I was just calling to check in and make sure you and Hamilton got to your little gathering safe and sound.''

''Thanks. We'll do lunch or something when I get back.''

''Sounds like a plan.''

''Anyhow, what are you doing this weekend?'' asked Jake, picking up yet another piece of wood but in turn dropping two.

''Oh, my weekend will probably be rather low-key,'' Monica said quietly, her amusement gone completely, ''Last night Patrick and I decided to take a break from each other. A rather permanent one unfortunately.''

''Oh,'' Jake said soothingly at the mention of her mother's failed relationship with the gentlemen she had been involved with simply because heartbreak was never fun at any age let alone her mother's. ''That...just...sucks. I'm sorry, Mom.''

Monica tutted. ''Indeed, but we'll both be fine. Sometimes people move in different directions, it can't be helped. It's for the best really. I have a lot of life left to live and I don't quite feel ready to stand still just yet.''

An inability to stand still was once something they both had in common. Despite all of their differences that one personality trait had somehow been inherited. Her mother enjoyed travelling abroad, from one exotic place to another, one wild event to another. Jake herself had done her fair share of school-hopping, which had to do both with her mother's then lack of attention as well as her own boredom with her surroundings.

But then came Hamilton, who was so bright-eyed and beautiful. Their teenage coupling was filled and fueled by confusion and frustration, but he had been the first one to notice something beyond the false packaging she presented to Rawley. He then came to be the first person she had considered staying still for, with. Of course at seventeen she realized it probably wasn't the wisest thing to do, build her life around another. Which was why she had then decided to step away from the relationship in order for both of them to achieve a healthy sense of self.

Years later though, when they had both found their own identities, after he had been hired to photograph her mother, after they had reconnected Hamilton had floated the idea that it would be nice if he and her could manage to start new and build a proper friendship. So they did and they functioned surprisingly well together in that facet, except for the fact that every so often something would overcome one or both of them, causing them to say something that fell over the line of friendship and into something else entirely.

In conversation she had once noted to him that when he smiled, really smiled, his ears would move slightly, adorably on their own. He had blushed at her observation and she had kicked herself for the girlish thought. Another time, when meeting her for coffee he had noticed that she had gotten her hair cut short into a funny, funky Pepperment Patty-like do. ''You look like a cute little emo boy,'' he had said, which earned him a light slug to the arm. He must not have been thinking because he then reached out across the small table between them to soothe a hand over her hair. Realizing his more than friendly display he had nervously yanked it back and they had both lowered their heads to their cups of joe.

And then there came an evening that changed everything. They had dined out with a group of people they had been friendly with. After the dishes were cleared and desert was served the group remained at their table where several conversations took place at once. While she had enjoyed dinner and the company of the others she was eager to get away from the noise and non-stop dialogue and call it an evening. Hamilton, who thought it only polite to accompany her, had somehow picked up on her weariness and together they stood and said their goodnight, politely dismissing themselves from the table.

They paid their tickets, exited the eatery and started down the sidewalk. They were only a few feet away when she heard it; the beginning notes of a song she hadn't heard in ages playing from inside the restaurant. She could only hear it faintly, but the tiny thrill made her pause and smile.

It was such a simple, trite thing. What touched her was the fact that judging by the confounded expression on his face he had never heard the song nor the band. Regardless, though, he saw how it made her spirits rise, how it made her happy in some small, inconsequential way, and even though he didn't understand it, he wanted her to have it. That moment of pure, silly, simple child-like joy, however brief. It was as if her smile made him smile. And soon he looked just as thrilled to be standing there with her quietly reciting the words to 'Friday I'm In Love' to the city before them.

Not everyone got her that way. Not everyone would indulge in her silliness. That was when the tiny revelation hit her; he was still the only person she would ever stand still for. Staying absolutely still, in her mind, was the ultimate sign of her devotion and her devotion wasn't something she just gave to anyone or anything. But there on the pavement she decided it was something she very much wanted to give to him and by the end of the night her hand had found it's way into his as they walked along together.

She had worn her independance like a badge of honor and it was such a personal feat for her to achieve that sense of self while also embarking on a partnership with him. She'd found a balance that worked for her, for them and the relationship. Stillness had it's own joys, it's own thrills. As she saw it now, there wasn't a single detail she would change about the life she was leading with him at her side.

And so even though she didn't consider anything wrong with her mother continuing to find enjoyment in constant movement and action, she did feel a bit of sadness for her, even though the older woman quickly assured her that as much as she appreciated the effort she didn't need comforting.

''I'm okay,'' her mother explained warmly over the phone. ''Some people were designed to be a certain way, to want different things out of life. I've never been of conventional thinking.''

''Ditto,'' said Jake, kicking a small rock out of her path.

''So don't worry about me. I'm fine. If I need a shoulder to cry on, I'll call, but you just have fun with your little trip into the woods.''


	2. Chapter 2

Later, after Jake finished her call to her mother and returned to the site the group managed to finish the task of setting up camp properly. Two identical medium sized tents stood ten feet apart, between them lay the ice box, several camping chairs and a crackling fire which everyone managed to settle around, and by early evening they were dining on an assortment of junk food. Their jovial conversation settled on the goings-on of their lives, the remarkable, the noteworthy, and the completely mundane.

The two couples had much to share. Jake and Hamilton were still navigating how to live together while Sean and Bella were now looking at houses they were interested in buying. Meanwhile, Scout, who they all thought to be the most successful in the group, and Will, the most ambitious, remained mum about their own personal lives. When the others noticed this they tried to tone themselves down and include everyone in their conversation, and somehow in an attempt to do so the two women segued into a game all their own.

''Ben Affleck or Matt Damon?'' Bella asked, biting into a piece of chocolate.

''Matt, of course,'' Jake said quickly, as if it were the only proper answer.

''I don't think I like the new version of this game,'' said Hamilton as he munched on the growing pile of burnt marshmallows forming at Jake's side as they sat over a blanket on the ground.

''Deal with it Fleming,'' replied Jake playfully.

Meanwhile, Bella looked to Scout and Will, who sat nearby in chairs. ''I had to hear you guys play this silly game all through out high school,'' she reminded them. ''It's refreshing to put a new spin on an old favorite.''

With a smile Will pleaded, ''Can you at least play a game we can all participate in? I'm not that comfortable choosing between Hugh Jackman or Christian Bale or whoever you girls-''

Bella's eyes lit up. ''Gotta be Hugh.''

''No. Christian Bale. Have you seen his abs? Killer.'' Jake shared a knowing smile with her female friend.

''Alright, new game!'' Sean, unable to remain silent or stomach anymore, hollered over from his chair next to Bella's. ''How about Truth or Dare?''

The group moaned their disapproval. ''What are we, eleven year olds?'' asked Jake.

''Says the grown woman who still reads Seventeen magazine,'' said Hamilton.

''Charades?'' Will offered, and again they scoffed.

After several minutes they were able to agree on a game of 'I Never'. Sean quickly went about circling the fire, passing out a bottle of beer to each of them as he instructed them on how to play the game correctly. He briefly explained that they were only to drink if they had done the opposite of each 'I Never' challenge. Once everyone was clued in on the rules he sat himself back down and allowed the game to begin.

''I never lusted after any of my teachers or professors,'' said Jake, beginning the game.

No one drank, but everyone did zero in on Will, as if waiting for him to drink and confirm he had done such a thing.

''What?'' Will asked, thrown by their attention. ''I never had a crush on a teacher.''

''As I recall, you used to stare starry-eyed at Finn during class all the time,'' Hamilton remembered.

''Plus,'' added Scout, ''whenever you'd need to borrow his suit for a dance or event you'd always go into his room to put it on. Little weird, dude.''

''It wasn't like that and you all know it,'' said Will, who rolled his eyes at the assumption. ''He was a great teacher, and friend. He's backpacking through Europe now. Sends me postcards all the time.''

''How romantic,'' gushed Hamilton in a playful tone.

''Eh-heh,'' Will mocked laughter and then urged Hamilton to take the next turn in the game.

''Fine. I never,'' Hamilton began after some consideration. ''Got humiliated during a hazing spree which resulted in me standing in my skivvies in the middle of town.''

Scout and Will groaned at the unsavory memory and shook their heads as they took a drink together.

Bella was clearly teasing, yet she maintained a straight face when she said, ''I recall a half-naked Will doing a really bad Marky Mark impersonation. Sadly, that image still haunts me.''

''It's true,'' said Sean as he patted his wife's arm for effect. ''Sometimes I find her curled up in bed weeping because she's still traumatized by what she saw that one horrible day.''

Will pulled a face at his childhood friends. ''Okay, how about we open this game up so I'm not the only one being made fun, huh?''

He then urged Bella to submit her own 'I Never' challenge. ''Alright,'' the blond woman began, ''I never got a tattoo.''

No one drank, though Jake raised her index finger. ''Do henna tattoos count?'' she asked.

''Nope.'' Sean, clearly taking his role as moderator of the game very seriously, shook his head.

''Henna?'' Will squinted in confusion.

Jake nodded. ''Unlike the real thing, henna tattoos last for a week or two before they fade. It was one of my earliest attempts for my mother's attention, and way before I came to Rawley. I had hoped she'd assume they were the real deal and freak, but she didn't.''

''Was it a tramp stamp?'' Sean asked with a wiggle of his brows.

''What's a tramp stamp?'' Hamilton was at a loss.

Bella rolled her eyes and explained, ''It's a tattoo on the small of a girl's back, right above her-''

''God, no!'' Jake yelped. ''I used the henna on my wrist and that's all.''

''Yeah, I don't think a tramp stamp is so much a Jake thing as it would be like, I dunno, a Grace thing.'' Scout began laughing at his own joke, as if fully expecting the rest to join in.

They didn't. Instead Jake, Hamilton, Will and Sean's expressions dimmed at the mention of Bella's younger sister. No one looked to be quite sure how to respond to such a remark, considering what they knew and what Scout, apparently, didn't. His comment fell flat, and he looked to the others questioningly, but nobody bothered to met his eyes. Bella herself remained silent and shifted in her seat as her own gaze fell to the ground.

Sensing his wife's unease and noticing Scout's sudden look of remorse, Sean changed the subject quickly. ''Will, it's your turn, man,'' he coughed the words out awkwardly.

Put on the spot, Will scrunched up his face and with a shrug he offered, ''I guess I've, uh, never broken the law.''

Sean raised his bottle to his mouth and drank. This garnered quizzical looks from the others. He quickly explained, ''I got a speeding ticket once. Technically, that's breaking the law.''

''You're so hardcore, McGrail, it's turning me on,'' Jake added sarcastically, and as a result a marshmallow was thrown at her in retaliation. It landed in her lap and Hamilton conveinently nabbed it and popped it in his mouth.

Scout raised a hand and announced, ''Okay, it's my turn now. We need to ask juicier questions because, quite frankly, playing a PG-13 version of this game is boring as hell. Here goes mine: I never...kissed someone of the same sex.''

The group went silent as they looked to one another, searching for an admission and movement, though Will was the only one who lifted his drink to his lips and with reluctance took a sip.

''Oh my god, that's right.'' A newly energized Bella looked to Will then Scout, then the others, who chattered with confusion. ''Don't tell me I'm the only one who recalls witnessing a very precious scene between these two on a set of train tracks once?''

Scout winced in recollection, regretting his own 'I Never' challenge. ''It was not precious, and anyway Will kissed me on the cheek. I'm talking full lip on lip action here.''

Will feigned sadness and whimpered, ''It pains me that my kiss meant so little to you. And here I was, so certain of our love.''

Meanwhile Hamilton nudged Jake in her side, silently urging her to speak up. The group's interest was piqued as the dark haired couple began to have a conversation with each other under their breath.

''Jake here isn't playing by the rules,'' Hamilton spoke up, addressing everyone as the woman at his side stammered nonsensically. ''She didn't take a drink.''

''You mean...'' Sean's eyes widened in intrigue. ''Oh, I have to hear this story.''

''I second that.'' Scout reached over and poked Jake with a small twig. ''Spill it, Pratt.''

Jake was somewhat reluctant to divulge the story of the Lena incident. She was secure and comfortable enough in herself not to think her own orientation was questioned by the anecdote, but she could only imagine the group's response. She knew they wouldn't let it go until they got the details, though, and so with a slump of her shoulders she reluctantly began the tale.

''Okay,'' Jake said loudly, trying to quiet the others, ''There was a girl, Lena, during my summer session at Rawley who had the hots for Boy-Jake. She kissed me but only for, like, a split second. Boy-Jake, being the gentleman that he was, put a stop to it right then and there. So technically even though I didn't kiss anyone of the same gender, someone of the same gender did kiss me.''

The others sat before her with frozen expressions before they ultimately began laughing, laughing as if it were the most brilliant and amusing thing they had ever heard. Their shoulders convulsed and those who were in chairs had a hard time staying upright in them as they relished in their friend's embarrassment.

''Jake, man, you're such a stud,'' Scout said teasingly as he leaned out of his chair in order to reach over and slug her in the arm in male fashion.

Will shook his head as if the motion alone would jog his memory. ''Whoa, wait now,'' he said. ''You said her name was Lena, right? Are we talking red hair, freckles, from L.A.?''

Jake shrugged. ''Yeah. Why?''

''...I went out with her Junior year,'' Will said slowly as he connected the dots in his head. ''We dated for nearly a month.''

''You never told me that,'' Hamilton said, and Scout and Sean mirrored his reaction at being left in the dark.

Will sputtered. ''Yeah, I never told anyone because it was over before I had a chance to. She told me she loved movies so one day I decided to surprise her and sneak over to the girl's campus with a couple of her favorite dvds in hand. I walked into her dorm and saw her making out with her roommate...her female roommate.''

This new revelation resulted in yet another round of collective hoots, but the glee came not at Lena's expense, rather Will's, and what they each knew to be only one of his many dating misfortunes.

''I was embarrassed only because it was yet another girl I couldn't make it work with, but now it all makes sense,'' Will said, tickled. ''After her encounter with Jake, she was totally ruined for the rest of us guys. How could we compete?''

''Wait a second,'' Jake interjected, confused. ''I remember her mentioning an ex-boyfriend, plus she asked Hamilton to the dance-''

''During which she ditched me for a couple of guys by the punchbowl,'' Hamilton added.

''Clearly she was overcompensating,'' said Bella, who took a swig of beer and expanded on a sudden theory. ''If what Will is saying is true, maybe this Lena girl always leaned that way, and she just hadn't yet figured it out. Maybe subconsciously that's why she was so drawn to Jake in the first place. Her eyes might've seen a boy, but her brain sensed a certain femininity hidden under the surface. That factor X, you know. I'm not saying she was gay, but... it could very well be a possibility she was at least bi.''

Again the group tossed playful smirks in Jake's direction, snickering at her as she turned ten shades of red right before their eyes. ''You know what? Shut up, all of you,'' she said with a smile. ''Or I will go completely 'Lord of The Flies' on you guys right here, right now.''

''Okay, okay, stop harping on my baby.'' Hamilton quieted his own laughter and waved a hand in the air, shushing the group. ''If you want something to laugh at, I also have a story. This isn't exactly the same thing as kissing someone of the same sex, but bare with me here. Everyone jump in the way back machine to summer session of 2000, Cotillion night.''

''That Lena girl wrangled me into going with her.'' Hamilton began his campfire confession as he looked around the fire and into the eyes of his companions. ''But my mind was somewhere else entirely, and she knew it. In fact, it was Lena who caught me staring at someone else across the room. There was this boy. This boy who for weeks had been confusing the hell out of me, this boy who was witty and dorky and interesting and everything I could ever ask for in a friend. He made me feel something that I just couldn't shake, and believe me when I say I tried. I fought it right up until the last moment, but by the end of the evening I was in the boy's restroom kissing him. Really kissing him. And even though I wasn't quite sure what it meant, I couldn't deny how right it felt to seriously, passionately kiss 'him'. Jake.''

Hamilton's admission received stunned silence. The group was slow on the uptake as each of them turned to Hamilton, then Jake and back again. Eventually they caught up after taking a few sips of beer.

''You kissed her when you thought she was a boy?'' Sean asked in awe and confusion.

''That's bold,'' said Will.

Scout cracked up. ''The power of Jake: able to sexually confuse both girls and boys.''

''Okay, wait,'' Bella interjected, more interested in Hamilton's story than in the game that had prompted him to share it. ''So then what? You walked into the restroom, kissed Boy-Jake and then...?''

''And then, to be perfectly honest,'' said Hamilton. ''I started freaking the hell out. I'd like to sit here and say that I knew all along, but the truth is I walked into that bathroom fully prepared to kiss a boy. I can't really say I regret putting myself out there like that, though.''

Sean chuckled at the exchange. ''That's quite a little story. I didn't go to Rawley so I'm not sure I ever saw Jake in her boy gear.''

''Well, trust us,'' said Will. ''She made a very convincing 'dude'. No offense, Jake.''

''I still don't know how you guys didn't see it,'' said Bella, waving a hand over to the obvious female sitting at Hamilton's side. ''It was so obvious. I mean, the delicate looking skin, her lack of familiarity with pumping gas, the fact that when she rubbed at a stain on her clothes she did it with this weird dainty flair.''

Bella began rubbing an imaginary spot on her jeans in demonstration, which caused the others to chuckle. Jake merely rolled her eyes at the impersonation of herself.

Will then turned back to the couple at the center of attention. ''Now, maybe Bella saw through your boy act, Jake, but the fact remains you had us, as well as the entire Rawley faculty completely fooled. But there's one thing I don't get that neither you or Hamilton ever bothered to explain to me. My question is what blew your cover and got you kicked out?''

Bella looked over at Sean, as they simultaneously realized that despite their friendship with the other couple they hadn't been given the specifics of that particular story either. ''Yeah,'' said Sean, ''all you've ever told us was that your teacher found you out, but you never got into the details.''

Amused, Jake added, ''And you never will, either.''

Intrigued by such a response the group then looked to Hamilton, as if hoping he'd spill the beans and fill them in. ''Don't look at me, I'm a Swiss vault,'' he said with a shake of his head.

Together the group moaned in exaggeration, disappointed at being left out of the loop for what they could only assume was another intriguing anecdote about their days at Rawley.

''Well, in that case I think I'm about done with playing games. I'm ready to call it a night,'' Scout announced as he glanced down at his wristwatch.

''I'm beat, too,'' Sean added. ''Does this mean game over then?''

''It is for me,'' said Bella as she rose from her chair. ''I'm going to the bathroom. Jake, wanna come with?''

''I guess we're using the buddy-system this weekend,'' Jake said as she stood and joined her friend.

Moments later the two women disappeared into the lining of trees together, leaving the men in front of the fire to then work out the sleeping arrangements. With the wind beginning to pick up and the lake only serving to cool the air even more, no one was volunteering to sleep outside in the open. There were two tents and half a dozen people. The math was rather simple. It only came down to who shared a tent with who.

It took only a few seconds for each of them to run through the multiple possibilities, and Sean was the first to speak again when he offered shelter to Will, who nodded gratefully in acceptance. Scout, meanwhile, tossed Hamilton a pleading smile, silently begging him for an invite to bunk in the opposite tent, thus sparing Scout from having to sleep outside, exposed to mother nature.

''I guess that means you bunk with me and Jake in the other tent, Calhoun,'' said Hamilton.

''You don't mind if I sleep in my underwear, do you?'' asked Scout.

''Not unless you want to see me throw up my marshmallows,'' Hamilton quipped before taking a gulp of his beer.

---------------------------------

Elsewhere, nearly a hundred yards away from the camp grounds Jake stood against a thin tree, facing away from a group of bushes Bella had entered moments earlier.

Neither of them were confident they could make the 15 minute trek to the Fleming residence to use the facilities, which Hamilton had informed them were out of order anyway. Bella was the one to suggest they drift away from the campsite and into the woods to do their business. It was there they quickly agreed to take turns keeping a look out so that furry woodland critters, as well as the group of men they were camping with, kept a safe distance away.

Jake had offered to stand guard first. She casually shifted her weight from foot to foot as she pointed her flashlight towards the tree branches before her, curious, but completely out of her element. ''I can't believe I'm about to pee out here, ugh.''

Bella laughed from somewhere behind her. ''Man-up, Jake. You know, I'm surprised you agreed to spend an entire weekend camping.''

''What can I say? The idea of Hamilton running around outside without his shirt appealed to me.''

Bella soon made her way to Jake, who took the roll of tissue from her friend's hand and traded positions. ''The guys are nowhere in hearing range, so do I at least get the story? Why were you kicked out of school here?'' Bella inquired as she faced out into the darkness. ''Something tells me if you're embarrassed by it, it has to be good.''

''I'm not embarrassed by it,'' said Jake from within a cluster of bushes, ''it's just a private thing. Would you want the entire group discussing your private moments with Sean?''

''Fair enough. But what's up with Hamilton?''

''What do you mean?''

''Well, he's always had this whole Hamilton-The-Intense thing going for him, and I've seen him look at you before, but today, tonight, was different.''

''Can you not talk to me while I'm doing this over here?''

Bella paid no attention and continued on with her observations. ''Since you two arrived he's been looking at you like... I don't know, like something big has happened, or will happen. He's been even more doting than usual. You haven't noticed?''

''Seriously, I can't do this with someone talking to me.''

Bella relented, and moments later, as the two women began a leisure stroll back to camp Jake offered an explanation. ''Ham's probably just excited to see everyone. I know I am. I have to admit it's even been fun hanging out with Scout.''

Bella made a thoughtful noise in response, but didn't bother to add to the topic. Scout's unexpected arrival had surprised everyone, yet Jake suspected no one more so than her friend. ''Have you guys...you know...gotten a chance to talk any today?'' Jake asked. ''Alone, I mean.''

''No.'' Bella kicked a rock out of her path. ''I'm glad he's here. He has every right to be, but playing silly campfire games with him is one thing, opening up ugly, old wounds is another. I think it'd be best for everyone if he and I just steer clear of the past.''

Jake stopped in her tracks, causing Bella to do the same. ''If I had some, I don't know what you'd call him... some long lost friend who I fell out with, I'd want to make sure he was okay. I'd at least want to try to bridge the gap. I don't know much about what you had with him, but you told me that at the heart of it was a friendship.''

''Exactly.'' Bella nodded glumly in the direction of camp. They were just barely able to make out the flickering fire and detect the faint voices of the men off in the distance. ''We were friends. Were. A long time ago. Then he left and never looked back. Considering all I put him threw back then I can't say I blame him, but after everything that happened or rather everything that didn't happen between us I'm not so sure he wants to resume whatever friendship we once had. What's lost...is lost, and if that's the case, why broach the subject.''

''So, what, you're just going to avoid him the entire weekend?''

''No. I'm sure he and I will find a spare moment sometime in the next couple of days to talk about work or family or what have you. We just won't talk about the past.''

Jake fiddled with her flashlight and bit down on her lip before testing the waters by speaking again. ''And Grace...? I saw how you reacted to his Grace joke. If he knew about certain things that have happened during these past few years it might spare you a little discomfort. He might be a little more careful with his words.''

Bella shook her head adamantly. ''I haven't seen Scout in ages, and thatisn't the kind of thing you just lay on a person. So Grace left town. You know, Hamilton knows, Will knows, the entire population of New Rawley knows, and it really isn't of any importance that Scout know.''

''And if it comes up somehow?''

''Then I'll deal with it then,'' Bella said with finality, then, with a faint smile, segued the conversation onto a lighter topic. ''Now please... let's get back to camp. You're as tiring as my four year old.''

''Hey.'' Jake nudged her lightly in the shoulder.

''You both make a fuss over inconvenient outdoor bathroom breaks, too.''

--------------------

Once the women returned to camp the group resolved to get some rest for the following day and readied themselves for bed. While Sean, Bella and Will retired into one tent, and Scout into the other, Jake remained outside with Hamilton while they fished through their bag for sleeping clothes. He quickly changed out of his jeans and into a pair of basketball shorts, yet chose to remain shirtless. This briefly caused Jake to pause. Although he had voiced his physical wants earlier, she herself wasn't without her own. She wasn't exactly prepared to do anything about it in the moment, but she still let herself admire.

She had been warmed earlier when he had recounted the story of their Cotillion kiss to the others without hesitancy or embarrassment, and she couldn't help but feel somewhat proud of him. She supposed Bella was right, Hamilton was being even more doting than usual, though she summed it up to nostalgia. Especially when he suggested they sneak away to what he referred to as 'first date restaurant' sometime the next day.

''I thought we were here to camp though,'' she said, stepping into pajama bottoms and pulling on a wifebeater.

''We are, but I don't think the others will mind if we ditch them for a few hours,'' he reasoned. ''For old time sake, what do you say?''

She registered his eager tone and studied his eyes before deciding. ''Okay. It's a date,'' she declared with a single nod.

He grinned and reached out to cup one of her cheeks while his other hand drifted lower, down her neck, shoulder, and arm, to finally settle on her hip where he gently pulled her towards his frame. And there with the stars as witness and the warm wind for company he brought her lips to his.

''What was that?'' she asked after several moments, regaining her composure and licking her lips.

''That was goodnight.'' He shrugged. ''I don't know. Isn't that how I always kiss you?''

''Yeah, but,'' she paused. ''That was a little more...passionate.''

''Well, you know what Finn once said to us. Passion doesn't come from here,'' he pointed to his head, ''and it doesn't come from here,'' then to his heart, ''it comes from-''

''Get in the tent,'' she ordered, cutting off his speech and lightly swatting his hand away when it neared his lap area. ''And for future reference reciting Finn's lectures will only serve to turn me off.''

He groaned in mock frustration as she leaned forward to kiss his chin. ''After all these years he's still keeping me from getting laid.''

-------------------------

Meanwhile, Scout was squirming within his sleeping bag. He had kept his undershirt on, not wanting to provoke anymore jokes. While he wasn't that pleased with the accommodations, he knew the majority of his current discomfort stemmed from having to share a tent with Jake and Hamilton, who he could hear just outside of the tent, talking affectionately to each other.

He couldn't really recall why he hadn't bothered to continue a friendship with them since his time at Rawley, but he had an inkling that it was more to do with distancing himself from Bella, the town she loved and the people she called her friends, than it was the couple themselves. The only tie Scout maintained was the one he had formed with Will, and while the others hadn't been unwelcoming he hadn't exactly felt a part of the group since he had arrived earlier in the afternoon, especially after his verbal misstep earlier in front of the fire. He wasn't intent on repeating himself, but when the couple finally stepped into the tent and made for their sleeping bags Scout hoped to lessen his own unease by chattering. Chattering about the bugs, about the temperature, about the rocks he felt underneath the plastic floor of the tent, and about the overall unfamiliarity with camping conditions.

''Does anyone else's sleeping bag make them itch? I itch. I think there's a bug in mine,'' Scout rambled as he dug in a nearby bag and pulled out a spray bottle. He quickly, yet thoroughly applied a coat on himself. ''So life seems to be treating you two pretty well, huh?''

''You could definitely say that,'' said Jake.

Scout bumbled on, ''Every morning Jake probably suits up for a day at the office and, Ham, you probably spend most of your day fretting over the stove like a good housewife.''

''You can have a nice little laugh, but you have no idea how off base you are, man, so just go to sleep,'' Hamilton said coolly.

''I jest,'' Scout said apologetically.

''And anyway,'' Jake began turning the tables, ''what exactly have you been up to? Earlier when everyone was talking about life since Rawley you were uncharacteristically quiet. You got our story, why didn't we get yours?''

''Why are you guys interested?'' Scout inquired wearily.

''Well, we need something to put us to sleep,'' Hamilton said jokingly. ''Really, though, you're Scout Calhoun. After graduation everyone hoped for great things from Will, but everyone just _expected_ great things from you. We're curious. Shouldn't you be boasting about weekends in Aspen and, like, yachting or something?''

''You probably have kids named Taylor and Leslie and a Stepford wife to boot,'' Jake said playfully.

Scout tensed and he couldn't help put feel an ache in his chest as his mind briefly gave thought to his ex; a woman he very much loved, but ultimately walked away from. What made him feel even worse was the fact that he wasn't entirely sure he had needed to walk away from her, or their relationship to begin with.

He'd actually met her because of Will, funnily enough. She was a clerk at his favorite used book store and Scout would often tag along for a lack of anything better to do. While the taller man would sift through the stacks of new arrivals, Scout always found himself drifting towards the register. He'd grab a random book and pretend to read; all the while he'd steal glances at the young women behind the counter. She was short, cute in that bookish way, but her smile, that's what killed him. He'd see it every time she said thank you and goodbye to a customer and each time he wondered what it'd be like to be on the receiving end of that smile.

He never mustered up the courage to talk to her. Until the day she spoke to him, that is. After a month and a half a dozen visits she had asked him ''Good read?'' as she pointed to the small novel in his hands which he had been pretending to read that day. He grinned nervously, nodded eagerly and replied, ''Yeah. Intriguing. Thought provoking.'' Of course then he looked at the cover and realized he was holding a Babysitter's Club book.

And that's how they began, over a laugh. What they then went on to form, to share was one of the most amazing things he'd ever experienced. Will had teased him about his tendency to fall for working class, but she saw the world with more clarity than anyone he'd ever known. They saw each other just over a year. He fell. He fell like he had never fallen before, but once again he let his mind and heart wonder and he had began to fear that his Bella-related baggage would cause him to ruin the relationship. He knew what heartbreak felt like, and the last thing he wanted to ever do was inflict it upon another. Not wanting to pain her, he decided to walk away from it all before it could ever get to that point.

And so a few days after having rang in the year of 2010 he decided it was time, that it'd be best to step aside then so she could begin the new year fresh, without him. She was calm and understanding, which made it even more difficult for him to look at the hurt in her eyes. And later, when they had finally gathered themselves emotionally, they said their goodbye and he let himself out into the cold January air. People and cars passed him up on the sidewalk, all of them, all the occupants, all the faces seemed to still be beaming with mirth from the recent holiday season, glowing with warmth as a chilly discontent formed inside of him.

That was a few months ago, though, but the loss felt just as pressing as he laid on the other side of Jake and Hamilton in their shared tent.

''I guess I'm just not in a very boastful mood,'' said Scout quickly, uncomfortable with his life as the topic. ''I don't have any kids, or a wife. I mean, I have a fiancé. I mean, okay, an ex-fiancé, but... I'm not the yuppie you think I am.''

They delivered soft, sympathetic looks towards him at the mention of his failed engagement. He had said too much and unintentionally put a dampen on the atmosphere. He was quick to regret his talkativeness, but was at a complete loss as to how he could diffuse the awkwardness now in the air. Thankfully, though, the couple quickly went about lightening him up.

''Well, if it means anything, we're glad you came,'' Hamilton added in a sincere tone.

''Yeah, we are.'' In an attempt at camaraderie Jake reached over to Scout to deliver a soft pat on his shoulder. ''And you know, Calhoun, joking aside, in all seriousness, about the whole man boobs thing-''

''I don't have them and you were just busting my chops for fun, huh?'' Scout asked, hopeful.

''Well, no, you _do _have them and I was about to offer you that old binder I used to strap down my chest back in the day,'' Jake said with a smile, like a sibling trying to alleviate her brother's sullen mood with a diverting wise-crack. ''It's been sitting in my closet untouched for years, but say the word and I can Fed-ex that sucker to your home address.''

Scout couldn't resist laughing at the ridiculous visual her offer had brought to mind. ''Gee, thanks.''

''If you ever change your mind the offer will always be on the table,'' Hamilton teased.

As the couple at his side carried on joshing him good naturedly Scout finally began to feel at ease. It was as if they were extending an olive branch to him in their own playful manner. He was warmed to be, on some small level, embraced by his two old classmates.

--------------------

**Saturday**

The next morning found Hamilton on the other side of the lake taking photos of the body of water and it's surroundings. He normally opted for one of his more high end cameras, but due to packing light he only had one of his small digitals on hand.

He had risen early, slipped into another set of clothes and ventured out to formulate his thoughts and gather his nerves for the day to come. Reminiscing with the others in front of the fire the previous evening had allowed him to re-examine his youth. Specifically, his first summer attending Rawley. Jake seemed to be a key component in many of those memories. There were more joyful than there were sour, yet he recalled all of them with affection. His nostalgia mixed with his excitement over the ring and he couldn't help but be giddy.

He had often considered marriage, and he was certain that it would one day factor into his life. It was because he was so positive of it that he had felt no need to rush towards matrimony when they reconnected, yet he had begun to feel that he was ready for more.

Some weeks earlier they had been attending a silent auction organized by a local children's community center that was in dire need of funds. Local artists had contributed paintings, musicians offered lessons, a successful restaurateur offered a dinner at one of his establishments. Hamilton himself had contributed a few large framed prints of his photos. By the end of the event many of the items had auctioned off for more than they were worth, his pictures, specifically, had netted a generous sum for the organization. He was quite proud, and Jake had been especially warmed.

Although they had planned to dine out afterwards they instead opted to return to their apartment. Once there they simply undressed and retired to bed, though falling asleep wasn't quite on the agenda she was the first to do so eventually. He didn't mind, in fact he found her tendency to fall asleep almost directly after lovemaking to be unbearably adorable. It was only when he started to doze that he felt her extract herself from his grasp and leave the room. When she didn't return within the next few minutes he groggily padded out of the bedroom in his boxers.

He found her in the living area, sitting in her pajamas amidst an array of computer parts. Without looking up she had explained that over the years she had somehow amassed several PCs, and that with each upgrade she had always nabbed something valuable out of the previous, saving it for a rainy day. A sound card here, a graphics card there, hard drive upon hard drive, and various other components collected into two large boxes she had placed in the spare bedroom. She had said she had no real use for the items anymore. As he sat down across from her she told him how she had thought of a much better home for them.

''The woman who runs that center told me the kids are using systems from, like, 2002, Ham,'' she had said, appalled. She then explained that if she compiled her own belongings she might actually be able to construct a few units for the center, and with the help of a few of her tech savvy co-workers she thought she could even produce more. His generous contribution had inspired her to make her own, and in turn she had inspired him all over again. So much so that he went out and bought the ring the next day as she caught up on her sleep.

He had thought there was no better time to run, leap, move towards something bigger. Will's sudden need to reunite everyone for a weekend back in New Rawley had given him the idea as to how to finally bring up the matter. He figured come early evening he'd simply excuse them both from the rest of the group so they could manage a quiet dinner alone. Then he'd make it happen.

He reached down to pat over the ring tucked into his pocket and sighed contently before snapping another photo of the lake, relishing the sounds of mother nature in the place that had first brought her to him.

--------------------

Meanwhile, Scout woke up to the sound of quiet laughter. He knew it wasn't either of his tent-mates because when he opened his eyes he noticed that Hamilton was missing, and that Jake was sound asleep curled up hedgehog style on the opposite side of the tent. He groggily stepped out of the plastic shelter and winced as the sun struck his face. Once his eyes adjusted to the light he realized the laughter had been coming from Bella and Sean.

Together the couple stood over the ice chest, chuckling lightly as Sean playfully tried to stick a chip of some sort in her mouth while Bella tried to dodge it. Scout blinked, digested the scene and searched himself for a reaction, for jealously or numbness. Anything that would give him a clue as to what he felt for her, if he felt for her. Before he was able to find a reaction within himself, though, Jake stepped out of the tent behind him.

They raised their heads in greeting to one another. ''You have dried drool all over your right cheek.'' Scout pointed to his own face, motioning to the corresponding area on hers. A slightly embarrassed Jake wiped at the spot with her palm. ''Where's your other half?'' he asked her.

She yawned and shrugged in response. Seconds later, when Will crawled out of the opposite tent on his hands and knees, equally as unkempt, she asked him, ''You don't know where Hamilton is by any chance?''

Sean and Bella, having picked up the tail end of their conversation, walked over and informed everyone of Hamilton's whereabouts. ''We woke up just as he was leaving. He said he wanted to get some pictures from the other side of the lake,'' explained Sean.

Once that was resolved the group went about going through the normal morning rituals of brushing their teeth and changing into fresh clothes, as they did talk turned to their plans for the day. Will was intent on taking the others hiking, though the group resolved to split up into clusters for the time being as Sean had wanted to take Will into town to visit a few of their old childhood haunts. They invited the others to join them; Jake and Scout declined, as did Bella who encouraged her husband and old friend to go on without her. After a few waves the two men left with the keys to Bella's truck.

''And then there were three.'' Scout smiled at the women.

''Actually, and then there were two,'' Bella said after her cell phone alerted her of a new text message. ''It looks like I need to go in and 'okay' a few things at the garage. The new clerk hasn't gotten the hang of cycle counts, and it also seems he may have inverted a SKU number of an engine part I told him to order and...''

Scout and Jake stared at her blankly, obviously unfamiliar with the terms she was using.

Bella looked to Jake. ''Sean and Will probably took off in the truck already. Do you mind giving me a lift to the garage on your bike?''

''I don't think Hamilton ever gave me back the keys,'' Jake said with an apologetic smile.

''I could give you a ride into town if you need,'' Scout said with what he hoped was nonchalance. ''I mean, if you really need it, that is.''

Bella turned to Jake, as if searching for some kind of confirmation as to whether she should accept or decline the offer. Jake simply gave her a shrug. Bella then accepted Scout's ride, thanking him with a nod of her head. As he went about gathering his keys she asked Jake, ''You coming with? I promise I won't make you pump gas. We might be gone for a couple of hours, and I don't want to leave you by yourself.''

''I'm cool here.'' Jake waved them off while grabbing her magazine with the other hand, placing it in her lap and turning a few pages. ''Besides Hamilton should be around soon. You guys go. I'll see you in a few.''

Bella and Scout traded awkward smiles at each other before walking off together, into the lining of trees and down the pathway that would eventually lead them back to the parked vehicles.

--------------------

A half hour later, Scout was standing in the station garage with Bella, watching as she glanced over an order form before jotting her signature onto it and handing it off to one of her employees.

He had offered her the ride into town out of curiosity. Being in her presence with the others around was simple enough, but he wanted to see his own reaction to being alone with her. Though he feared that his feelings might be reignited, he knew direct interaction with her was the only way in which to find out what, if anything, he felt for her.

''It looks like you guys have put a lot of work into the place,'' he said, standing in place and turning a few circles as he glanced at his surroundings. ''Paint job on the building. New pumps. A couple of employees calling you ma'am. I'm impressed, Bella.''

She smiled, pleased he had noticed. ''We'll always be a small business, but we're secure now. Sean and I really worked hard to get it where it is today. Once my dad started to let me take over I made a few, simple changes-''

''Like?''

''Like,'' Bella began sheepishly. ''Repositioning the sign, making it bigger. Plus a few other subtle alterations.''

Scout beamed. ''You know, I get paid for making those kinds of observations now.''

''I do know actually. You look like you've done well for yourself.''

''And you came to that conclusion because...?'' he asked slyly.

''Well for one,'' Bella motioned over to his vehicle parked in front of her building. ''You rolled up in that. You actually do have a beamer now, Scout. Besides, Will always manages to mention you in his emails. You've had your own success and by comparison my little garage doesn't even begin to compare to what you've done for yourself.''

''I may have my corner office, my loft, me beamer, but...Bella, you're a mom. That's...well, that's....'' he was at a loss for words, unable to describe how amazed he was.

Her face lit up. ''Huge. Sometimes I still have a hard time believing it myself, but Matthew is one of the best things to ever happen to me. And Sean, Sean just adores him. I always knew he had this huge heart underneath the tough-guy exterior, and no one ever really believed me until Matthew came along.''

''And what about you?'' he asked, genuinely curious and slightly envious of how her life seemed to be flourishing. ''What's it done to you?''

She turned her head away and looked at the garage wall to her left where a corkboard was attached. She took a few steps towards it to unpin a picture, then returned to his side and offered it to him. ''Raising Matthew, loving Matthew, having him love me, having that bond...it's showed me what's worth holding onto, and what isn't. He taught me how to give forgiveness I was so bent on denying.''

Scout looked down at the picture in which Bella sat on a bench in front of the station with her tyke in her lap. The young boy had his head turned just slightly in order to lay a sloppy kiss onto her cheek. Beside them sat an older woman, her already light hair traced with a few, noticeable silver strands. She looked on at Bella and Matthew, laughing.

''Is this your mother?'' he asked, studying the image.

''Yeah,'' she said. ''A few months back at Matthew's birthday party.''

''You and her....?''

''She and I both know we'll never be or feel like mother and daughter, but we made our peace,'' she offered as explanation. ''I woke up one day, and I looked at my life and realized... there's nothing too special about getting hurt. But getting over it? Now that takes work.''

Scout handed back the picture, then paused to squint, just realizing something. ''What is that? Did you just quote a song?'' Bella smiled encouragingly. ''What's it from?''

''Now, what kind of challenge would it be if I just told you?''

With the initial awkwardness now diffused he inquired playfully, ''So it's a challenge, huh?''

''If you want it to be.''

''In that case I accept. In the meantime, though, why don't you show me all the little tweaks you and Sean have made to the station. I'll give you guys some advertising advice.''

''Are you sure we can afford your services?''

''All I ask is that you squeegee my car windshield as payment.''

''I'm so honored,'' she said sarcastically.

''I didn't mean you literally, get one of your minions to do it,'' he cracked.

Bella rolled her eyes, and waved for him to follow her into the building. ''First, how about you come in and say hello to Charlie and you can meet Matthew properly? I don't think you got to do that yesterday.''

Scout surprised even himself when he said, ''I'd like that.'' He followed as she led him into the station, through the front room and up the stairs. He thought nothing of the question he then posed. ''Hey, where's Grace? I didn't see her around yesterday. I completely forgot to ask. I mean, is she in college or does she-''

''She left,'' Bella said as they arrived at the living quarters above the garage.

She paused at the entrance, blocking Scout from moving forward. He remained silent, not quite sure he understood her properly, though he was intuitive enough to notice her previous jovial demeanor become more somber.

''Look, Scout, do me a favor.'' Bella spoke slowly and in a whisper. ''When we go in and we talk to my dad, don't mention Grace. At all. Please.''

''Why?''

''I'll explain later.'' She swallowed uncomfortably as her eyes pleaded. ''For now just do me that favor.''

''Of course,'' he whispered back. She nodded and with a weak smile led him into the family area.

--------------------

Elsewhere Will and Sean were just arriving at the baseball field in town. The two men hopped out of the truck and their feet hit the parking lot gravel with a crunch. Will noticed not much had changed since he had last visited. The worn scoreboard was still in place as was the orange dirt and the battered home base. Looking over the artifacts of his childhood he had a sudden rush of nostalgia, but a sense of melancholy came with it. He always imagined that when he returned to his hometown, he would have something under his belt, some feat, some triumph, personal or career-wise.

Sean pulled a couple of catcher's mittens from the back of the vehicle and tossed one in Will's direction. ''I started coaching little league baseball on the weekends,'' Sean said excitingly as he pointed out to the group of children doing jumping jacks in the outfield. ''The assistant coach is filling in for me today, but I wanted to drop in on them and say hi.''

''So you're coach McGrail now, huh?''

''Yep. Last week, Bella and Matthew came out to watch from the bleachers and I'm telling you they all fell in love with Bella and somehow appointed Matthew as the team's unofficial mascot.''

Will nodded politely, but only interjected to move the conversation back towards himself. ''By any chance have you finished reading my book yet? I sent two print-outs. One for you, another for Bella.''

''Uh, yeah,'' Sean said slowly as he lowered his head, remorseful. ''About that. Matthew spilled juice all over one of them so we threw that one out. I told Bella to take her time reading the clean copy. But, I mean, after she's done with it I'll all over it.''

Will looked away gloomily. Neither Scout, Jake nor Sean had yet to finish reading his work, or if they had they simply weren't eager to share their opinion of it with him. Either way, he felt somewhat downtrodden by their apparent indifference on making it a priority. He tried to shake off his dissatisfaction as he then followed Sean past the gates and onto the field.

''Enough about that. Tell me, Mr. Big Shot Writer how it's been going out there for you?''

Will smiled sadly and beat his fist into his glove. Nothing was more frustrating than having to recite all the ways in which he wasn't successful. ''I've gotten three short stories published, a novel no book agent will touch and I pay my rent by writing vacation brochures. I'm not exactly living my dream.''

''But you're chasing it, and that counts for something,'' Sean said brightly and swatted Will on the arm with his glove. ''Come on, I'll introduce you to my team.''

Begrudgingly he followed Sean further out onto the grass to the cluster of children, who soon stopped their exercises to energetically greet their coach with high fives and playful slugs to the arm. Will knew it was petty and childish, but as he watched his childhood friend being embraced he couldn't help but be envious. It wasn't as if he wanted Sean's life, or family, or job, it was more so that he longed to be admired for something, by someone, anyone. He had left New Rawley in the hopes of finding success elsewhere, and he had yet to capture it, while Sean, in his own way, was flourishing in the town Will had always seen as a dead end.

--------------------

Back in the woods, Hamilton was just barely making his way to the camp grounds where he noticed Jake sitting quietly, thumbing through her magazine. She had apparently changed back into jeans and a snug tee he was pleased to see hugged her in all the right places. He couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the sight of her. Whether she was under three layers of boys clothes or miles away in another city or sitting directly across from him at their very own kitchen table she always managed to make him feel light-headed.

He gave thought to walking over and bending down on one knee right there before her, but he couldn't, he had spent to much time and put to much effort into orchestrating the perfect moment that would take place later that day. Of course that didn't mean he couldn't indulge in a bit of silliness. He got her attention by holding up his camera and quickly snapping a photo of her.

''You're going to delete that picture, right?'' she asked, looking up at the flash.

''I don't think so,'' he said as he dropped the camera into one of his cargo pockets and started to approach. ''Where is everybody?''

''Oh, Bigfoot attack. You just missed it. Sadly, Bella and the boys didn't make it. Lucky for you, I'm the lone survivor,'' she said sarcastically before explaining properly, ''They all wanted to go into town for a couple of hours.''

''So we're here alone?'' he asked eagerly.

''Why are you so anxious?''

''Well.'' Hamilton let the glint in his eyes do the talking as he took a step closer.

''You're serious?'' Jake asked, all too familiar with that glint and tone.

''When am I ever not serious?''

''Wait, I thought you wanted to go the restaurant near the pier today.''

''I do, and we will later tonight, but since we're here alone for the time being...''

''Hamilton, my hair is everywhere and I'm fairly certain I still have dried drool on one side of my face. I'm not exactly looking...hm, what's the word?'' she squinted for effect. ''Foxy.''

He gently pulled her up from her seat, coaxing her as he kissed his way down the side of her face. ''Of course not. You don't look foxy at all. Foxy doesn't even begin to describe you. Amazing and brilliant, now those words suit you much better. And haven't you heard? Dried drool is the new black. I think I saw an article in your magazine about the new trend that's sweeping the nation.'' She was beginning to respond to his mouth, but he still halted his excited speech to cautiously ask, ''Do you... not want to? Because it's okay if you're not up for it.''

She studied one of his upper arms and shook her head without looking him in the eye. ''Of course I want to.''

''Then come on, I'll be so quick.''

''You say that like it's a good thing.''

''Just because I can get the job done quickly doesn't mean it'll lack quality. You should know that by now seeing as how you have first hand experience.''

''That may be, but where exactly do you think this is going to happen? I mean...a tent?'' Jake wrinkled her nose, uncertain. ''Outside, in the woods? Oh, my mother would die if she knew.''

''I'm sure your mother would die if she knew a lot of other things too,'' he said coyly, leaning into her to brush his nose against hers.

''I doubt it. She's the one always trying to get details out of me, but I have you know in that regards I am very much a _lady_.''

''Well, would the lady do me the honor of escorting me into the tent.'' He gestured theatrically towards the plastic shelter. ''It'll be adventurous. It's just you, me, mother nature...and that squirrel over there that's been staring at us for the past few minutes.''

She gave him a sideways glance, as if debating within herself before eventually approving of the idea with a smile. In the next instant they were kicking off their shoes while they half jogged-half stumbled their way into one of the tents and zipped it up behind them. The setting was quite strange, but it didn't deter them any.

By this point she had assisted him in stripping down to his boxers, and he had been all too willing to help her with the process of shedding a few articles of clothing, too. They then engaged in a few moments of playful jostling. Between kisses they would fight for dominance as one would pin the other down only to be tipped off and rolled over onto their back. But it was a play-fight he was happy to lose, especially when he finally stopped moving and allowed her to sit atop him in her underwear.

''Jake,'' he said, trying to get her attention as she bent down to nuzzle his neck.

''Hm?''

''I love you,'' he said into her hair.

She pulled back slightly and smiled above him. ''...I do too.''

''Don't you dare do that,'' he said pleadingly. ''You know it drives me nuts when you do that.''

''Do what?''

''When you don't say it back: I love you, too.''

''You know I do,'' she said whole heartedly.

''Yeah, but-''

He was cut off by a kiss. This time though it wasn't light or playful, this was a kiss that clearly meant business, a kiss that took great strength and determination to pull away from.

''I still want to hear it,'' he said, breaking away several minutes later in order to catch his breath.

She sighed. ''My magazine was right about your hair; you're so needy.''

''And you're so not getting away with not saying it.''

''I love you too, Hamilton,'' she reassured.

''Now was that so hard?'' he asked.

She raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth, tickled by his choice of words considering their current situation. Hamilton could only imagine the teasing remark she was about deliver so he cut her off by pulling her into a kiss. One that matched the intensity of moments earlier.

He was through with teasing and being teased, but again, their kiss came to a halt when she murmured ''Where are your cargo shorts?'' against his lips.

''What?'' he asked, relishing the feel of her and shuddering in anticipation while he ran his hands up her slender, bare arms.

''Your shorts, where'd you throw them?'' She sat up, pulling her lips from his and began a search in the bundle of sleeping bags and blankets. ''Because I'm deleting that picture from your camera or at least taking an equally embarrassing one of you.''

The ring in his pocket came to mind. ''No!'' Hamilton exclaimed, and then softened. ''I mean, _no_.''

''Found them.'' Jake announced, pulling them out from under his right leg and quickly rifling through one of the many pockets. He grabbed for them, yet she yanked them back out of his grasp. ''What's your problem?''

''Nothing. Here, let me give you the camera, then you can take as many embarrassing pictures of me as you want.''

Her hand searched yet another pocket. ''Are you hiding food in your shorts or something and you don't want me to find out?''

Again he tugged on the article of clothing. ''Please let me do this, Jake.''

''How many times have you rolled over in bed in the middle of the night and said_ that _to me?'' she quipped dryly. ''Look, I'm not going to steal your food, Ham. I'm just getting the camera...''

They engaged in a brief tussle for the shorts until she managed to pull a small object from a pocket. What she found was no snack and no camera, but rather a small black box. She blinked down at it for several seconds before opening the lid. She was clearly startled and confused by her findings. As bright as he knew her to be he saw he was going to have to spell this out for her. Hamilton wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he pressed on.

''Jake, look at me.''

''Hamilton, I-''

Before either of them could say another word, someone had unzipped the tent and began crouching into the low entry. Someone-being Scout-placed a foot in before noticing the scene in front of him. He looked to Jake, then Hamilton, and then the ring between them. Within seconds, he was scrambling back out of the tent, tripping over his own feet as he exited.

''Why does this always happen to me while I'm in my underwear?'' she sighed under her breath.

''Damn it,'' Hamilton huffed after the man had already fully retreated. He dropped his head, but then picked it up again when she began wrangling herself back into her clothes. ''Wait, what are you doing?''

''Um, Hamilton, Scout's right outside this tent. There's no way we're going to keep going-''

''What? No, that's not important right now,'' he laughed nervously. ''Jake...I have a ring. I have a ring, and I want to know what you think about that.''

''I think,'' she said slowly, trying to remain composed, ''that we should both go outside and make sure that _our boy Scout _keeps his mouth shut, and then, then we'll talk.''

--------------------

Scout, shocked by the scene he had just happened upon, nearly tripped in front of the tent. He quickly jumped up with a vigorous shake of his head, finally managing to steady himself and fix his gaze out towards the lake ahead. He hadn't seen much, but it was clear to him that he had walked in on what appeared to be an intimate moment between his old classmates in more ways than one.

He heard a short, hushed conversation take place inside the tent, and soon a shirtless Hamilton crawled out. ''What the hell?! Don't you knock?'' the taller man asked, more startled than angry.

''Who knocks on a tent?'' Scout exclaimed, trying to shake off his embarrassment. ''I was only going in to grab my bug spray, although I don't appreciate you guys doing...whatever on top of _my_ sleeping bag.''

Jake stepped out of the tent then, presentable again. ''Not one word, Scout,'' she warned, hopping as she put her shoes on.

''Only to my therapist I assure you both. Scout's honor.'' Scout made light and blushed at both parties.

He noticed the couple trade bewildered looks, and then Jake was off, walking away from camp. Hamilton offered no explanation, instead he hurried after her, grabbing his previously discarded sneakers from the ground as he went. Scout was left standing alone and confused, though he didn't have time to give it much thought since Bella arrived at the clearing shortly after.

Their exchange at the gas station had brought up some feelings of affection for her, but whether they were romantic or not he still couldn't decide. He had become preoccupied with trying to figure out what exactly it was that was bothering her. The drive back from the station had been fairly quiet, but his curiosity over Grace's absence had ultimately gotten the better of him. Bella seemed uncomfortable with discussing the matter then and there, but she assured him she'd do so if he really cared to know. Her only request was that he allow her some time to privately gather her emotions. She insisted on staying behind in his vehicle for a few, solitary moments and urged him to go on to camp without her, which he did.

But now, as she stood in front of him he could see that she was slightly frazzled. ''Where's Jake? Did Hamilton come back?''

''Uh.'' Scout fake-coughed. ''I just saw them take off together. I guess they went for a walk.''

She took a seat around the extinguished fire and began timidly, ''Listen, I'm sorry about being a little wiggy when you brought up Grace. It's just that her leaving...it's not something we really talk about anymore. My dad exhausted himself on it and it just took too much out of him.''

Scout took a seat at her side. ''When you say she left, what exactly do you mean?''

Bella exhaled heavily, refusing to betray her calm exterior. ''When I say she left what I mean is one day, without warning, without a word to anyone she left New Rawley.''

''Why?'' he asked softly.


	3. Chapter 3

Jake was swiftly progressing alongside the lake nearby, trying to wrap her head around the events that had just taken place and the visual that kept flashing before her eyes, of Hamilton sitting before her as she held the ring. The ring he had apparently been carrying around since the beginning of the weekend, possibly even longer, she thought.

She wasn't sure why she felt the need to walk away from the scene. It wasn't that she detested the notion of marriage and it wasn't that she thought it to be an archaic ritual, either. She had, after all, been there in full support of Bella and Sean the day they exchanged vows. She reacted the way she did simply because she hadn't expected it.

When most little girls were daydreaming about their future wedding and making faux veils out of kleenex, Jake was being dragged from city to city as her mother made her various theatrical appearances. As a child she usually spent most evenings alone with no one but herself for company in the confines of whichever apartment they happened to be occupying that month.

She had grown accustom to a level of solitude, and it had allowed her the chance to develop her own character and truly discover her place in the world without outside interference. When she got older and began sifting her way through boarding schools she was aware that most of her peers concluded that she, Jacqueline Pratt, was a most unusual girl, yet her individualism was never something she fought, but rather something she embraced.

Happiness, fulfillment; these were never things she hinged on the world's conventions. Her mother had taught her that. Comittment didn't necessarily equate to a ring or a vow; comittment, she thought, was what you made it. She had assumed she and Hamilton had long since come to an unspoken agreement about their life and how they chose to live it. When it came to their relationship and it's many progressions they had always managed to make the weighty decisions together after much consideration and thorough discussions. This - marriage - should be no different, she thought. He'd understand that, surely, or at least she hoped.

''Where are you going?'' Hamilton called out as he jogged up behind her, still shirtless and slightly disheveled.

She stopped in her tracks and turned around in order to answer him face to face. ''I just needed to take a walk, Hamilton, that's all.''

''You're freaking out.''

''I'm not freaking out,'' she said somewhere between a laugh and a scoff.

''Jake, you're totally freaking out. This is what you do when you freak out, you run.''

She mustered a nervous smile, hoping to reassure him, and possibly herself. ''Everything's fine. I just wasn't expecting...that.''

''Nearly getting stepped on by Scout or the ring?''

''Both.'' She shrugged and leaned against a nearby tree in order to compose herself. ''...I don't know what to say. I know what that ring means, or what it's supposed to mean at least, but what are you doing with it?'' Although in her heart she knew it to be false she rambled off the first thought that came to mind. ''Is this about last night when Scout made that crack about us? Are you just trying to prove that you're a man or something?''

''I've been carrying around that ring for weeks. It wasn't just something I picked up this morning.'' He was amused with her apparent shock. ''Just tell me how you feel about the ring?''

''I think that you and I aren't about roles. I think we've always lived outside of the box-''

''I didn't ask what you thought, I asked you what you felt. Tell me what you feel,'' Hamilton urged gently.

She took a few unhurried breaths of air as she approached him and carefully placed her hands on his bare chest. ''Hamilton, when it comes to us, to our life, I don't doubt what we have for one second. Now that I've said that, I want you to know that just because my answer isn't an automatic 'yes' doesn't mean it's an automatic 'no' either.''

He stared blankly, unblinking. ''I don't know what that means.''

''It means I love you, but I've never really bowed to convention and I'm not sure if I'm ready to. I'm not sure we really _need_ to.''

''This, Jake,'' he hurriedly reached down into his pocket to pull out the tiny box and place it between them, ''isn't about bowing to convention.''

''Then what is it about?''

''It's about declaring, declaring to our families, our friends, that the person standing at our side comes before all else.''

''Does New Rawley put something in it's drinking water? I swear, I've never met men in New York who talk like that.''

He gently removed her hands from his chest. ''You say that like my belief in what this ring represents is a foolish thing.''

''It's not, it isn't. I'm just wondering if it's an us thing, Hamilton. We need to talk about it, _together_, and consider the matter cautiously.''

''What's to consider?'' he asked, befuddled. ''You either know or you don't. I've known what I wanted for a long time. I want you to be Mrs. Hamilton Fleming.''

''Oh, is that right? Mrs. Hamilton Fleming?'' Jake raised her eyebrows as her anxiety turned into exasperation. ''This further proves my point that there needs to be a real discussion about our readiness. What makes you think once we got married - if we ever get married - I'd take your name?''

''Why would you not?''

''Because it shouldn't be about ownership,'' she said testily. ''Why should a woman have to submit that part of her own identity? How would you like to take my last name? You wouldn't, because no man would take a woman's last name.''

''If that's what it'd take for you to say yes to me I'd agree to it without a moment's hesitation.''

Jake groaned. ''That's just as sexist as a woman taking a man's name. And anyway, that isn't what I'm saying, and that isn't what I want. I'm trying to make a point.''

''You're trying to make excuses because you're scared,'' he said firmly; frustration slowly started to seep into his tone as his emotions took over completely.

''I'm _not _scared.''

''Then why can't you give me a straight answer?''

''I already did, you just didn't hear it because it wasn't the one you were expecting. Look, if you want to talk about, we will, but not here.'' She waved her hands around, motioning to the lake, the trees, the same small squirrel she could have sworn had followed her from camp. ''We'll wait until we're back in the city, but for now let's just, just not talk about it. Let's just...''

''Let's just what? Forget about it?'' he asked, wounded.

''Yeah, let's do that,'' she said a little too eagerly than she had intended.

A fierce melancholy washed over him as he dropped the ring back into his shorts. ''Fine, Jake. You win.''

She closed her eyes and allowed her head to fall back. ''Hamilton, this isn't about winning. This is about needing a little time to process.''

''At this point if you're not sure about spending your life with me...God, I don't even know what to say to that.''

Before she could say another word he was walking away from her, receding into the wilderness. Still not having digested the shock over the events and the resulting fight she couldn't quite bring herself to walk after him.

Her breath had been taken away when she found the ring, for she knew what it symbolized. He was, in essence, offering to pledge the rest of his days to her. She had thought it only right to carefully and cautiously consider a gesture of this sort simply because it was so meaningful. She wasn't certain if he was incapable of understanding or simply unwilling to do so. Why reward or embrace him with the answer he so obviously wanted of her when he wouldn't allow himself to take her view into consideration, she thought.

He had always possessed an air of intensity about him and she was accustomed to his nature at this point in time. On most occasions she was captivated by his vibrancy and unquestioning devotion, but as thrilling and energizing as his intensity was, in this specific instance she deemed it entirely overwhelming.

She itched to create her own escape and within seconds she was weaving her way through a short beaten path that miraculously led her to the road, only a short distance away from her parked bike and Scout's BMW. Arriving in front of her bike, she then began to pat her hands over her pockets. It was then it donned on her that her keys were still in Hamilton's possession. Weary to continue venturing out into the wilderness alone she started her way back to camp.

The weekend had originally been orchestrated to provide everyone with a fun, light-hearted break from the world and a chance to revisit their youth. She didn't want to dampen the atmosphere for the others, but she did feel the need to share the matter with someone. She quickly ruled Kate Fleming out. Never minding the fact that both of Hamilton's parents were out of town she wasn't sure how one would go about telling their potential mother-in-law that she fled at the sight of the ring. The men were another matter, she barely knew Scout, though she thought him sensible enough, and she trusted Sean and Will, but she felt like the situation called for a female confidant: Bella.

She had been too startled by Scout's intrusion that she hadn't stopped to ask where Bella was, though by the time she arrived back at camp she was relieved to see her female friend had indeed returned with him. She paused, flush against a lining of trees when she noted Bella seemed to be in the middle of an intense, hushed conversation with Scout.

Jake wasn't sure of what she was witnessing, and she certainly wasn't eager to make her presence known. She was momentarily spared from doing so as she heard the voices of Sean and Will coming up behind her. She turned and their faces flashed smiles in greeting, though Sean's expression quickly dimmed as he looked past her, towards the clearing where his wife and Scout whispered quietly to one another.

The flurry of movement that then took place left Jake uneasy. Soon both men were nudging her forward into the center of the site, where they all quickly abandoned her. Will caught Scout's attention and led him off to the edge of camp while Sean asked Bella to escort him into their tent for a private word. As the others scattered Jake stood beside the extinguished campfire.

''Hey, um,'' she nervously spoke to Bella's back, ''after you and Sean do whatever you need to do, I need to borrow you.''

Bella turned to her and scoffed light heartedly. ''Don't tell me you're afraid to go to the bathroom in the woods when it's pure daylight.''

''No, this is important,'' Jake stressed, widening her eyes in panic.

''Hey, if you have to go _that_ badly just get Hamilton to be your look out.'' Bella walked away, ending the conversation in order to follow her husband into their tent.

With no other options Jake exhaled with exaggeration and took a seat in one of the many chairs and attempted to calm herself. She was thankful, though also worried, when she realized that Hamilton was nowhere in sight.

--------------------

Several yards away from camp Will was engaged in a conversation with Scout as they took shelter from the sun under a large tree. Sean had displayed restraint and calm when they had came upon the scene of Scout and Bella quietly and intensely conversing with one another, and Will thought it best to take issue on his childhood friend's behalf.

He placed his hands on his hips and gave Scout a stern look. ''I don't know what that was, man, but it looked like...like the beginning of one of those old Scout-and-Bella conversations where you end up saying something and going too far.''

''No. You got the wrong end of the stick.'' Scout waved a hand dismissively. ''You were the one who dragged me out here this weekend and, what, now you're saying I can't talk to her alone?''

''No, I'm saying you need to be careful. It's one thing for the two of you to sit around shooting the breeze with everyone else, but old habits die hard, and if you start wandering off together, alone-''

''Look, yesterday I said I was okay with being here, with seeing her again and I wanted so much to _mean _it, but I couldn't be entirely sure of it until I was alone with her. Really alone with her. So that's what I was doing, trying to make sure. What's wrong with that?''

''So did you? Make sure, that is.''

Scout's sighed. ''I don't know. How can I after one conversation? Which, by the way, wasn't even about us, or the past. We talked about work, and her kid, and then Grace. In fact when you and Sean found us, Bella and I weren't even talking about feelings for each other or anything like that. It was about Grace.''

Will squinted. He was relieved that Scout genuinely seemed uninterested in rocking the boat between his married friends, but alarmed at where the conversation appeared to be going. ''What about Grace?''

Scout shrugged, confused. ''All she told me was Grace left town. What happened? And when? Tell me it isn't what I think.''

''What exactly do you think?''

''I don't think I want to say. You tell me.''

Unwilling to divulge a story that was not his own, Will simply exhaled and said, ''I was going to yesterday, but ...you know what, it sounds like something Bella would prefer you to hear from her. Regardless, you should be aware that Sean's done a good job of keeping himself in check so far this weekend. Just don't give him a reason to take offense. Okay?''

''I'm not here to make anyone uncomfortable, and Bella and I were just catching up.''

''And what if in the process of catching up you start feeling something for her, again?''

Scout took a gulp of air. ''Like I said yesterday, she has a family. I wouldn't interfere with that. Will, I broke up with someone because I was terrified that there was some tiny dormant part of me that was still in love with Bella, a girl I never even had. I just want to know if I made a mistake. Because yes, there's a possibility that I'm still hung up on her, but there's also a possibility that I'm not. I need to know if that's the case, because if it is I need to make things right for myself.''

''Okay...okay,'' Will was appeased and left it at that. With a sigh he looked over to the center of camp where Jake sat, frazzled and alone. ''What's with her?'' he asked quietly. ''She looks freaked out.''

''Oh, man, you would not believe...''

A large smile swept across Scout's face and he opened his mouth, ready to launch into speech. Before he did, though, something flickered across his expression. His amusement faded and he went silent. Whatever he was about to share he had quickly decided to keep to himself. In an obvious attempt to change the subject Scout clasped his hands together, producing a loud pop, and with false cheer asked, ''How about that hike you were talking about earlier, huh, Will?''

--------------------

Upon seeing Bella and Scout in the midst of what looked to be an emotional exchange Sean's first impulse was to storm over and assert himself between them. As much as he liked to believe he had matured, he still couldn't stop the sudden resurrection of the green-eyed monster within him, but ultimately his rationality prevailed. By now he had learned that rather than flying off the handle, asking Bella directly was the much simpler and more civilized way to go about getting an explanation.

He was now conversing with her in their tent. They were both careful of not letting their voices rise above a whisper as they took to tidying up the sleeping quarters in the low alcove. ''I was just about to tell him about Grace, about her leaving, about what I've been doing since, what _we've_ been doing since,'' Bella explained as she started stacking pillows.

''He wasn't bothering you?'' he asked cautiously.

''I spent an hour with him today, and I can assure you there were no looks of longing exchanged and anyway I thought you said you could handle Scout being here.''

''I can. I am. Or at least I'm trying to,'' he said, slightly flustered. ''I know it's stupid, but I have this little irrational voice in the back of my head that keeps saying 'what if'. I just wonder if you have a voice in your head too asking you the same exact thing.''

Bella winced and stopped her busy work as guilt swept over her. She had once been fickle when it came to her affections, which, for a period in her youth, had wavered between the two men. It had taken her some time to realize her indecision had in turn caused both men to suffer. While she felt a certain degree of remorse for what she had unintentionally inflicted upon Scout, the knowledge of how she had pained Sean weighed on her more so.

It was only after her pilgrimage to Carson to fight for her station did she fully realize that he was the one who truly possessed her heart. When she had walked out of her mother's home that day so many years ago, tearful, distraught and overwhelmed it had been Sean who she immediately turned to and sought comfort from. It had been Sean who she had asked to take her home. In that seemingly insignificant moment she had made the decision that would ultimately shape the rest of her life. A life she loved dearly.

She was intensely dedicated to her garage, yet if there was one thing she was even more passionate about it was her family, and the man now sitting in front of her who had helped her build it. It saddened her to think she was once again, for the first time in a long time, causing him to doubt his place in her life.

''It's just that we work really hard running the garage,'' Sean continued, ''and raising Matthew, and I wish I could give you...more than this.'' He waved to the inside of the tent, to the sleeping bags and their backpacks of belongings.

''Sean, I happen to like this,'' she assured him confidently and waved a hand to the very same items he had previously gestured to.

''That might be partially true, but what happened to the girl who dreamed of...I don't know, trips to Paris and whatnot.''

''Part of that girl's still here,'' she said. ''And you know what, if we really wanted to we could afford a trip to Paris or Italy or any number of places now, but that's all they would be. That's all I would want them to be. Trips. I know Will was desperate to leave, because that's what some people need to do: leave. To find themselves, to figure out who they are and where they need to be. Me? I've always known who I was, and where I wanted to end up. Here, in this life, doing what I do. You're a big part of that.''

She took his hands within hers, soothing him gently with her touch, playing with his thumbs and encouraging the tiny smile that began to form on his face. Comforted by her previous assurances Sean leaned forward in the tent and placed a kiss upon her while gently running his hands through her hair as he had always loved to do.

''I was talking to Scout was because I was curious, I guess. You know I've always felt guilty for what I couldn't give him. I wanted to make sure he was well. That's all it was.'' She ran a finger across his wedding band. ''Though, if you need me to just step back, and let things be I will.''

He shook his head and with a heavy sigh said, ''This isn't the Old Testament, Bella. I can't forbid you from talking to him if you need to, for some reason. I won't tell you what to do, you know that.''

''I do know that, but we're not fifteen anymore. We're married, and you do have a say in this.''

''And I say I trust you. Look if sometime this weekend you feel the need to pull Scout aside and talk to him in order to get something out of your system...well, do what you need to do, and I'll understand.''

She stared at him, totally perplexed. ''You don't have to you know.''

''Yeah...I do,'' he assured her with a nod. ''See, I don't know what this weekend is about for you, but me? I want to show you, show myself that I'm more than I was however many years ago it was when I met him. You do what you need, and I'll handle myself.''

--------------------

Elsewhere Hamilton was stomping through a nearby trail, having decided to take one of the less direct routes back to camp in the hope that with the few, extra minutes it would provide he'd be able to piece together what had just happened between he and Jake.

He had initially assumed her shock was due to Scout's bad timing, but once he followed her, and once their conversation unfolded into a full blown argument he could only conclude she was reacting out of fear, panic. Her overly cautious stance on the matter threw him into his own state of shock and disbelief. He didn't understand her answer. He wasn't even certain she had given him one. All the previous proposal scenarios he had played through in his mind hadn't prepared him for that kind of response, that kind of hesitance.

How could she sweep a gesture of this magnitude under the rug with such ease. How had their playful, clumsy fumbling in the tent turned into a squabble. This, he thought, wasn't what he had in mind for the weekend. The rejection had left him completely unsteady, which was why he had to walk off, to compose himself before eventually heading back to the site.

He raised his head in greeting to Scout and Will and passed them up at the edge of the clearing where they remained, though he was careful to avoid eye contact with Jake as he walked back into the middle of the camp.

''Hamilton,'' she said as she quickly stood from her seat. ''Are you okay?''

''I'm fine.'' He was suddenly self-conscious of his shirtless upper body and took to scanning the area, poking around bags and stray blankets in search of the shirt he had on earlier. ''Do you know where my shirt is?''

''If you're fine why'd you walk off in the middle of a conversation?'' she asked as he forced her to address the back of his head while he continued to search about the area, more flustered than any missing article of clothing would usually lead him to be.

''You told me we should forget about the topic of that very conversation, so what was the point of continuing it?'' he grumbled, broken. ''I left because I had to make a phone call.''

''To who?''

''To the restaurant,'' he answered. ''I had to tell them to cancel our reservation, that I didn't need the private room, or everything else I had arranged to be waiting there for us.''

''You...really planned this thing, huh?'' she inquired, stunned.

''Don't worry, I cancelled it,'' he said morosely. ''Now, really, have you seen my shirt? It's my blue one, with the sleeves cut off. You took it off me and threw it somewhere...''

In a huff he turned around only to see that she had found it while he had been busy avoiding eye contact with her. She offered it to him with an outstretched arm.

''Thank you,'' he said briskly accepting it and slipping it over his head.

''For the time being can we put the matter of the ring on hold?'' she asked. ''Let's just salvage the rest of our time here. We're pretty much stuck in New Rawley for another day and a half.''

''Why?'' Hamilton moaned. ''Why should we even stay for the rest of the weekend? Let's just go home.''

''You'd rather face a barrage of questions from the others as to why we'd be leaving all of a sudden?'' Jake sighed, bringing a hand up to her temple and gently massaging the area. ''Hamilton, I don't want to fight, and I don't want you to feel weird around me.''

''Well, I do,'' he replied. ''How else am I supposed to feel? I shouldn't have even brought the ring this weekend. It would've spared me from humiliating myself.''

''Who said you humiliated yourself?'' she asked softly.

''The fact that you shot me down before I even got the chance to bend down on one knee and ask you properly, that's pretty humiliating right there. God, I even told my parents, and now the next time I talk to them I'll have to explain that my plans for this weekend fell through completely.''

''They know about the ring?''

''Of course they know. I told them. They're my parents. Why shouldn't they know?''

She was dumbfounded. ''Well, of course they should know, that is after you and I have discussed the subject together and figured out where we both stand. So you just started announcing the engagement before I was even clued in? Who else knows? Do the guys know?''

''No, they don't,'' he said stiffly. ''I was hoping that after all was said and done we'd come back to camp, tell them and celebrate together. With the people that matter to us. But what does it even matter now? You already said no.''

''I _didn't_ say no, Hamilton.''

''Well, you didn't say yes, either, Jake.''

Her eyelashes fluttered rapidly. ''What, and you expect me to say 'yes' after you throw a fit?''

''I didn't throw a fit. I reacted passionately,'' he proclaimed in a whisper. ''I've always been the one walking after you, Jake. I was the one who walked into that bathroom Cotillion night and kissed you. I was the one who followed you to New York. I've constantly taken leaps of faith for you...I don't think it's so much to ask that you take one for me.''

''Excuse me? You're telling me that I _owe you_ a 'yes'?''

''You know that isn't what I meant...I meant...I don't know what I meant,'' he huffed. Aggravated and uncertain he turned away from her once more.

Unwilling to conduct a conversation with his back turned she sighed and wearily threw in the towel. ''Right. If you can't look at me and you won't listen to me...I'm not going to force you to, Hamilton.''

They both went silent as neither of them were willing to budge from their respective stance. He stared at the lake intensely, and behind him she sat herself back down in a chair. And this is how they remained, quiet and dejected until a couple of their companions walked over.

''We should all go on that hike now,'' Will, completely oblivious to the tension in the air, bellowed as he and an understandingly cautious Scout walked over towards them. ''We can throw some water and supplies in a few backpacks and take one of the trails into the woods.''

Before they could answer, Bella and Sean emerged from their tent and joined them all in the center of the camp. The blond couple were clearly eager to get some fresh air and shake off the gravity of their own conversation and voiced that they were game for a jaunt into the wilderness. Jake and Hamilton, on the other hand, looked less than excited to engage in any sort of group activity and quickly mumbled their objections. It was only after several failed attempts to get Bella alone did Jake agree to participate, as did Hamilton after much cajoling from the rest of the men.

Meanwhile, in Scout's mind, he actually found himself pleased with the idea of a group activity. As long as it spared him a confrontation with Sean he wasn't going to object. Of course, the other man had seemed unruffled, pacified since exiting the tent, which left Scout perplexed.

Still, when the group disbursed around the camp grounds in preparation he found himself drifting over to Jake who, along with Bella, began preparing a couple of backpacks with supplies. They went about retrieving two half-empty bags and emptied out a few articles of clothing from each of them before packing them with water and snacks, as well as with items from the first-aid kit Bella and Hamilton had purchased the day before.

''Hey, Calhoun,'' Jake said, ''Why don't you go over and give the guys a hand?''

Judging by her awkward tone she obviously wanted to get rid of him so she could talk to Bella alone, but Scout wasn't all that eager to push his presence onto Sean at the moment.

''Nah,'' he said, looking at the other men who stood several yards away as they looked over a piece of paper. ''They're just looking over some ancient looking townie map written out in crayons or something. I'd just be in their way.''

''But uh, isn't this packing, you know,'' it looked like Jake was in pain when she said, ''women's work?''

He threw a cautious look at Bella before asking the dark haired girl, ''Are you mad at me? Is this about earlier?''

''What happened earlier?'' Bella asked, eyeing them both.

''Nothing,'' Jake answered her female friend, then turned to Scout. ''And no, it isn't.''

''What happened earlier?'' Bella asked again.

''Nothing,'' said Scout gently. ''I just...well, I walked into the tent at a really bad time and I saw more of Jake than Hamilton would probably ever want anyone to see.''

''You're just begging me to punch you in the neck aren't you?'' Jake asked dryly.

Bella raised an eyebrow and grinned at each of them in turn. ''Is that all?'' she asked, resuming the packing of the bag in her hands and then, once finished, beginning her work on Jake's who had stopped her task in order to glare at Scout.

''That was bound to happen to someone this weekend,'' Bella carried on nonchalantly. ''We're in pretty close quarters. So Scout saw you in your unmentionables. Whatever, big deal, Jake. Hey, I've seen you, too. Remember that time I helped you change clothes in front of the gas station?''

Scout laughed inwardly. Bella, though, put a halt to his chuckling when she announced she was finished with the packing of their supplies.

''Great,'' chirped Scout, who took the bags from her hands and placed them into the arms of Jake. ''Why don't you go give those to the guys and let me have a few minutes alone with Bella?''

''What? No,'' said Jake, placing the bags back into Scout's hands. ''Why don't you go give them to the guys and give me a few minutes with Bella?''

''Why don't I take them to the guys,'' suggested a flustered Bella, taking the bags from his hands, ''and we can save both conversations for later, after we get this hike over with.''

With a nod Bella dismissed herself from them and headed back over to the group of men who were carrying on their own conversation. Scout watched her go, and then he turned his attention over to Jake. Unlike his own, her eyes weren't on Bella, but rather Hamilton. Scout couldn't help but notice the awkward glance between the couple, neither could he dismiss Jake's nervy, distraught demeanor.

He had been quite surprised with himself when he hadn't immediately ran his mouth to Will about the events he had literally stumbled into earlier, but Jake and Hamilton had put him so at ease with their familial like joshing in the tent the previous night that he couldn't just turn around and discuss something they had asked him not to. He had seen the ring in the tent, and yet the couple hadn't returned from their walk beaming with good news which led him to believe something had gone awry between them.

''What happened to Scout's honor?'' she asked him at his side.

''I thought it was only the ring you didn't want me blabbing about,'' he said light heartedly. ''Listen...are we cool?'' He sat on the lid of the ice box and began rubbing the back of his neck. ''I know we've been sniping at each other since we got here, but it really is all in good fun. And that trying to get you to leave thing a couple of minutes ago, that wasn't meant to step on your toes. I was just hoping to finish a conversation with Bella.''

''We're fine, don't worry about it. I really needed to talk to her about something too.''

''I take it something happened between you and the missus.''

''Everything's great. Just great. The Jake of yesteryear might have just ditched the moment something embarrassing, awkward, or scary occurred, but the Jake of today knows how to man-up.''

This was their first serious exchange since the group's arrival, and although Scout couldn't say why, he felt an almost brotherly concern for her. She and Hamilton had extended an olive branch to him the night before, and he thought it only polite to try to do the same.

''Yeah, Will does that talking in third person thing, too, and it's usually a sign something is wrong. Granted, my knowledge of how the human mind works only extends to a couple of chapters in 'Introduction to Psychology', but I saw the ring and judging from-''

''Scout,'' she said firmly, halting his hurried speech. ''I don't want to talk about what you saw, or what you think you saw. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but... it's really none of your business. Please.''

She held up a hand, signaling him to let it be, and so he respectfully quieted himself. She gave him a grateful look and took a seat beside him on the cooler. Together they sat in silence and watched the rest of the group converse with each other.

Seconds later, though, without turning his head to her he felt compelled to ask, ''So, what was that about Bella helping you out of your clothes? Did a pillow-fight ensue shortly after? Was this back in the day or a recent occurrence or...?''

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jake turn to him and stare, silent and unamused.

''Too soon to start joking around again, huh?'' he asked and wrinkled his nose in embarrassment.

''Way too soon,'' she answered plaintively.

------------------------

After a brief period of preparation the group started marching away from camp with Will and Hamilton at the front of the pack. Both men lugged a backpack full of supplies while the others shouldered nothing and remained empty-handed, save for bottles of water or in Scout's case a tall stick he had found along the way. For the most part everyone kept silent as they traveled, keeping their thoughts and worries to themselves. It was only twenty minutes into the hike that they were forced to come to a halt in their pathway.

''Okay, guys, the trail splits in two here,'' Will said loudly as he turned to address the group. ''They intersect again, but one is significantly more difficult than the other. Now, the right trail might leave you screaming for your mother.''

''And the left?'' asked Bella.

Will tilted his head in consideration before adding, ''Scout could probably play hop scotch down the entire length of the left trail without breaking a sweat. That said, it's fairly breezy.''

''Ha-ha. You know what? This city slicker can tough it out,'' Scout defended himself from the playful jab.

''Yeah, right,'' Jake said as she stepped forward and took it upon herself to begin leading the group. ''Let's all just head left.''

''Hold on.'' Hamilton stood in place and held out an arm in order to bar them from following her. ''I say if we're going to hike, why don't we do it right? I mean, let's break a sweat here, guys.''

''You all heard Will,'' said Jake as she turned back and reasoned. ''Let's just go left and get this over with.''

''Or we can go right and challenge ourselves,'' Hamilton casually suggested with a backwards glance to the rest, who remained silent as they mulled over their options.

Jake countered his argument calmly. ''Or maybe we want to take a minute to think things through before automatically agreeing to walk into unknown terrain.''

''Maybe we'd all like to see what we're made of,'' Hamilton floated the idea smugly.

''Who's to say we're prepared for that kind of arduous trek?'' asked Jake.

''Who says we're not prepared? We're completely prepared,'' Hamilton said a little more heatedly. ''Is it possible that you, Jake, are afraid to go down _my_ path?''

Jake sighed with frustration. ''Why don't _you_ stop pressuring me to choose your path and let me decide _where_ I want to go and _when_ I want to go there?''

''Since when have I ever tried to make decisions for you?''

''Uh, since two seconds ago apparently. You're the one getting huffy because I'm not automatically bending to your will.'' She turned away slightly and muttered, ''God, you're such a drama queen.''

''Oh,'' Hamilton laughed falsely, ''yesterday I was a princess and now I'm a queen all of a sudden?''

Jake raised a shoulder and with nonchalance added, ''Queen is, technically, a higher ranking title than princess. You should be pleased.''

''Oh, I am. See how I rejoice?'' He pointed to his deadpan expression.

The two then went silent but looked to be involved in some kind of staring contest while the others stood frozen and confused by the exchange between the previously warm, joyful couple, who were now obviously shielding a much deeper matter with a petty tiff.

Sensing some sort of underlying tension Scout shot a distressing look to the others as he asked, ''Ummmm....why don't we split up?''

Picking up on the cue, Sean quickly piped up. ''Yeah. A few of us can go left, the rest can go right, and then we can meet up where the trails intersect. There should be a small clearing with a big rock.''

''You can't miss it,'' added Will. ''Townie kids trek out there all the time to spray paint their names on it. We'll meet there, recoup and then head back together.''

''Everyone game?'' Bella asked, looking for any objections.

The group murmured amongst themselves and found they were all in agreement over splitting up. Bella and Sean claimed they got enough exercise chasing a four year old around at home and wanted to take it easy. They moved over to Jake, who looked pleased that they had chosen her preferred route over Hamilton's. Meanwhile, Scout and Will decided they were up for a challenge and moved towards Hamilton and his choice of trail.

''Then it's settled, we split up,'' Hamilton declared as he handed Jake his backpack of supplies so as to provide her group with a few necessities in case of emergency. ''I'll see you at the intersection.''

''See you then,'' she said with false glee as she slipped her arms into the shoulder straps.

After a few brief exchanges she was leading Bella and Sean away, further into the wild mass of foliage. Wordlessly Hamilton turned to Scout and Will and tilted his head to the second pathway, which he quickly started leading them towards.

--------------------

Some time later the three men were making their way through the more challenging, rugged trail, brushing their way past an abundance of trees and bushes. While Scout and Will looked to be exerting more of themselves than they had prepared to Hamilton was keenly taking advantage of the opportunity to physically work out his mental frustrations. He was even gaining speed despite the rough terrain. The sounds of the wild were somewhat refreshing, yet the leaves bristling about underneath his feet and the birds chirping above his head failed to distract him from the matters pressing at his mind: Jake, the ring and her reaction to it.

The whole scenario had left him feeling more humiliated than angry. He had been so certain of his own readiness that he hadn't considered that hers would be an issue. After all, he thought, marriage was a natural part of the equation for life. A ring, and the promise of that one, ultimate bond was a part of his master design for his future. Now the question loomed: was it a part of Jake's?

He snapped out of his reverie when Scout began to whimper behind him. ''Oh my God. No one said this trail would lead us uphill. Can we please take a break?''

The request was quickly seconded by Will. Hamilton conceded and turned around to his two companions, who were eagerly drinking from plastic bottles as they seated themselves against a couple of trees. He sat himself a few feet away in a shaded area and reached for the granola bar and water bottle Will handed him from his pack.

''My knees are going to pay for this next week,'' Scout said weakly and dumped a few droplets of water onto himself.

''You sound like a crotchety sixty year old,'' Will retorted and motioned at the tree limb Scout still insisted on carrying. ''And your cane isn't helping your image any.''

''It's not a cane, it's a walking stick, and don't make fun of it.'' Scout laughed through his exhaustion. He was completely out of his element, yet he looked to finally be enjoying the camping experience and all of it's challenges. ''I haven't been subjected to these kinds of conditions for several years. Nowadays, I heavily rely on elevators, escalators and modern means of transportation. This, though, is quite a workout and I have to admit it feels good to work up a sweat like the old days.''

''So, Ham,'' Will said with a mouthful of granola as he turned the conversation away from Scout and onto himself, ''have _you_ gotten a chance to read my novel yet?''

''I'm on chapter three,'' Hamilton replied and stared down at his snack. Sadly, for once, he didn't feel like eating.

''Really?'' Will chirped excitedly, swallowing his snack hurriedly in order to inquire further. ''What do you think of it? How do you like the protagonist? And the overall theme?''

Uninterested in the topic or chattering in general Hamilton merely raised a shoulder and remained silent. If Will had asked him at any other time, he would've smiled and offered the taller man a white lie to appease him, but after dealing with Jake, and the aftermath of their disagreement he was in no mood to coddle anyone. All he wanted to do was sit and sort his emotions out privately. Of course, he knew that was going to be rather hard to do when a flustered Will heaved a heavy sigh at his previous unanimated response and chucked his water bottle into their backpack.

''You know, guys,'' Will fumed, ''every day I go home to an ever growing pile of rejection letters from publishing agencies. I've come to expect their indifference, but, damn, has _anyone here_ even bothered to finish reading my book?''

''Hey, I'm reading it. Ham's reading it. We're all reading it,'' said Scout, thrown by the unexpected shift in Will's attitude and tone. ''What's the problem?''

''The problem is you've all had months to read it, and so far no one really seems all that bothered to,'' Will huffed. ''I was hoping this weekend someone would take me aside and say 'good work, Will', 'those publishers are wrong, Will', 'I believe in you, Will'.''

''Oh my god, he's talking in third person,'' Scout quietly remarked to no one in particular.

''But apparently that's too much to ask from any of you,'' the taller man continued.

''Look, man,'' Hamilton said defensively, breaking his silence and interrupting Will's self-pitying ramblings. ''I'm not trying to start a fight with you. I just don't want to talk, about anything, period. And does it really matter if we've read your book or not?''

''What does that mean?'' Will asked.

''He doesn't mean anything,'' said Scout, trying to diffuse what was turning into a heated exchange.

''I mean,'' Hamilton said, ''you may have changed everyone's names and a few details, but when you get down to it your book is basically Life at Rawley: The Will Krudski Story, and I was there. I'm not exactly on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens to you at the end.''

''Oh, I'm sorry,'' Will said, offended. ''My life must seem rather dull compared to yours, Ham. You're probably used to a little more excitement considering your own, what with all the sexual confusion and cross-dressing.''

Hamilton rolled his eyes, completely unfretted by the remark. ''That was one incident nearly ten years ago. Get some new material, Will. Like I haven't heard it all before. Why are you so bent out of shape over this?''

''Why am I bent out of shape?'' Will asked bitterly. ''Let's see, I call up some of my oldest friends and ask them to join me here this weekend because lately I've been down in the dumps-''

''When aren't you down in the dumps?'' Hamilton moaned. ''You really want to know what I think about your book? I think why would anyone want to read about your life if you haven't done anything with it?''

Will let loose an airy laugh and scoffed, ''Whoa. You don't think I've done anything? I got myself into Rawley when I had everything working against me. I busted my ass in school to get out of this town and go to college, which, by the way, I put myself through. That's a lot more than other people could say.''

''Yeah, it is,'' Hamilton agreed. ''But what did you do after that? You sat yourself behind a desk like a man in his twilight years and jumped right into writing some, some book where you did nothing but revisit your past.''

''Since when did you become a literary critic?'' Will countered.

''Both of you chill,'' Scout interjected. Whereas the New Rawley air had begun to influence him positively, it seemed to have an adverse affect on the other men. ''Where the hell did this come from? Yesterday we were all sitting in front of the fire, laughing. I thought if anyone would crack this weekend it'd be _me_.''

Without warning Will stood and slipped their backpack over one of his shoulders, preparing to depart the area. ''Tell you what, you guys can finish the hike on your own.''

''You can't just leave. This hike was _your_ idea, man,'' Scout said.

''Well, all of a sudden I'm not in the mood,'' Will said combatively before he began walking backwards in the direction in which they had previously came from. ''I'll see you later. I'll be back at camp, having a beer, laying under the sun and musing about my terribly uninteresting life.''

And with that both Hamilton and Scout watched Will turn and march off down the path until he eventually went out of sight. Scout was quick to stand and call out to him, but the taller man didn't bother to shout a reply or stroll back. After a few moments Scout turned back to Hamilton, who was now even more flustered than before.

''Are we going after him or what?'' asked Scout.

''You can follow him if you like,'' Hamilton said. He was certain he'd find a later time to sort his tiff out with Will, but for now he wasn't going to waste what little energy he had on the matter. ''Or you can let him cool off by himself for awhile.''

Scout scrunched his face up and looked to be considering his options while he glanced across the vast wilderness surrounding them. ''And you know the woods like the back of your hand, right?'' he asked, eyebrows raised. ''We won't get lost without Will?''

''It's as easy as following the yellow brick road...Toto,'' Hamilton sighed and stood up, feeling rested enough to continue on through their path that would lead them to the others. ''You coming with me?''

Scout looked reluctant, but after a few seconds of indecision he said, ''Lead the way, Dorothy.''

--------------------

Elsewhere on the less demanding trail, Jake and Bella were leisurely strolling ahead of Sean, who was temporarily preoccupied with Jake's iPod. She had been all too eager to pull it from their bag and hand it off for him in the hope that he'd busy himself with it while she conducted a little girl talk with her friend. Thankfully, he took the hint and slowed his walk to allow the women some space to converse with what little privacy they could manage considering their environment.

''He asked you to marry him?!'' Bella whispered intensely after she was filled in on the matter.

Jake flapped her hand from side to side, signaling Bella to speak more quietly. ''He didn't ask me to marry him. It didn't even get to that point. I found the ring and freaked out,'' Jake said after throwing a cautious glance to the man behind them.

''You freak out? What?'' Bella squeaked with obvious sarcasm. ''Why, I've never heard of you doing such a thing.''

''Hey, I don't freak out _that_ often.''

''You called Hamilton a drama queen, but face it, that title is more fitting of you. You came freaking out at me when your teacher, Finn, somehow caught on to you-''

''In my defense that freak out was completely warranted.''

''You freaked out that same night at noises in the creepy abandoned cabin we found.''

''You say that like you weren't as equally scared as I was. And by the way, we never cleared up the matter of what your head was doing in Will's lap that night by the fire.''

''You're changing the subject why? Because you're in the beginning stages of a freak out,'' Bella deduced. ''And Will's like my brother, don't even go there. Now, why are you hesitating with Hamilton?''

''Whose side are you on?'' Jake droned and let her head limply fall back.

''Neither. Both. You're not children. There shouldn't be 'sides'. I'm just asking why run away from the idea?''

''Whoa now, how do you know I ran away?''

''Call it a hunch,'' said Bella, slapping a thin tree branch out of her way. ''It's obvious you didn't react positively, otherwise this conversation would be about china patterns and not your tendency for dramatics.''

''I don't give a damn about china patterns. And what was I supposed to do?'' Jake tugged on a plant, breaking off a piece of it in passing and examining it in her hand.

''Kiss him, tell him you love him and invite us all to Vegas to watch you two elope?''

''I mean you saw that back there,'' Jake waved a hand, referring to the exchange that occurred moments earlier at the fork in the trail, ''He was throwing a fit. What burns me up the most is, god, he looked so hot doing it. Whatever, that's beside the point.''

''Okay, so what'd you end up saying?''

''I told him we needed to talk about it together, like every other major decision we've come across and then he stomped off. How does he expect me to say yes to him after that?''

''Do you want to say yes to him? I mean, I know you're all about non-conformity, but what's so wrong with the institution of marriage?''

''Absolutely nothing. You and Sean have found what works for you, and that's great. And hey, there's totally the possibility that it's something that'll work for me too, but I'd like to come to that conclusion on my own. I don't want to be put into a corner and boxed into it. That isn't who I am and he, of all people, should know that.''

''If you ask me wires probably got crossed. When you overreact you can sound a little harsh even if you don't mean to. And you have to remember Hamilton's always been sensitive, especially when it comes to you. He bought a ring; you freaked at the sight of it. Of course he's going to feel rejected and hurt on some level.''

''I wasn't rejecting him, though.''

''That might not have been your intention, but it's his perception.''

At a loss, Jake scuffed one of her sneakers against the ground, pushing aside leaves. She gripped the shoulder straps of her backpack and calmed herself before turning to Bella. ''I'm sorry for the dramatics, or whatever you called them. I didn't mean to dump all of that on you. Especially seeing as how you and Sean probably have some stuff going on too.''

''Why do you say that?''

''You, Scout, and what looked to be frantic whispering between the two of you. I said you guys should talk, not get all intense and secretive. What was that about by the way?''

''It's...complicated.''

''You're still using that line?'' Jake laughed, relieved to be able to dwell on something other than her own situation. ''Come on, Bella.''

''What? There's nothing to confess here,'' Bella said quickly and confidently. ''I'm guessing to anyone coming onto the scene it may have looked like Scout and I were talking about something of an intimate nature, and we were in a way, but not in the romantic sense at all. We're just catching up like you said we should.''

''Okay,'' Jake said, prepared to leave it at that and not pry.

Sean choose this moment to speak again and remind them of his presence. ''You know,'' he shouted ahead at them, ''for a supposed bad ass, Jake, I was expecting an edgier collection of music.''

Jake looked back at him and smiled faintly. ''Sorry I didn't have any Iron Maiden, man.''

''By the way, who the heck are The Getaway People and why are they so insistent that I get a little love?'' he asked.

He jogged up and positioned himself between them as they carried on walking. While he placed an arm around Bella and allowed her to rest her head just beneath his neck he used his free hand to ruffle Jake's hair, much to her displeasure.

''Thank you for that,'' she said dryly, soothing her hair back in place.

---------------------

Meanwhile Will arrived back at camp grounds and quickly tossed off his backpack. He paused of course when he realized that in his flustered state he had taken it, essentially leaving his friends without supplies. He tried not to feel badly about ditching the guys, and anyway he figured they'd be fine once they met up with Sean and the women. Besides, he thought, Hamilton and Scout could manage to do without, especially after the bust up that occurred between them earlier.

Hamilton's remark was the straw that broke the camel's back, and Scout had just sat there as if in agreement with the less than stellar 'review' of the book. Will had been the one to pull the weekend together, the one to call and coordinate, and he thought the others would've surely noted his discontent and offered him a few kind, encouraging words of support. It hadn't exactly happened like he thought it would, but then neither had his life.

He wasn't penning the next great American novel, but rather churning out text for brochures and fluff pieces for magazines about rustic furniture. It wasn't a bad way to make a living, yet he knew he was capable of more, which was probably the most frustrating thing of all. Not only did the publishing world have little interest, but his friends, some of his oldest, seemed they were too busy to even finish reading it. At least, that's what Hamilton had said.

Will went over to the cooler and opened it. The large chunks of ice that were in it the previous day had since melted. Now all that remained was about five inches of freezing cold water which he forced himself to reach into in order to dig out a beer. He popped the top and took a sip, hating the fact that there was some truth to his friend's statement. While the others had graduated from adolescence and embraced their respective callings and passions, Will found himself sitting behind a desk, hammering out tales from his youth. As the others began moving forward into adulthood, he began to dwell more and more on his childhood, his past in Rawley.

After learning about his readmission into the school he had decided that it had been too close a call, that at any moment any number of things could go wrong resulting in him ending back at Edmond High. The only thing he could do to guarantee otherwise was to walk the straight and narrow, to focus everything on his studies, which he did. While the habit had helped him through high school and later college, it really didn't do him any good when he was finally finished with schooling and out in the real world. The simple truth was that as far as life went, as far as experience went he knew he couldn't honestly say he had seen himself through a proper adventure that he could call his own.

He had never done anything as daring as Jake's Rawley stunt, and neither did he think he would ever have the gall that Hamilton had to fall for someone completely, regardless of their gender. He also had to admit that while he had experienced a couple of break-ups, he had never fully given his heart over to anyone as Scout had to Bella long ago. Even if it had been left broken, it was an experience. One of the many Will had allowed himself to miss out on.

He had never given up the ground beneath his feet, never thrown caution to the wind. He was so intent on proving his genius to the world at large that he overlooked the fact that as he sat there safely behind his desk, typing away, the world at large was passing him by completely.


	4. Chapter 4

''Who else was in that movie?'' Scout asked out of nowhere, directing his question to the sky rather than Hamilton who walked at his side.

They two men had taken to sharing the one remaining bottle of water they had between them as they walked their trail in silence. Eventually, after several minutes, the boredom got to the shorter man who then broke the lull by trying to name the main characters of The Wizard of Oz. Unfortunately for Hamilton, he was stuck.

''There was Dorothy, Toto, the Tin Man. And what was that other guy made out of, weeds, straw? Straw, it was straw. He was Scarecrow. Who else? There was someone else.''

Hamilton, meanwhile, clenched his jaw before offering, ''If I tell you, will you please quiet down for a little while?''

Scout shrugged, indifferent.

''The Cowardly Lion,'' Hamilton said.

Scout made a thoughtful noise at the completion of the character list, but didn't make nice on the silence and continued to talk. ''Gotta tell you, I don't mind that Will took off with our water, or our first aid kit, but did he have to take my bug spray with him?'' he asked, slapping a small insect that rested on his forearm.

''Did we not just make a deal to be quiet?'' Hamilton asked wearily. ''And are you seriously still carrying that dumb stick around?''

''Yes, I am, and well, what else is there to do other than talk?'' Scout lifted his walking stick and pointed it upwards, reminding him of their surroundings which consisted of nothing but trees, dirt and sky. ''Will's writing can be bland at times, but, uh, it isn't so bad that you needed to give him that verbal smack-down back there. Why don't you tell me why you really snapped at him?''

''Maybe I was offended by his overuse of similes in his precious novel,'' Hamilton said monotonously, eyes set straight ahead of him.

''You're probably closer with Sean or Bella or whatever,'' Scout bumbled on, ''but if you want to talk about anything, I have ears.''

''Yeah, but you also have a mouth and from what I remember back in the day a rather big one at that. And anyway, there's nothing I need to talk about.''

''Kitten's got claws,'' quipped Scout, who then quickly turned serious. ''Look, if you really want me to shut up, I will. But all I know is all day yesterday there was, like, little cartoon hearts hovering above you and Jake, and today...not so much. You don't have to tell me anything, but you might want to vent to someone because from what _I _remember back in the day every time you get upset you start doing this weird, intense clenchy jaw thing.''

Hamilton immediately placed a hand over his jaw line and felt the tension.

''If you ask me,'' Scout added, ''that can't be good for your teeth. For the sake of your molars you might want to look into couple's counseling.''

''Jake and I...there's no way we'll ever need that, no matter how things are.''

Hamilton turned to Scout at his side and contemplated. The shorter man had obviously seen the ring and had an inkling as to why he and Jake were in none to joyous moods. It was true he was closer to the others in the group, yet somehow he thought that would make it even more difficult to confide in them, to bare his emotions freely, to swallow his pride and admit his own embarrassment. He didn't want pity, he wanted honesty. With a failed engagement under his belt he thought Scout might have perspective.

Hamilton wasn't at all certain why he asked, ''You were engaged, right?''

Scout coughed, looking thrown by the sudden topic. ''Uh...yeah. Once.''

''And it ended?

''Yeah,'' he said somberly. ''It did.''

''Did...did it hurt?''

Scout blinked rapidly, growing more uncomfortable, but answering nonetheless. ''Of course it hurt. I cared about her. I cared about her a lot.''

''Well, if you loved her, why didn't you just marry her? What was so hard about saying I do? I mean, if you can't say it, and Jake can't say it-''

''Is that what she said? That she couldn't do it?''

''Not exactly, but it's what she was getting at. See, when a woman says 'this relationship needs to grow' what she really means is 'I'm ready for us to move in together'. And, like, when a woman says 'You'd make such a good father one day' what she really means is 'I'm ready to pick out nursery furniture'. I get women, right? But, okay, when a woman says 'is this an us thing' what the hell does that mean?''

Scout burst out laughing. ''God, Ham. It's a good thing you're pretty, because when it comes to the opposite sex you're impaired. Alright, according to what you've told me she didn't exactly rule it out. Correct?''

''No, she didn't, but she wasn't exactly embracing the idea either. She was just being classic Jake, pensive control-freak Jake.''

''As long as she didn't actually shoot you down then why throw a fit just yet? Anyway, why exactly are you surprised by it? From what you told everyone last night you thought she was a boy when you fell for her. Most people, myself included, would be tempted to make fun of you because of this.''

''If you're leading into some big, elaborate gay joke I'm really not in the mood to hear it.''

''My point is it obviously wasn't the really nice packaging which we see today that you initially fell for, and that says something in itself.''

''It probably says I was a very confused teenage boy.''

''They may have been wrapped up in boy gear, but above all else it says you fell for her personality, quirks and tendencies. The good, the bad, the bizarre. If those are the very things that drew you in, why fault her for them now? You say this is 'classic Jake', and, okay, if that's the case, shouldn't you already be understanding of her nature.''

''What?'' Hamilton asked, confused.

Scout sighed and then began to put it in much simpler terms. ''You fell for Jake because she was different and off center and that got your attention. She's still different, still off center, right? You can't be mad at her for that, because that's just who she is and you knew that beforehand.''

Hamilton clenched his jaw yet again as he gave it thought. He had hoped Scout's ''unbiased'' view would somehow favor his side of the argument, though he was now realizing how rashly he had reacted, how coldly he had rebuffed her explanation, how empty he felt doing so. He was still frustrated with her roundabout answer, but he supposed she wouldn't be who she was if she had just given in to whim simply to please him. This was always who she was and in his excitement he had overlooked that fact.

''What are you, a pop psychologist?'' Hamilton asked, about as animated as a wet rag.

''Of course when all is said and done,'' Scout started again nonchalantly, ''I do say Jake would be crazy not to want to get hitched to a guy like you.''

''You-you think?'' he asked, hopeful.

''Sure. We're talking twenty-four hour maid service, home cooked meals; the girl has it made. She'd be a fool to pass that up. Hell, if she turns you down, I'll marry you. You know how to iron, right?''

The playful jab brought a smile to Hamilton's face and for a moment his grief subsided. It was as if Scout was trying to comfort him in much in the same way he and Jake had done so for him the previous evening. For Hamilton had come to New Rawley with a buoyant disposition, which had ultimately, and surprisingly, turned weary. It was clear to him that Scout was starting to experience the very same shift in emotions, albeit in the opposite order.

--------------------

Scout and Hamilton moved along for another hour and experienced only one slight mishap before they eventually encountered Sean, Bella and Jake lounging about and admiring the scenery in a small clearing where the trails intersected. Sean did a double take when he noticed Hamilton awkwardly hopping into the area with assistance from Scout. Quickly he rose, as did his two female companions.

''Dude, what happened to your leg?'' the blond man asked.

''Scout happened, that's what,'' Hamilton said, trying to laugh but failing that as he walked past them and plopped himself down near a large stone nearby, situating himself in order to lean against it. ''Not even five minutes ago we were making our way up an incline and Calhoun over here was goofing off with his cane-''

''Walking stick,'' Scout interjected bashfully.

''Which he wouldn't leave behind,'' Hamilton continued. ''I ended up tripping over it. I landed funny, I guess. It doesn't feel like anything serious, but I could use an icepack.''

''Didn't you guys have any in your backpack?'' asked Bella.

''And where's Will?'' Jake spoke up.

''He left us and went back to camp,'' Scout informed them. ''He started going off about his book and how no one supports him. He was talking in third person, guys. The boy looked like he was having a serious meltdown.''

Sean and Bella looked at each other knowingly, fully aware of what that meant when it concerned Will. Awkwardness aside, they busied themselves conversing with Scout about their mutual friend and his state of mind.

Jake, meanwhile, moved past them. With the one remaining backpack in hand she went to kneel at Hamilton's side. Earlier he had been all too eager to combat her stance, but now he was anxious to speak to her, to mend. Of course, he wasn't at all certain she'd even be up to talking to him for awhile after their last spat so he was surprised when she retrieved an ice pack for him and even broke the tube inside, activating it. He took it and caught her eye, silently thanking her for the ability to momentarily put their previous squabble aside and assist him.

''Does this hurt?'' she poked at his ankle cautiously.

He gasped loudly and with a girlish whimper, but he immediately cleared his throat and added in his most masculine tone, ''I mean no, not at all. Didn't feel a thing.''

''Right,'' she said and visibly tried to fight a smile from her face. Obviously she was willing to help him, but wasn't about to act as if their argument hadn't taken place. ''So how was your trail?''

''Tough. Bumpy,'' he answered. ''Yours?''

''Easy. Uneventful.''

''You didn't have to...you know,'' he nodded downwards, to his leg and her hand which laid atop it.

''I know, but I wanted to,'' she said quietly. ''I'm certainly not about to start cooing over you like the heroine in some cliché romance novel, Hamilton. You banged up your ankle; I have a backpack with first-aid supplies. You need a hand, and I just happen to have two. Believe it or not underneath all this snark I have a heart.''

He stared at her, unblinking. ''Who said you didn't have a heart?''

''Well, you were pretty much acting like I didn't have one earlier.''

His eyes darted over towards the group a few yards away, who were still involved in their own conversation and seemed to be paying very little attention to them. ''I just thought that this would be different. I wanted this to be different,'' he explained.

''Why?'' she asked. There was no frustration in her tone, though, simply curiosity. ''I don't understand...I don't get why anything has to change. I mean, I'm happy with us and I thought you were too.''

''I am. I'm happy with you. That's the whole point of the ring: I'm happy, which is why I want more.''

She was happy and wanted nothing to change; he was happy and wanted everything to change. They went silent with the mutual realization that the relationship itself was as healthy as ever. They were both committed, but simply had vastly different ideas about what committment entailed.

''And anyway, even if I wanted to change something about us...well, not that I mind them, but we wouldn't need a giant group to celebrate with in order to cement anything. And not that I don't appreciate it, but what made you think I'd need a scene, a restaurant, formality.''

''I guess I wanted to make a big deal about it. I know they don't mean anything to you, but they do to me. Those big romantic gestures; I'm that kinda guy. And after all these years I thought it'd be nice to follow the norm, for once in our life. Why can't we do what everyone else does?''

''We're not everyone else,'' she said calmly, clearly lacking the energy or will to argue anymore.

At a loss for words all he could do was watch her join the others standing about. She pried Scout's 'walking stick' away from him and tossed it aside into a nearby bush. The shorter man lowered his head like an admonished child, crestfallen. Sean and Bella laughed in response, Hamilton, on the other hand, could only muster a faint smile at Jake.

After a short discussion the group decided that it was best to wait for his discomfort to subside before heading back to camp. Until then they sat themselves in a semi-circle, resting and snacking on what was left of their food supply. Sean pulled a bag of odd looking snacks from the backpack and handed a piece off to everyone, who then bit into it, eager.

''I packed these earlier, but I wasn't sure what they were,'' realized Bella.

''Yeah, what is this?'' Jake asked, cautiously chewing.

''Deer jerky,'' answered Sean.

This resulted in everyone but him turning their bodies slightly away from each other to expel their mouthfuls onto the dirt behind them.

''Well, I like it,'' Sean said nonchalantly, unaffected by their disgust. He took the bag of snacks and stuffed it into his pocket.

Having recovered from her coughing fit Jake turned back and shook her head at him. ''How does that even work? Does Bella run them over and you just, what, eat them?''

''I'll eat marshmallows off the ground-'' began Hamilton.

''And he has. I've seen him do it,'' added Scout.

''But even I have my limitations. Deer jerky? Ew,'' sputtered Hamilton, displeased. ''It's like eating Bambi, man.''

''So what did you and Will get into?'' Bella asked him as she tried to wash the taste out of her mouth with a swig of water. ''Scout told me you two started in on each other.''

''I don't want to talk about it,'' Hamilton said with a wave of his hand.

''Well, we do,'' Bella said, concerned for her absent friend.

''Will threw a tantrum, and okay, I sort of, might have actually helped it along,'' said Hamilton which caused the others to wince for they all knew Will's sensitivity. ''I didn't start it, though. He wanted to know what I thought of his book and I told him; it needs work.''

''You were pretty harsh though, man,'' Scout said.

Hamilton made a point of looking directly at Jake. ''Well, my mind was somewhere else.''

The others raised an eyebrow but ultimately left it at that.

''Has anyone actually read his book from beginning to end?'' asked Bella, and the others responded with silence.

''I've read some, and Hamilton's right,'' began Jake, gently. ''He's an adult and if he didn't want the truth then he shouldn't have asked for it. Look, I love Will, sure, but as a protagonist he's boring as hell. I could barely sit through and read a whole book about him.''

Scout stared down at his sneakers and swatted off a few smudges of dirt. ''God, can you imagine if they made a TV show about him?'' he laughed. ''That thing would so be cancelled.''

''Regardless,'' started Sean, ''of what the book is or isn't, we should all think about taking him aside and giving him a pat on the back. At the very least for arranging this weekend.''

The group raised their shoulders, in agreement to pacify their absent friend upon their return. Sean then thought it best they think about heading back as it would soon be dark and so the topic of which trail to take back to camp came up. Due to their shortage of supplies and water it was decided that they choose the undemanding route. Later, as they started down the path a collective weariness seemed to weigh over each of them, silencing them for the majority of their trek. Once they arrived back to campsite a few hours later dusk had just finished fading into darkness. Due to the absence of light they weren't able to see what it was many of them stumbled over as they walked into the middle of the clearing.

Sean and Jake promptly retrieved a couple of flashlights and pointed them across the area and were quick to note Will's absence as well as a handful of newly emptied beer bottles littering the ground.

''What the hell was Will doing?'' Scout wondered aloud.

''Throwing himself a pity party it seems,'' answered Jake as she threw her backpack of supplies into a chair and surveyed the scene before her.

Bella, having found a flashlight for herself, pointed her beam of light at her husband. ''Please tell me you have the keys to my truck,'' and then at Scout, ''and that you have the keys to your car.''

Both men nodded, but only Sean spoke. ''Where ever he went, he went walking.''

The group them elected to attempt calling his cell, which went straight to voicemail.

''If he's been in a weird nostalgic funk like you guys say he's in,'' Bella began, ''then my guess is he probably got a little tipsy and walked over to the Rawley campus.''

Collectively they groaned. Someone was going to need to retrieve their friend and after spending hours in the sun, working up a sweat no one was all that eager to volunteer. Eventually, though, Sean spared everyone by announcing that he would trek out in the hopes of finding Will. After a quick change of his shirt he slipped a baseball cap on backwards and requested Jake's companionship for the walk, which everyone thought to be strange. Yet no one made comment, and after a brief period of hesitation she was walking away with him with the promise of their return.

''Alright, now do either of you know how to start a fire?'' Scout asked. ''Or shall I just start hitting a couple of rocks together Fred Flintstone style?''

If they hadn't been completely surrounded by darkness he'd have noted Bella and Hamilton simultaneously rolling their eyes at him.

''I'll take care of that,'' said Hamilton, grabbing a bottle of lighter fluid and matches. ''This weekend has been a complete bust in every way possible so if I accidentally burst into flames, well, I wouldn't be too surprised.''

''Hamilton flaming? I'm giving you a free pass on that one because I feel badly about tripping you up earlier,'' said Scout before grabbing a nearby flashlight and taking off for the 'little boys room' further into the woods, away from camp.

Once they were alone Bella knelt down and assisted Hamilton as he tossed the old, burnt wood from the previous night off to the side and replaced it with a fresh stack that had previously been gathered the day before.

''Is your ankle still bothering you?'' she asked nonchalantly.

''No, the icepack did wonders.''

''In that case,'' she said, throwing another piece of firewood into the center of camp. ''Maybe it'd be a good idea for you to go catch up with Sean and Jake. I mean, if Will has wondered over to the school and got caught by the groundskeeper you more than anyone would be able to sweet talk your way into getting him off the hook. Your father's still the Dean.''

''I won't get into why, but I'm probably the last person Will wants to see, and I doubt Jake would want me tagging along with them anyway.''

He applied a generous amount of lighter fluid to the wood and threw a lit match towards the area. In no time flames took shape, enveloping the pieces of wood and causing both he and Bella to lean backwards until the fire became smaller, calmer. They sat for a few seconds in silence until he felt her staring at him at his side.

''What?'' he asked, uncomfortable.

She took a few moments to search for a suitable response that would somehow force him into confiding to her. Unable to find one she simply decided to address the matter head on. ''I'm way too tired to be subtle, Hamilton, so I'm not going to beat around the bush or talk in code. I'm just going to say to you the same thing I said to Jake last night: _man-up_.''

''That's a spot-on Dr. Phil impression.''

''She told me what happened, but you can't let this loom over you and her for the rest of the night, the rest of the weekend. Stop acting as if it's the end of the world, okay? My god, there was less tension between Sean and Scout than there was between you and Jake on the way back. You and her haven't said a word to each other for the last hour. Will you please just go catch up her?''

''Why are you trying to get rid of me?'' he asked.

''Because when you and Jake fight you both become incredibly obnoxious...and because I could use a few minutes alone with Scout.''

He raised an eyebrow. ''Huh, I don't think Sean would like it if I left you alone with Calhoun in front of the lake and a roaring fire.''

She rolled her eyes. ''Yeah, Hamilton, I'm going to sleep with Scout in the middle of camp, where Sean or any one of you could walk back any minute and catch us.''

''Well...'' he drifted off and tended to the fire with a stick.

''I was being sarcastic,'' she said, mildly offended that he thought her to be capable of such a thing. ''A man and a woman can spend time together and it not turn into some romantic situation. Sean and Jake just walked off together. You don't think they'd do something like that, do you?''

''Of course not,'' he said confidentally. ''Men and women can be friends. I'm not disputing that. I'm just saying back in the day, it was a weird unsaid thing; you've always seen Scout as a little more than just a friend. That makes it different.''

''Why does everyone think that?'' she asked with a sigh. ''That Scout showing up this weekend will somehow change how I feel about what happened. That I'll just turn right back into that silly flip-floppy girl who could never make up her mind.''

''I guess because I'm starting to find that old habits die hard,'' he sighed.

''I like to believe we've actually all grown. I know I have. Fine, look, you can avoid your problem for the rest of the weekend if you like, but just give me half an hour. Whatever this thing is with Scout, let me deal with it head on. Please.''

She placed her flashlight within his hands. Reluctantly, he took it, and flicked it on and off a few times, testing it's usability. Eventually after a few silent moments he stood up, dusted off his legs and sighed, ''Half an hour,'' he said gently. ''Then I'll be back.''

--------------------

With their flashlights in hand Jake and Sean were slowly traveling through the woods towards Rawley in silence. Occasionally one of them would stumble over something in the dark and the other would reach out to lend a steadying hand, but for the most part they remained alert and on path.

On her end, she wasn't quite sure why he had asked her to make the trip to the campus with him. Due to her occasional holiday visits to the Fleming home she was somewhat familiar with the area, but she knew Sean to be much more acquainted with it. In the end, though, she figured accompanying him would allow her a short escape from the awkwardness that came from being in Hamilton's presence.

Eventually she knew she would have to face him again. They were due to leave the very next evening after all, but for the moment she was just relieved for the silence, which was short lived as Sean spoke up.

''So, have you been enjoying yourself so far this weekend?'' he asked, breaking the awkward lull.

''Sure,'' she said. ''I found a lizard in my shoe this morning. I don't get to see that every day. You know it's okay, Sean, right? Feel free to go ahead and tell me why you really asked _me _to walk with you.''

Taken back, he shrugged. ''Can't one buddy ask another to walk with him for no reason?''

She laughed inwardly, and he rolled his eyes in the darkness. ''What?'' he asked, thrown by her laughter. ''We're friends. We hang out every time you're in New Rawley.''

''Yeah, but we always have Hamilton or Bella working as buffers. Of course we're friends, Sean, but _buddies_? If you're paranoid about Scout and you're hoping I can give you some inside information on what Bell's thinking-''

''Scout has nothing to do with why I asked you. In fact, I'm not even that bothered that he's here.''

''You're serious?''

''Oddly, I am. He's kept himself in check so far this weekend. I asked you to walk because I figured that with everything you have going on with Hamilton you could use some air.''

''First of all, there's nothing going on with Hamilton and I. Secondly, I don't know if you've noticed, but we're camping. I've been getting nothing but fresh air. I'm fine.''

It was his turn to laugh inwardly. ''Which was why you were spazzing out in front of me during our hike with Bella earlier, huh?''

''Where does this come from?'' she squeaked, nervously laughing at the observation. ''Why does everyone think I spaz out easily-''

''We're not exactly close, but...well, even I know that's what you do. You spaz. Look, I wasn't trying to listen, but I heard bits of your conversation with Bella...''

''And you probably think I should just say yes to Hamilton and shut up too, right?'' she asked wearily as a gust of wind blew against them, causing her hair to flap out of order. She stopped briefly in their path to sort it, push it out of her eye line and sooth it back into place.

Sean turned back to her and offered her his cap, placing it atop her head. ''Do you want to hear a story?''

''Story time? How paternal of you.''

''Bella and I have this friend, Greg,'' Sean continued regardless of her wisecrack. ''Now Greg's a great guy. Totally honest, optimistic, hard-working, but for a long while he was also single, and after years on the dating scene he was ready to find , you know, it. So one night we were at a friend's house watching a game on TV and out of nowhere he announced that he was going to marry the next girl who mentioned lemon meringue pie to him. We didn't think it anything at the time. I mean, hey, we all had a few that night. So he goes on muddling through date after date, until he meets her. A second grade teacher named Sara. One day they were on the phone, talking about what's to be their fifth date when she suggested a picnic. She wanted to spend the afternoon in the park and have him meet her dog and, for no reason at all, offered to make him a home made pie. Lemon meringue. He proposed the next day and they got married a month later.''

If there was a point to this anecdote she certainly wasn't getting it. ''And so, what, I should consult a dessert before ultimately deciding if Hamilton and I should get married?''

''No, smart ass.'' He swatted her upper arm playfully. ''The point is...What does marriage mean in today's world when people are willing to leap into it because of a piece of pie?''

''Especially lemon meringue. It's disgusting. Now if it had been pecan pie it'd be a much more believable scenario.''

He laughed at her quip, but quieted himself to add, ''You and Ham have never stood on an alter, but that doesn't mean your relationship is any less substantial than the Pie Couple's. It's probably more so if anything else. I don't know, I guess my point is...there are a million reasons to do it, and a million reasons not to. It all comes down to which ones are more important to you. And, hey, if it isn't for you then it isn't for you. I wanted you to walk with me so I could tell you that no matter what anybody else thinks there's nothing wrong with that.''

She smiled, elated to have finally found an ally. The exchange was comforting, though she was surprised at who she was experiencing it with. Sean was usually so quiet, so stoic, and yet she now saw the warmth and thoughtfulness Bella always spoke of so fondly.

''Dude,'' she said, impressed and amused by the insight from the townie. ''What_ does _New Rawley put in it's water?''

They exited the woods and came onto the large, front lawns of the school campus. Thanks to the many outside light fixtures secured around the lawn they could see a male figure sitting at the entrance of the main Rawley building.

''There's Will,'' Sean said, abandoning the previous subject quickly and starting toward their friend.

''Hey,'' Jake said, halting. ''Do you mind if I stay behind while you talk to him? I hope he's okay and everything, but I don't feel like hanging with Debbie Downer over there.''

''You'll be okay on your own?'' he asked with brotherly concern.

''Sure. Take your time.'' She then made a wave over towards the lake. ''I'll just go hang out on the dock or something. I could use some space for awhile. You guys just swing by and tell me when you're ready to head back through the woods.''

''Okay,'' Sean said hesitantly.

He was only a few yards away when she suddenly caught herself calling out to him. He stopped in his tracks and turned, raising his head, signaling her to go on.

''That pie thing, did you make it up?'' she asked.

''Why would I do that?''

''I don't know, I just thought it might be some weird townie fable or something.''

''I was a groomsmen at the wedding,'' he said with a sly smile.

''Did it last?''

''No. That thing was over before it began.''

He threw her a little wave and then began walking backwards before turning entirely and proceeding towards the school. Soon she turned and started off in the opposite direction, towards the dock.

--------------------

Bella sat before the fire and shifted in her seat as the flames warmed her legs to an almost uncomfortable degree. She had sent Hamilton off minutes earlier and shortly after Scout returned from his bathroom break to the camp grounds. They exchanged smiles as he took to washing up his hands with sanitizing liquid and a wetnap while she explained Hamilton's absence. Once he was through he sat himself on the opposite side of the camp, as if not wanting to crowd her.

Navigating through the weekend thus far had been fairly simple for each of them. When they were in the presence of the others there was no pressure for either of them to interact directly, and the few instances where they had conversed with each other they had let the conversation revolve around light-hearted matters. But Bella was now aware that they were due for a more serious conversation, one which she wasn't quite sure how to begin.

Hamilton's earlier remarks about her past tendency to be fickle in regards to her feelings for Sean and Scout had began to worry her. After all, if Hamilton could so easily jump to that assumption, it was possible that Scout himself might be able to as well. But then she reminded herself that he had built a life beyond her. How silly and self-absorbed was it to still believe that he held a flame for her after all this time? Very. And yet, despite all of her claims to the contrary, she needed to know, needed to hear where he stood with her. There was still a tiny corner of her heart where his memory remained, and despite the years, she couldn't help but wonder, couldn't help but hope his life had gone on to be as wonderful and brilliant as hers. That was what she needed to hear.

''So, it's been an interesting day,'' she began tensely.

''You're telling me,'' he said. ''The weird thing is Will had to twist my arm to get me out here. I didn't think he'd be the one to blow a gasket. Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis while you're in your twenties?''

''If you ask me Will's been having a mid-life crisis since third grade.''

Together they laughed, locking eyes with each other over the fire.

''I'm glad he did, though,'' she said, slowly quieting herself. ''Twist your arm.''

''You...are?''

She nodded and raised a shoulder, quickly looking away from him and skidding a sneaker against the ground, trying to play it off casually. ''Yeah. You and I haven't been friends for a long time and we haven't exactly gotten to spend a lot of time together so far this weekend, but...I'm glad you were able to come.''

''Well, I had some vacation time that-''

''No, I mean,'' she paused, swallowing her discomfort. ''I'm glad that you found it in yourself to come. Glad the past didn't stop you from showing up.''

''It came close to. At first I was pretty set in stone about not coming out here.''

''So why did you?''

''Other than Will's pestering? I guess I was afraid,'' he admitted wearily. Looking relieved to unburden himself finally. ''I was terrified that I might still be in love with you and I needed to find out for sure.''

Bella's mouth went dry and she blinked slowly, trying to decipher his words and tone and what exactly he was trying to get at.

Scout hurriedly carried on, trying to save face. ''You don't need to feel sorry for me or anything. After you, me, Rawley...I dated some really nice, sweet girls. My problem was I could never let myself fall completely. It always ended and it always ended badly. But when I met her - my fiancé - I thought I finally got it right.''

''You're engaged?'' she asked.

''Not anymore,'' he answered sadly. Then with a forced, false laugh, ''The closer we got to the wedding I guess I started to wonder if there was some tiny, dormant part within me that still had feelings for you. As much as I told myself and everyone else I was over it - you- I couldn't go through with it. I didn't want to do that to I wasn't sure, ending it was the only right thing to do. That's why I decided to come, to see if I was right to let her go when I did.''

''Were you...?'' she asked, still not quite sure what this was all leading to.

''I was trying to figure that out when I got sidetracked earlier today at the station...when I brought up Grace and you clammed up.''

''That,'' she said plaintively.

''I've been thinking about it on and off all day.''

''You didn't ask the others?'' she asked because, he had after all been known to put his nose in her life during their shared time in New Rawley.

''Will said it's something you'd probably want me to hear from you. I figure if it's that big of a deal to him, then for once it might be best if I didn't nose around. And anyway, I already had a pretty good idea of what it is.''

''You do?''

--------------------

Hamilton had just made it out of the woods and onto the vast Rawley lawns. He was open to giving Bella some time to talk to Scout alone, but he was in no rush to catch up with Sean and Jake as they searched for Will, which was why he started off to the dock in front of campus. He figured he could spend some time there, alone. Just himself, the lake and the starlit sky above it.

He stopped his slow march when he caught sight of the academy's emblem on the small storage facility which he knew to contain boat shells. He studied the symbol briefly before edging around and it was then he caught sight of a form seated at the incline atop the dock.

''Hey boy,'' he said, only half certain it was Jake.

She was slightly startled by the voice, but within seconds she registered the tone and who it belonged to and calmed. ''What are you doing out here?'' she asked, not bothering to turn around.

''Umm, Bella wanted to have a private conversation with Scout...'' Behind her he cautiously approached and turned off his flashlight. ''Plus, I thought I'd catch up with you guys,'' he lied. ''You know, make sure Will didn't get himself into any real trouble.''

''Well, he and Sean are in front of the school,'' she said, offering him a reason to leave.

He didn't take to it, though. ''Can I join you?''

She finally looked at him and waved nonchalantly to the space at her side, inviting him to sit with her on the wooden planks, in the place they had first encountered each other. He seated himself quickly, and it was as if he momentarily forget their previous squabble when he reached out to playfully tug on the bill of her cap.

''What's with the hat?'' he asked.

''Ah, I borrowed it from Sean,'' she said, slightly thrown by the subject. She brought a hand up to the back of her head and adjusted the cap slightly. ''It seems the wind and my hair hate each other. I needed something to keep it from flapping in my face.''

''It looks cute.''

''I probably look like a teenage boy, Hamilton.''

''Trust me, you look anything but.''

Put at ease by their pleasantly trivial conversation she added, ''I was actually thinking about getting my hair cut short again when we get back home. Maybe not as short as I had it when you met me, but...short.''

''I loved the wild bird nest 'do you used to sport,'' he confessed sheepishly. ''That summer around school you'd have it gelled into perfectly styled boy hair, but whenever we'd lock ourselves in your dorm you'd start running your hands through it and there'd be all these cute, little tufts sticking up in different directions...''

He smiled and went silent for what felt like a tiny eternity as he experienced an intense case of deja vu. The teenage Jake, decked out in a blue ball cap and sweats flashed vividly before his eyes, only to dissolve into the young woman sitting in front of him. The one he went home to every night, the one he woke up with every morning. It was difficult to remain upset with her when she continually captivated him.

His eyes traced along her features, slowly drinking them in until his gaze finally settled on her lips. After all these years he was still completely un-immune to their lure. He imagined kissing her, placing his hands along her face, her neck, her shoulders, and allowing their bodies to repair what words hadn't yet tried to. He wasn't sure words could communicate what he felt, but he wanted to believe his touch could. That with one simple act he could erase his previous verbal missteps and resolve the miscommunication.

''What are you doing?'' she asked as he inched closer, his lips grazing hers as he angled himself so as not to bump into her hat. She placed a palm against his chest, gently stopping him from moving in further.

''Something wrong I take it?'' He slowly withdrew from her personal space, but retained eye contact.

''Hamilton...'' She pulled the hat off and took a deep breath as if fighting her own temptations.

''From how we were talking I just thought...I thought you weren't angry at me anymore.''

''I wasn't angry at you to begin with,'' she assured. ''Frustrated as hell? Yes. Angry? No. And intensely hot make out sessions might've done the trick when we were teenagers and, okay, maybe they still do the trick nowadays when we're fighting about what pillowcases to buy or whatever, but-''

''Not now,'' he said finishing her thought, closing his eyes and mentally chastising himself for letting his physical desires take over. ''I get it.''

''It's okay though. It isn't like I don't want to. Don't get me wrong, I so want to.''

''...Yeah?''

''Well, yeah,'' she answered with a shrug, as if her answer could possibly be anything else. ''But it isn't how I want us to fix things.''

He had been eager to share that certain act of intimacy with her for the past two days, but he knew true resolution wouldn't come with a kiss or a touch. She wasn't that simple, she would never be that simple, and as much as it frustrated him in this specific instance he knew it was part of why he loved her so.

''Me neither. That was just a weak, sketchy moment. In fact this,'' he gestured to the small space between their bodies, ''is exactly why I tried to keep my space from you today. I didn't want to end up here.''

''Where is 'here' exactly?'' she asked, uncertain.

''Distracted.'' His eyes roamed over her with affection and settled on her hands as she fiddled with the ball cap. ''I'm easily distracted when it comes to you. Like, right now I keep looking down at your wrists and I have no idea why because they're just wrists, but they're _your wrists_ and so I think they're the most beautiful wrists in the world. And now you're making a face like that's the creepiest thing you've ever heard.''

''No, I'm making this face because you just said wrists about fifteen times in one sentence.''

''And if it's not your wrists, it's your nose, or your laugh, or your eyes. Your eyes; the only thing more amazing than looking into your eyes is having them look back at me, and if I would've let that happen I would've probably tried kissing you a lot sooner. The reason I didn't let myself is because I really wanted to be mad at you today.''

''Really? I hadn't noticed _at all_,'' she said sarcastically.

''It's nice to see you still have your sense of humor.''

She shook the smirk off of her face, trying to get to the heart of the matter at hand. ''Well, what do you want me to say? I could go on about how I'm equally distracted by you because, trust me, I am. But the truth is we're here going back and forth because sometimes you scare the hell out of me.''

He blinked unevenly, like a confused, injured squirrel. Struck by the weight of her words he quickly turned away from her and brought his knees up to his chest, folding his arms atop them. ''That's comforting to know.''

''Listen to me,'' she urged softly as she caught her hand reaching out to touch the side of his face, tempted to sooth him and play with a lock of hair near his ear. Quickly, she retracted her hand, aware that physical distractions would only hinder the point of the conversation. The words she was about to say needed to stand on their own. ''I didn't mean it like that. But when you look at me, really look at me, it's scary, and overwhelming, and thrilling in the most amazing, fantastic sense. But when you take that same intensity and you use it to avoid me, to combat me it's just as powerful only in the negative way. And today? Today hurt like hell.''

''I never meant...I wasn't...'' he sputtered. ''It wasn't exactly painless for me, either. And you know what? Sometimes you scare the hell out of me too, Jake.''

Her eyes widened in confusion. ''Whoa, what?''

''I like to believe that after all this time I know you more than anyone,'' he said gently, ''but sometimes you say something or do something that confuses the hell out of me, and I have to remind myself that there's so much more to you than I could ever begin to understand. When that happens I don't always know how to handle it.''

''Well, obviously. Otherwise, you wouldn't have walked away from me.''

''You walked away from me, too,'' he noted calmly and fairly. ''Look, Jake,'' he said, unfolding himself and turning his body a few inches to sit completely face to face with her. ''I'm a living, breathing, walking Hallmark card. Other men, more worldly men, or whatever you want to call them, might see and feel things differently, but I'm not other men. I want what I want. I can't apologize for the way I see the world.''

''I would never expect you to and I would hope that you would never expect me to, either. Love isn't about expectations, Hamilton. Love is just...freedom.''

''Okay, see, this is one of those times where I'm not entirely certain what you mean. Someone needs to invent a Jake-to-English dictionary because I'm lost. What exactly are you saying?''


	5. Chapter 5

When Sean arrived at the large graveled area in front of the Rawley boy's school he was thankful for the many strategically placed light fixtures along the walkway that allowed him to see Will, who occupied the top step. His knees bent as one would normally do, but his upper body was horizontal, lying against the walkaway in order to stare up at the night sky.

''What's going on, man?'' Sean asked, reaching down to lightly swat at his friend's kneecap before taking a seat nearby. ''What are you doing all the way out here?''

Will raised his head at the voice, then realizing it was Sean laid it back down on the large slabs of rock. ''Do you remember when I graduated?'' he asked, disregarding the question completely and deciding instead to take a slightly tipsy turn down memory lane.

''I remember.'' Sean squinted as he retrieved the memories. ''Yeah, yeah, Hamilton and Jake were on some weird break. She was in New York, he was here, depressed. We wanted to cheer him up so that night after the big, fancy hoopla you, me and Fleming knocked back a few in celebration and then-''

''Snuck into the school storage room at 3 a.m. and rode lawnmowers all around the lake,'' Will chuckled. ''I think we tried to spell something out in the grass.''

''That was pretty stupid of us,'' Sean admitted. ''I should've known better. After all, friends don't let friends drive drunk, even if said friends are only driving lawnmowers.''

''Those were the days,'' Will said to the sky above him.

''It was a monumental display of immaturity, but...it was pretty fun. And when the old groundskeeper found us, you could tell he wanted to rip us a new one. We would've totally caught flack had it not been for Hamilton. He bailed us out of that one.''

''Yeah, I guess so,'' Will added wearily.

''I heard you guys had a bust up on the hike. What happened?''

Will shrugged. ''Nothing you need to worry about. Why are you here anyway?''

''The guys said you took off in a huff. We were all worried. We went back to camp, saw you were gone and figured you'd be here, so I came after. Just in case.''

''How thoughtful of you all,'' Will said sarcastically.

''What's your deal?'' Sean asked gently. ''I thought we were having fun. I thought you were having fun.''

''We were. I was. Until I discovered that no one's read my book,'' Will said pathetically. ''Not you, or Scout or anyone. Wait, no, Hamilton's read some of it.''

''That's something,'' he said encouragingly.

''And he thinks it's boring, self-indulgent overly nostalgic crap.''

''He really said that?''

''He might as well have,'' Will said, the alcohol had obviously loosened his tongue.

Sean recognized the tone of his friend's voice. What it meant, why he had it. The mirth had long since fell from Will's face and with a sigh Sean prepared for the taller man to lapse into his old self-pitying ways.

''At first I was pissed off at all of you, then just Hamilton, then...after a drink or two I decided the one person I was most pissed off at was myself,'' said Will. ''I've spent the last few hours trying to figure out why it is that none of you have sat down and gave my book a chance. I don't know, maybe it's because you're all busy, with work, with family, with each other. Maybe it's because all of you do know how the story ends. The poor boy gets a scholarship, proves everybody wrong, and leaves the town and everyone in it behind. Or maybe it's because here we are nearly a decade later, and I have absolutely nothing else, no feat, no award, nothing to be proud of, and the book reflects that.''

''Will,'' Sean interjected quickly, ''if you took half the energy you use to wail on about how horribly unfulfilling your life is and you put it towards your goal-whatever that may be-you might get somewhere.'' His words were gruff, honest. He had never handled Will with kid gloves, and he wasn't about to start. ''You're acting as if the world's reserved a special kind of misery for you and you alone. It hasn't, man. Is this why you came out here this weekend?'' he laughed, though not out of spite. ''So you could relate your woes to everyone and we'd all feel sorry for you and tell you what a genius you are.''

''You wouldn't understand why I needed this weekend.''

''Right, because I'm still just a poor, ol' townie.''

''I didn't say that, and I would never think that. You wouldn't understand because you're set, you're happy...you're somebody, Sean. Okay?''

''Are you drunk?''

''Kinda, yeah,'' admitted Will. ''Look, after New Rawley, after college I thought I'd have all these things to write home about, some great adventure or story to recount to you guys. But let's face it, my life's never been all that exciting. It seemed to become even less so when I moved out of town. Now when I call or email, it's you who always has something going on. Today you had an entire group of kids just looking up to you, man. _That means something_. You go home to Bella and Matthew every day. You're doing something with your life. You're somebody.''

''Who says you're not and why are you all of a sudden in love with New Rawley anyway? Come on, Will, you thought this town was a dead end.''

''I was wrong, though. It's only a dead end if you want it to be and I'm realizing that just because I happened to get out doesn't mean I'm any more successful at life than anyone who happened to stay behind.''

''Wow,'' Sean had to shake his head at what he was hearing. ''I never thought I'd see the day when Will Krudski was envious of me.''

''I'm as surprised as you are,'' Will deadpanned, then smiled at the thought, at his own foolishness.

They sat in silence and listened to the crickets chirp for a few moments before Sean nudged him in his side and rose from his seat. ''Let's go back to camp. I'm tired; you're drunk and we could both use a rest. We can talk the rest out tomorrow.''

With a sigh Will stood and began walking along with him, away from the building. ''You said something to me once that I never forgot. You said you thought I was going to be somebody, and because of that you felt you were going to be somebody too. You remember that?''

''Not really,'' Sean said breezily.

Tipsily Will proclaimed, ''Well, you did. And this time, right here, right now, it's me looking at you and saying you make me want to go back out there and be somebody, Sean. Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true. You're a pal and a confidant.''

''Now I know you're really drunk,'' Sean winced at the truly pathetic scene. ''Dude, you just quoted the lyrics to The Golden Girls theme song.''

''So I did,'' Will hiccupped. ''But I mean it, man.''

''Yeah,'' Sean rolled his eyes. ''I'm sure you do. Now let's go.''

Sean had to laugh as he led Will back across the lawns of Rawley and near the dock. He stopped short when he noticed Jake now had Hamilton for company and that the two were involved in a conversation. Rather than intruding he simply tugged on Will's sleeve, signalling him towards the wooded area where they started their way back to camp.

--------------------

Bella was frazzled by Scout's words and for the past several minutes she had been watching him react to her reactions. He was obviously concerned enough to stand and make his way over to the other side of camp where she sat. He took a chair nearby and pulled it next to hers.

''So you know, huh?'' she asked and he nodded silently. ''Well, I don't want you feeling sorry for me now, either,'' she said, mirroring his words from earlier.

''I don't feel sorry for you. What you're doing, it's so...''

She tried to lighten the moment by offering, ''White-trash? Pathetic?''

''Brave,'' he declared softly and smiled through his emotions.

A quiet lull swept over them and she was thankful that he wasn't pushing for details just yet. It was a story she seldom had to tell, but one that never failed to shake her up, even when she was only recounting it to herself.

The Banks family name had been dragged through the mud more times than she could count. Though, really, Bella thought it was so far beyond being dragged through the mud now. It'd been dragged through the mud, arrested, served time and now lived in a trailer down by the railroad tracks. Just when Bella had thought her family started to resemble normalcy life, it seemed, had a way of repeating itself. It was some years before when Grace, always the wild one, had found herself in a situation where she couldn't quite manage the consequences and as a result, fled.

It was the day after Christmas and Bella had woken up early to open the station. It was then she noticed her sibling's empty bed on the other side of the room. Grace's clothing in the closet, gone, her emergency money at the bottom of her sock drawer, missing as well. Not wanting to alarm her father, she was sure to check the entire living area and the station downstairs. When Grace was nowhere to be found she immediately phoned Sean, who at the time lived elsewhere in town, and asked if he could come and watch the garage in her place.

When he arrived he picked up on her panicked state and asked what was wrong. ''Nothing,'' she had tried to muster a smile but she could tell he saw right through that and added. ''It's just...Grace. I need to find her. I'm sure it's nothing. Cover for me when my dad asks why I'm not here.'' With that she grabbed a thick winter coat and took off to roam New Rawley, hoping to find her sister or at least someone who had seen her that day. In the end, after a few phonecalls and a few visits with their mutual friends, there had been no sign of her. No clues. No tips. Nothing. By late afternoon she wandered back to her street, still hoping she was overreacting for nothing, that she'd find her sister inside the station with an explaination for her whereabouts throughout the day.

She stood outside for a good while though, as if the longer she could withstand the chill, the better the possibility that it was all in her head. There on the sidewalk she nodded to the occasional passerby, watched Sean through the windows of the front room without him noticing, and eventually came to stare at the holiday decorations she herself had placed on the outside of the building. The window's lined with brightly colored lights. The wreath on the door. She could even hear the radio, faintly from the inside. The most wonderful time of the year, she thought to herself. While she longed for warmth, while she prayed to be wrong, she knew what it would all come down to. The minute she'd walk through that door and into the station she'd have to explain her sibling's absence, to Sean, to her father Charlie, to the newborn son Grace left behind.

Her younger sister's abandonment had tore their father up, much more so than when their mother had skipped out on them. Bella, too, felt the ache. As months went by she often wondered where Grace was, what she was. She could be alone, she could be married, she could be anything, anywhere, and Bella would never know. But the one who was burdened most by the loss was an infant Matthew.

Bella knew what it felt like to be left behind all to well and it was because of that, that she decided to step up and give the child that which she had never truly had herself: a mother.

''He's not yours is he?'' Scout asked gently as they continued to sit in front of the fire.

''No,'' she answered quickly, honestly. ''I mean yes, I mean, well, technically no, but... _he is to me_.''

She was about to launch into speech, to explain the details to him, but stopped short when she heard voices approaching the campsite. They quickly composed themselves when Sean and Will arrived at the clearing. Will raised his head to them all, looking quite embarrassed by his fit which he seemed to assume they were all aware of.

''If you guys don't mind, I'm calling it a night.'' Will pointed to a tent and without another word started off for it, eventually entering it.

Sean, Scout and Bella were then left to eye each other. ''You guys were probably...in the middle of something,'' Sean began awkwardly. ''So I'll go hang with Will. He's still pretty bummed and probably shouldn't be alone anyhow.''

With that he dismissed himself off and followed his friend into the small plastic shelter a few yards away. Bella turned back to Scout, unsure of her next move, if she should continue their conversation or keep Sean company as he dealt with morose Will.

''You should go help him,'' said Scout.

''Are you sure? Because we can finish talking and-''

''No,'' he replied. ''I mean...drunk Will is even more depressing than sober Will. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Go help your...'' he paused and reminded himself to use the word 'husband', ''husband. Me and you, we'll talk in the daylight.''

''In the daylight,'' she repeated and reached out to place a hand on one of his shoulders before ultimately stepping away from him and into the tent where they had watched Will and Sean enter.

And for the first time during the weekend Scout was left standing alone.

Oddly, he didn't mind the silence, or the space. If anything being alone gave him a chance to sort out his head when it came to Bella, the exchange they had just put to a halt and what exactly, if anything, he felt for her. His slight preoccupation with Grace and what her absence in turn meant to Bella had caused him to stop his own emotional investigation of himself. But now with that recent discovery out of the way and out in the open, it was time to resume it, to search himself yet again.

Naturally, the first question he had to ask himself was did this new information change anything. He had told Will that he had no intention of meddling into Bella's life, or crossing a line that would damage her young family. But now that he knew that her young family wasn't exactly what it had first seemed to be, he wondered if that would somehow make crossing a line permissable. When it came down to it, though, he knew it was something he could never do, something he surprisingly had no urge to do. A family was a family, regardless of how it was formed.

Seeing her with Sean earlier during the hike, witnessing the way she smiled at the blond man, the way he smiled back at her, didn't pain him exactly. It was awkward for him yes, and maybe it would always be on some small level, but it didn't hurt, not like it once did. There was no intense ache tearing him open and more than anything, he was shocked. He had carried around that wound from his youth for so long only to come face to face with the two people who had created it to find that it had, without him even noticing, healed.

He sat back down in his chair in front of the fire, unsure with what to do with himself and the tiny revelation that he had spent the past several years pining for someone who he was no longer in love with.

--------------------

Elsewhere Hamilton was forcing himself to swallow the horrible feeling in the back of his throat as he continued to sit with Jake there on the dock. Their flashlights had long since been flicked off and they had taken to using the moon as their light source as they carried on their conversation.

''You,'' she started, ''grew up with certain ideas instilled in you, and I grew up, with, well, you know my mom. My world was vastly different from yours. I've always believed that commitment is what you make it. You and I may have different ideas about what it is, but that doesn't mean either of us are in the wrong.''

''It... doesn't?'' he asked, somewhat relieved.

''No. Today we've been fighting back and forth, but there was never a moment where I thought 'god, is this over?'. Me and you, we're so beyond that now.''

''Then how do we do this? Do you need a day, or a couple of weeks or what? How are we going to play this?''

''I don't exactly have a plan. You're putting this all on me. I don't want it to be my decision. I want it to be our decision.''

''Jake, I know you're trying to be fair and equal with this 'our decision' business, but you already know where I stand. As much as I want to hear 'yes', I don't want to push you into anything. Maybe I've been doing that all day, but it was only because I was upset. I'm still upset, but... I totally reacted badly and I'm sorry.''

Jake digested his words as she looked down at the planks beneath her, studying every mark and crevice. ''I'm sorry, too. I probably could've explained where I was coming from a little less harshly. I definitely shouldn't have spazzed out like I did.''

''What would a trip to New Rawley be without you spazzing out at least once?'' he asked playfully.

''God...we're both _such_ drama queens.''

He let out a light, airy chuckle. ''I guess we are.''

She joined him in his laughter, simply pleased she could amuse him. He, on the other hand, was just pleased to be amused after the physically and emotionally draining events of the day. The moment became considerably lighter, as if they both felt some sort of peace had been achieved. It wasn't quite resolution, but merely a ceasefire. It would have to be enough for the time being. So in need of relief neither of them seemed interested in pressing the matter there on the docks.

''I missed you today,'' she said, slightly embarrassed by such an outright admission.

''I missed you too,'' he replied. ''But we're okay, right?''

She answered him by reaching over and taking a hold of the lock of hair she had been itching to touch for the past several minutes. As a result, he fought to keep his eyes opened and his mind focused. When her fingers found the tip of his right ear he shivered and reached up to place one of his hands over hers, enjoying the simple, quaint act of affection. Not wanting to create any more distance or force another conversation regarding the ring or the fight it caused he decided to change the topic.

He only opened his eyes when he began to sniff the air in her general direction. ''...You smell bad.''

She looked skywards and fluttered her eyelashes rapidly, ''Oh, how you make my heart flutter.''

''No, I didn't mean... I meant you usually smell fantastic. You've always had your own, like, Jake-smell that I totally love. But right now you kinda smell like-''

''Like I've been outside for nearly two straight days, and just finished a long-ass hike?'' she said, not taking offense but rather laughing it off. ''I hate to break it to you, Fleming, but you're not smelling so fresh yourself. If we ever decide to do another weekend outing with these guys I get to have a say in what we'll be doing and where we'll be staying. I'm getting it in writing that there has to be access to beds, air-conditioning, and most importantly baths. Right now, I'd kill for a nice, spacious shower.''

''Well...'' he paused and gave thought, ''if you really want a chance to get cleaned up I can arrange that.''

Eagerly he rose to his feet and held out his hand to her; a silent request for her own. She took it and pulled herself upright, intrigued by his offer.

''I thought you told me your parents were remodeling their bath. They shut the flow of water to the house and it's probably in pieces anyway, right?''

''Yeah, probably,'' he answered as he began leading her away, off of the docks.

''Then where exactly are you taking me?'' she asked when she realized they weren't heading back into the lining of trees, but rather towards the Rawley Boys' school building.

''You can't be serious,'' she said.

''Am I ever not serious?''

''If I recall correctly, the last time you talked me into a shower on campus we got busted, big time.''

''Yeah, that was when we were kids, and had something to hide. Who's going to bust us now, and over what? We're both adults, and summer session is over. My mom told me there's no one on campus. You want a shower, and I know how to get us into one.''

''How do you talk me into these things?''

Some time later they were quietly strolling the halls of the Rawley school building. While many of the actual entrances and exits had been locked Hamilton knew of a few access points under the radar. Once they managed to get inside the building he had guided her along quite confidently, though when they reached the shower area he became a little more cautious.

He wasn't afraid of being caught for he knew the only one likely to roam the area would be the groundskeeper who, off-hours, resided in his living quarters on campus. It being past 9 p.m. he was certain the man would have already retired for the evening. His caution came from simply not knowing what to do with himself. It certainly wouldn't be the first time he'd been present while she showered, and it certainly wasn't as if he hadn't seen her in her altogether before, either, though considering the events of the day he was fully intent on showing her how patient he could be in every way possible. He was in no hurry to embarrass himself again by being shot down, and after all that had transpired he wouldn't blame her if she did.

So when she slowly started to undress he was quick to find a reason to excuse himself out of the room. Back on the other side of the door he made the short trip to a nearby storage closet to collect a few useful items he knew the faculty always kept in stock. He took his time doing so in order to gather his nerves and told himself once he returned he'd undress and find his way into a separate stall. Sure, it'd be difficult to go about his business knowing a very naked Jake was on the other side of the shower partition, but he was tired...she was tired, and it just didn't feel like the most appropriate time to make such a move anyway. He could do this he told himself.

Minutes later, though, when he returned to the showers to find a pile of clothes lying on the ground in front of the middle stall and the sound of running water filling the room he knew it'd be a much more difficult task than he had anticipated. He quickly made his way to one of the sinks, dropped the items within his arms into it and took a few calming breathes as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

''I got a couple of towels, some shampoo and a bar of soap,'' he said, staring back at himself. ''It isn't the fancy stuff you usually use, but it's better than nothing.''

Her hair wasn't yet dampened when she popped her head out past the plastic shower curtain. ''You're not going to get cleaned up, too?'' she asked.

He saw her reflection in the glass and was instantly intrigued by the sight of her bare shoulder. ''Um...'' he stammered awkwardly, unsure if she was suggesting he join her or step into one of the neighboring stalls.

''I'm not exactly up for anything other than a shower though,'' she said, quietly amused by his display of boyish embarrassment.

He quickly turned around to face her properly. ''Jake, I'm not up for anything if you're not up for anything... but if you'd like some company... I wouldn't mind stepping in.'' He took a step closer to her and bit down on his bottom lip, anxious.

''Well...'' she paused and took a few moments to think it through, ''you did only bring _one_ bar of soap.''

He smiled, picking up on her subtle encouragement and finding himself grateful for the effort. It was reason enough for him, though he was sure to slowly shed his clothes, giving her time to change her mind, which she never did. And when he finally stepped in with the soap and shampoo he had retrieved earlier he was surprised to find how nervous he was.

The one other instance he had stood with her in that very room they had, of course, been interrupted, much to his disappointment and her embarrassment, but he imagined if they had been able to continue it wouldn't have gone any further than playful, innocent exploration. He would've been able to discover all the little details of her physicality that he was now so fond of, every contour, every birthmark, every slight imperfection, and together they formed a girl, a woman, whose beauty he still found intensely dizzying, yet in this moment his eyes didn't leave her face. Not that they weren't tempted to, but he wanted to express his sincerity and he was certain that if nothing else his stare alone could convey it to her.

And when she stepped forward, placed her hands on either side of his neck and pulled him into a kiss he was certain, it had. His natural reaction was to kiss back, which he did with ease. But then he remembered her hesitance out on the dock and wondered what had brought this on. For a split second he considered pulling away to ask her if she knew what she was doing, but he had been waiting all weekend for this, and at the very least, if nothing else, he was going to kiss her properly, seriously, passionately. He needed this. The closeness, the connection, the feel of her against him, reassurance that, despite all that had been said, he still had her affection.

After several moments of embracing she pulled away just enough to look at him. ''We should argue more often,'' she quipped, recovering from the kiss.

''That's not funny,'' he said, catching his breath and holding back a smile.

In any other circumstance he was certain things would have progressed further, but in that moment they were content to stand and let the water fall over them, washing away the awkwardness and distress that marked the majority of the day. When they eventually stepped out of the stall nearly an hour later they were considerably more refreshed. So much so that treking back to camp only to spend another night in a stuffy tent with Scout and his bug spray wasn't how they wanted to cap off the night. A short time later they were roaming the halls once again in search of a suitable room that he deemed far enough away from the groundskeeper's living quarters.

''Wasn't this Ryder's room once?'' she asked as they stepped inside a dorm and quietly shut the door behind them.

''For the summer you were here, yeah,'' he said, taking a few steps with her in order to reach the bed, which they both quickly sprawled on sideways. Both of them moaned when they hit the soft surface and relaxed. ''But then remember,'' he continued, ''halfway through that school year Will, myself and another student concocted a plan to kick him out.''

''Didn't you guys go to your father and tell him Ryder was sexually harassing all the boys on the crew time?''

''Technically, it wasn't true, though if you ask me Ryder totally had it bad for Will. Anyhow, my dad thought us to be trustworthy students and he had every reason to take it as a serious complaint. He ended up having a one on one with Ryder, telling him, like, how we were all accepting of his lifestyle as long as he didn't go about propositioning every boy in sight. Ryder wasn't amused by it and later on talked a couple of his croonies into trying to slap Will around before class one morning. Needless to say setting up the golden boy of Rawley for a lynching is a really easy way to get yourself kicked out of school.''

''Unlike cross-dressing, which is clearly a more elaborate way of going about that.''

''You never do things the simple way. Anyway, after Ryder was thrown out the first actual gay male student at Rawley felt safe and confident enough to come out to everyone, the school, the town. Best rower we had on the team. Took us to the championship that's for sure.''

She nodded as she recalled the rest of the details of the story and he watched her blink slowly, on the verge of slumber.

''We should probably get some sleep,'' he said. ''You can take the bed and I'll throw a comforter on the floor.''

''Hamilton, you can't still be upset with me, or think that I'm upset with you...''

''Jake, after that shower there's no possible way I can still be angry or upset with you. This has nothing to do with what happened today. I just want you to be comfortable and the two of us squeezed onto a single twin-size bed can't be.''

''Well, there's no way I'm going to be comfortable in bed knowing that you're uncomfortable on the floor.''

''So you want me to sleep on the bed where we'd both be uncomfortable?'' he asked, confused.

''Seems fair to me,'' she deduced. ''If we both can't be comfortable then the fair thing would be for both of us to be uncomfortable.''

She could've very well have suggested they switch rooms to find one with a larger bed, but she didn't and he saw no reason to pose the question, either. Especially when she undressed yet again and slipped under the covers. He wanted nothing more but to slip in beside her, place an arm over her side and begin to doze.

''Besides,'' she said, ''we just took a very thorough shower and it's not like we've never slept together before. Stop being a girl.''

And really, he thought, who could argue with that.

--------------------

**Sunday**

Sean was the first to rise at camp. He rubbed at his face for a few moments and, not having the heart to wake Will or Bella, quietly crawled out of the tent. Once he stood in the clear light of day he began to grimace, not so much at the sun, but at the bits of trash around the site that the group had accumulated since their arrival. He groggily pulled his sneakers on and started to gather their trash into a large plastic bag, then proceeded to walk the short trail that would lead him towards the road and the area where their vehicles were parked.

He threw the garbage bag into the back of Bella's truck and was about to head back when he noticed movement in Scout's vehicle. With furrowed brows he tried to peer in to get a better look, and it was then he realized the movement was from Scout himself as he sat behind the wheel cursing the cell phone in his hand.

Both men had done their best to stay out of each other's way for the past two days and Sean had been quite proud that he managed to keep himself in line around the shorter man, but for some reason he felt compelled to reach out and tap on the glass.

''Hey,'' he said. ''Did a lady bug corner you in your tent and force you to seek refuge out here?''

''Huh?'' Scout asked loudly, his voice muffled through the barrier that was the door. He pressed a button inside the vehicle and quickly the glass began to slide down. ''What was that?''

''Nothing. What are you doing out here?'' Sean asked through a yawn.

Scout looked to be thrown by such a straight-forward question. ''Uhhh, I was trying to make a phone call,'' he raised his hand and wiggled his small cell. ''But my coverage is iffy.''

Sean made a thoughtful noise. ''I think it depends on your carrier. Bella's cell has signal out here. We used it to call home and say goodnight to Matthew yesterday.'' He jabbed a thumb in the general direction of camp. ''You can borrow it to make your phone call if you want.''

''Nah, it's fine. Thanks, though.'' It was such a mundane exchange and yet Scout looked even more thrown by such civility.

He began opening his door to step out, and Sean took a few steps back to allow him the space. Eventually his back met the passenger's side door of Bella's vehicle and he relaxed against it, folding his arms as Scout leaned himself against the driver's side door of his own car. They both went silent for several moments, kicking dirt around their feet and listening to each other clear their throats.

''You know,'' Scout started awkwardly, ''when I agreed to come out here I thought...I thought I'd have to come face to face with that guy I had to steer clear of all throughout high-school. Hothead Sean. I was so sure I'd spend this weekend dodging punches and insults from him. You. I mean... what happened to that guy?''

Sean tried not to take the observation as an insult. After all, it was true. While they had claimed 'no hard feelings' after their return from Carson as young men, they indeed spent the rest of their shared time in New Rawley glaring at each other from opposite sides of the street. For the most part they carefully avoided any and all interaction despite their ties to both Bella and Will.

''He mellowed out,'' Sean answered, uncomfortable.

''Repeat viewings of Veggie Tales will probably do that to a person.''

''It's a little too early for insults don't you think? Is that, like, some dig at me?''

''No, not at all. I just assume you have to sit through hours of that kind of stuff. You know, being a father and all.'' The shorter man laughed despite the awkwardness. ''It's just that you've been really, uncharacteristically calm so far this weekend and it's a little disconcerting. I figured your transformation either had to be summed up by some religious conversation or parenthood.''

''I guess I feel like I have less to worry about now when it comes to you.''

Scout nodded wordlessly.

''Do I?'' Sean asked. ''Have something to worry about?''

''...When we were kids I had you completely pegged as this townie caveman who could only communicate through chest-thumping and grunts, but I realized something this weekend. I realized a lot of things, actually and one of them is... I was wrong about you.'' Scout looked away and scratched his ear, as if aware of how unmanly his outpouring sounded. ''I always used to tell Bella that she could do better, and I guess she knew what she was doing when she refused to listen to me. Because you're still here.''

Sean raised an eyebrow and searched for meaning in the other man's tone. The last thing he felt like doing was involving himself in some verbal tug of war with Scout over his affections for Bella. But as quickly as these concerns arose Scout started to bumble on, quelling them.

''So no,'' said Scout. ''You don't have anything to worry about. Maybe you never did. Either way, since it's my last day here, I wanted to say thanks for, you know, the whole not punching my lights out thing.''

Sean dipped his head, silently, stoically standing his ground and accepting the other man's words. He wasn't quite sure how to respond, other than with a polite smile.

''I think this is the longest we've ever talked without one of us getting hit in the face,'' Scout commented.

Sean laughed again, except this time it was real, and loud and with ease. ''I could throw one at you if you really want to visit memory lane.''

''Yeah, no thank you. I'm good.''

''Are you sure?''

''Definitely.''

''Well,'' Sean grinned. ''Don't say I never offered.''

---------------------

Strips of morning sunlight filtered through the blinds and Jake groaned as she tried to lift her left arm and place it over her face. She quickly realized this was impossible as said arm was somehow trapped under Hamilton, who laid to her side. After struggling to remove it she relaxed again and began to study his form; the eyelids which fluttered gently in sleep, the tiny indentations of his chests.

Eventually she recalled how she came to be cooped up in a Rawley dorm. She hadn't expected the events of the previous night at all, but then again, she hadn't expected anything of this weekend. Not the ring, not the fight, not the truce that came after it and certainly not the conversation on the dock. And then there was the shower.

She had surprised even herself during the shower. Inviting him to join her wasn't something she had planned, but then she saw him standing there outside the stall, cautiously keeping his distance as if she were a finicky cat who at any minute would flee the scene. He was, in his own way, trying to give her space. She knew he was doing it for her benefit, to make her feel more comfortable, but it still bothered her. She didn't want him tip-toeing around her, or the subject, just to please her. So the kiss and everything that came after it was her way of telling him, showing him, that he had no need, no reason to be wary of her.

''Sleep well?'' he asked, his eyes still closed. Her movement had obviously woken him, though not entirely.

''Yeah,'' she said, glancing over him one last time before propping herself up against the headboard.

A few seconds later he followed suit, alerting himself by rubbing his eyes and stretching muscles. They ended up sitting in silence for a while, and Jake was unsure of what to say with the giant elephant in the room. He was apparently as at a loss as she was because he suddenly stepped out of the bed, clad in his boxers, and announced he was going in search of coffee in the nearby teacher's lounge down the hall. Within seconds he was out of the door and she was left laying there, her words caught in her throat.

She banged the back of her head on the board behind her lightly before forcing herself to rise out of bed. Slowly, she slipped back into her outfit from the previous day and then began gathering Hamilton's clothing nearby, but paused when his digital camera fell out of his cargo shorts and onto the hardwood floor. She reached down for it and took a seat at the foot of the bed and went about inspecting it, looking for damage and turning it on to make sure it hadn't been broken. Soon the LCD screen of his camera came to life and with a press of a button she began scrolling through the selection of photos stored on the memory card.

There were many shots of the lake and woods as well as other random, frozen moments from the first day. A solitary Scout dozing peacefully in a chair, bathed in sunlight and oblivious to the goings on around him. Someone's blurred sneakers. Will and Bella standing at the grill and pulling exaggerated faces for the camera as a thin cloud of smoke wafted up towards their noses. Sean with his hand above his head, having just released a football into the air, apparently participating in a game of catch with someone unseen. Various shots of everyone around the campfire that first night, and the lake the next morning. Then finally Jake herself half squinting, half smiling at Hamilton behind the camera as she sat in the middle of the deserted camp grounds.

She pressed on towards the next photo on the device, but it simply went back to a shot of the previous Friday. Apparently, her picture had been the last of the bunch and he hadn't taken a single photo since their fight. With a deep breath she turned the camera off and slipped it back into one of his pockets, where she also discovered a zip-lock bag of crackers. Amused, she wrinkled her brow. So he _had_ been carrying food around with him yesterday, she thought. There was something so child-like about his snacking habits she couldn't help but find it sweet. She spent a few moments smiling down at the small bag before placing it aside and searching yet another compartment.

She wasn't completely sure why she started a search for it; the ring. She tried to tell herself that it was simple curiosity, but she was also keen to see if when studying it up close had a reaction to it, or more importantly, what it was meant to symbolize. With little effort she found the ring box and opened it, and in the next second closed it.

''Egh,'' she groaned; her nerves getting the better of her. She contemplated for a few seconds if she should even be touching it after all that had transpired. And anyway, she _had_ seen it briefly in the tent the day before. Of course she had been too frazzled by the situation to even fully recognize what was going on, let alone the ring itself.

With that she was able to convince herself that there was nothing wrong with wanting to look at it properly, at least once, she told herself. Once. And so she did. Opening the small black box, she was pleased to see that what was held inside of it wasn't excessive, or posh, or unnecessary. The band was simplistic, yet beautiful. It felt like...her, and she was warmed that Hamilton knew her personality enough to understand what suited her. It really wasn't all that surprising, though, considering he had made it this far.

He was still at her side after countless arguments, dramatics and freak-outs throughout the last few years, and even prior to that when they had been together as teenagers. Not everyone could have found it in themselves to deal, yet somehow he had. All this time. Not only that, he was either brave enough, or crazy enough to want to sign up for a lifetime of this. Of them. Of her. And again she had to smile, smile at the absurdity, at his willingness to fully give himself over to her when she was such - as much as she hated to admit it - a spaz, a headache, a basketcase.

Because it was one thing to be a basketcase, but it was an entirely different matter to fall in love with one. Who in their right mind would do such a thing? People always thought she was the odd one out of the pair, but really, if one were to think about it, he was even more strange than she was because he put up with her. And yet he never acted as if that's what he was doing; putting up with her. He never played it off like their relationship was a burden or hardship. Clearly he was insane, she deduced light heartedly

But as much as all these thoughts warmed her she was quick to stuff the ring box back into his shorts and toss them to the floor when she heard him rattle the doorknob. She tried to play innocent as he, awkwardly holding two cups of coffee, re-entered the room.

''Smells good.'' She took a cup from him and thanked him with a single nod.

''As much as I'd like to take credit for the coffee,_ I _didn't actually make it,'' he explained as he took a seat at her side.

''Then who did? I thought you said campus was deserted.''

''It is. Except for the groundskeeper. Apparently, during summer session he gets up every morning and checks the locks to make sure nothing's been tampered with, after which he always treats himself to a fancy coffee from the machine in the teacher's lounge. He sends his best, by the way.''

''Did he ask you what you were doing...with no clothes on?'' she waved to his boxers.

''Not really. I could tell from the look on his face. Plus he saw me make _two_ cups of coffee, which probably gave him all sorts of ideas. He pretty much thinks I used the school building as the setting for some weird sexual escapade last night. He didn't look too pleased, but don't fret, I made him a deal. He wouldn't embarrass me by telling my parents if we, in turn, buy him the entire series of Felicity on DVD. When we get back home remind me to visit Ebay, will you?''

''Will do.''

''I'm glad that we had last night though,'' he said, staring down into his coffee.

''Are you talking about our conversation on the dock, or...the shower?''

''In all honesty, both. What we said on the dock made things a little more clearer for me, but the shower was... I know we didn't-but it was-and you were so...it was nice is what I'm trying to say,'' he stammered as if the memories of it overwhelmed him. ''Not that it isn't always nice. More than nice actually. So far beyond nice. It's just...it was a really good shower.''

''I'm not quite sure what you just said, but me too,'' she said. It wasn't the most romantic remark, but it got the point across. It meant just as much to her as it did to him.

So when he leaned over and kissed her then she was happy to accept it. It wasn't rushed, or intense, or even all that long. In fact it was quite timid. She knew what he was doing. It's what he always did after arguments. He was being unnecessarily gentle with her and her emotions, not wanting to tear down the bridge they had just recently rebuilt together.

''What do you say we put everything else on hold, meet up with the guys and try to salvage the rest of our trip?'' he asked, hopeful. ''We came out here to have fun, so...let's have fun. We can deal with the rest later.''

She merely dipped her head in agreement while he stood, set his drink aside and went about putting his clothes back on. She didn't pretend to do anything other than watch. After all, the only real reason she had even agreed to take the trip out here was the prospect of possibly seeing him walk around for a few days shirtless, but she was willing to settle for a few minutes if nothing else.

''Turn around,'' he said, acting embarrassed at his state of undress, holding a shirt over his boxer shorts.

''Yeah, because you're Mr. Modesty,'' she cracked, not about to turn away, then carried on in a teasing tone, ''Go on, get dressed, no one's stopping you. Just, you know, go slow.''

She gave him a thumbs up and he pulled a face in response before sliding his tee back on.


	6. Chapter 6

-1

Back in the woods, in one of the tents Will had just woken up. A family of birds in a nearby tree had begun squawking loudly at each other and refused to let up and the horrible taste in his mouth only added to his annoyance so he pulled himself upright and with his eyes still half closed began feeling around, searching for any stray bottle of water that might be lying about on the floor. When he thought he found one he pulled on it, which resulted in 'it' kicking at him lightly.

''That's my foot,'' Bella groaned from the other side of the tent.

''Sorry.'' Will finally opened his eyes properly and shook his head, trying to make himself more alert. ''Looking for water.''

Bella slowly sat up and tossed him a bottle she had near her pillow. It was warm, but at that point he didn't care. He quickly drank half of it before offering it back to her, only for her to wave it away.

''My head is killing me and I feel like carpet,'' Will groaned.

''I've never had a hangover, but come with me,'' she said, slowly making her way out of the plastic shelter and wincing as the sunlight hit her face. ''I have some caffeine laced chocolate. It's not exactly what one would call the breakfast of champions, but it might wake you up.''

Groggily, he followed her out until they both managed to stand upright, under the sun. He watched as she poked around the area until she found the remains of a half eaten chocolate bar. She broke off a small piece for herself and threw the rest of it at him.

''I hope I wasn't too much of a pain last night,'' he said, tearing into the treat.

Not bothering with the chairs, she took a seat on the ground and patted the area at her side, inviting him to sit with her. ''No, you were only mildly intoxicated so the most Sean and I had to put up with was your constant proclamations of love for us. Thankfully, I was spared your rendition of The Golden Girls theme song, which according to Sean, was quite moving.''

''Ahhh,'' he laughed and situated himself on the ground next to her. ''I've only been drunk once in my life. Twice, if you count that lawnmower thing. Last night I was having a good long think, about life, and that damn book of mine. God, I was acting like...like...''

''Like Will Krudski,'' she said.

''I'm probably setting myself up for a complete let down, but I'm going to go ahead and get this over with and ask if you've gotten a chance to read my book?'' he asked, not expecting much of a response.

''I have. I finished it just last week,'' Bella answered nonchalantly.

''Really?'' he squeaked, surprised. ''Well, what do you think?

''I'm not much of a creative writer. It was never my strong point in school and I didn't really branch out when I took those few college courses. Plus after that one tragic attempt at Buffy fanfiction in my childhood, never again I said.''

''I hope to God you're joking.''

''In my defense, I was thirteen. Really, Will, I don't know what you want to hear. I know you put your heart into it and I feel that.''

His smile fell. He didn't feel frustrated by her comment, and neither did he feel defensiveness. Not anymore. He was simply curious to know what felt missing from the book, knowing he could trust the answer since it came from the one person who had actually bothered to finish reading it. ''But...what?'' he asked.

''At the end of the book, the poor, little protagonist - you- graduates and rides off into the sunset to start a life outside of the little dinky town he's always called home. The end. The whole thing just feels like one half of a story.''

He nodded, thankful for her truthfulness. ''I guess I haven't come as far as I thought. I felt good about coming out here, you know. But then, seeing everyone, realizing that they're doing what they want with their lives, and I'm still that boy, running behind, trying to catch up.''

''God, Will, you think entirely too much. First of all, success doesn't automatically equate to fulfillment. And secondly, no one lives by the same timetable. There's no race, and if there is it's only with yourself. Don't you get it?''

''Get what?'' he asked. ''It's been awhile. Expel some townie logic on me.''

She gestured to the perfectly clear sky above them. ''Winter pays for summer,'' she said.

He raised his head, urging her to go on.

''Winters,'' she began with a shrug and tucked a strand of hair behind an ear. ''We all have to weather them. Those periods of life where nothing goes how you imagined. Either someone lets you down, you let someone else down, or you let yourself down. We all get our hearts broken by someone or something, somehow, and we're left to brave this...sort of... emotional winter. Yours might be longer than mine. Mine might be longer than Jake's. Hers might be longer than Sean's. It's just life. Everyone experiences a cold season, but the thing about seasons is they always change and this, whatever it is you're feeling now, it will too. It's easy to think that you're the only one who's ever experienced a harsh winter, but we all have. Everybody here's got a story to tell.''

He chewed in silence for a long while, looking around the site, the lake and the dock in front of it as it gently bobbed above the water level. ''God, look at you, all grown up, handing down life lessons,'' he teased.

''My point is,'' she said, rolling her eyes at his remark, ''your story's not even half finished, so don't try to write it down and make sense of it now. Not yet.''

''Thanks, Bella,'' he said, warmed by her words.

''Now get over yourself, Krudski,'' she chirped playfully. ''This is supposed to be my mini-vacation and I can't be spending what little that's left of it holding your hand and drying your tears.''

They made faces at each other until they were joined by Scout and Sean who were involved in what looked to be a casual and pleasant conversation. Naturally, Will and Bella were alarmed.

''Morning,'' Bella said to the two men hesitantly, as if waiting for them to make an outburst and punch each other in the neck. They simply replied with 'mornings' of their own.

''Is everything okay?'' Will asked his male friends.

''Yeah,'' Scout said, looking just as surprised by his answer as everyone else. ''Sean gave me more of that deer jerky. Gotta say once you get used to it it's not that bad.''

Bella smiled, relieved. ''Where's your crew anyway, Scout?''

''Jake and Hamilton never made it back last night,'' said the short man. ''Maybe they ran into one of those axe-wielding psychos Pratt was talking about Friday.''

''That or they found other accommodations for the night,'' said Sean, nodding his head towards said couple as they were just barely making their way towards the campsite.

Unlike the others, who were still bleary eyed and disheveled, Jake and Hamilton were wide awake, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Although the couple still wore their clothes from the previous day, they somehow looked remarkably refreshed. Whatever tension that existed from the previous day had apparently waned as they walked together, side by side, arms brushing against the other's. Hamilton was even chippy enough to twirl Sean's baseball cap around one of his fingers.

''Aw, look at the little love birds,'' said Scout to his tent mates as they arrived at the site.

''Don't start Calhoun,'' Jake warned, lightly, playfully shoving the short man's shoulder.

''Where have you two been?'' Sean asked, nabbing his hat back.

''Around,'' Hamilton answered coyly.

Bella spared the couple an interrogation by asking, ''So, what's the plan for today?''

Will checked his watch briefly before addressing the group. ''It's noon. We woke up late so we only have a few hours to really enjoy ourselves before we have to start packing the gear up.''

''Whatever we do, I need a shower because I feel disgusting,'' Bella yawned.

''You look it, too,'' Scout noted, nodding at her unruly hair and what appeared to be impressions of a sleeping bag along the side of her face. ''Scared of that.''

''Watch it there,'' Sean said, sniffing the air. ''You're not so fresh, either. You smell like stale bug spray. Don't anyone stand near Scout on a down wind. I think it's safe to say that we all reek. Or most of us do, anyway.''

The group sniffed in the general direction of Jake and Hamilton, who they all quickly concluded smelled fresh and flowery.

''Maybe we should just go ahead and clear the gear away and go back to my station. We can take turns getting cleaned up,'' suggested Bella, and the others quickly piped up, talking over each other. Some in agreement, others not yet wanting to leave.

Will, on the other hand, turned his gaze out to the lake that had managed to inspire him as a young man. For him it had always been a constant symbol of possibility and freedom. Something overcame him and in no time he broke out into a jubilant jog, leaving the group to trade bemused smiles as he shed clothing down the path. He eventually leapt into the body of water wearing only his shorts. Bella, realizing a temporary solution to their shower problem, tagged Sean's elbow and together they ran after their friend, stripping down to their underwear as they went until they, too, entered the lake.

Jake, Scout, Hamilton stared as the others shouted for them to follow. ''What in the world are they doing?'' Hamilton asked.

''Recapturing their youth?'' Jake offered. ''That is more of Will than I ever wanted to see.''

''You and me both,'' said Hamilton, squinting at the tall, pale boy off in the distance.

Then slowly and without him noticing the couple moved and positioned themselves just so, on either side of Scout. All the while they're eyebrows were raised at each other as if conducting a session of mind-reading.

''What?'' asked the man in the middle, delivering sideway glances to each of his old classmates.

Before he could protest, the couple were taking hold of his arms and practically carrying him as they made a mad dash to the dock near the clearing. Within seconds they were at the edge flinging a fully clothed Scout out into the water while the others urged them on. He yelped in shock briefly before he sank beneath the surface only to reemerge and glare at his tormentors, who were too busy high-fiving each other, relishing in his discomfort.

''Are you two going to get in on this or what?'' Bella asked, slapping a bit of water at her side.

The couple looked to each other and shrugged, deciding to join the others in the spirit of the moment. They began to shed their own outerwear until they too dove into the lake wearing their skivvies. Soon they were floating with the others, heads bobbing just above the water level as their arms moved languidly at their sides.

''Do either of you have any idea how much this ensemble cost?!'' a very displeased Scout started to wrestle himself out of his clingy, wet shirt.

''Nice rack, Calhoun,'' Jake teased, causing the others to snicker. ''I'm impressed.''

''Hey man,'' Sean cupped a hand to the side of his mouth and hollered over to Scout, ''If you ask me Jake's just giving you a hard time because she's envious. Clearly, she isn't as blessed in that area.''

''Burn,'' Bella said teasingly to her female friend then thinking better of it, she turned to her husband and slapped water at him. ''And what are you doing looking at her chest anyway?''

''What? It's not like I was interested in what I saw,'' Sean assured.

''Hey,'' said Jake, mocking offense.

None to pleased with the topic at hand Hamilton gripped Sean's bare shoulder and pushed him under the surface of the water for several seconds before allowing him back up. Will and Scout joined in on the ruckus, and the men were then transformed into a tangle of limbs as they rough-housed with one another.

Nearly naked men were play-fighting in front of her and Jake could only watch in awe and amusement. ''If this were a movie it'd totally be called 'Return to Lake Homoerotica'.''

''That should be the title for Will's next manuscript,'' Bella said, equally as transfixed.

''I like how you think,'' Jake added.

Having caught wind of the conversation and not at all amused by it the men were quick to disentangle themselves momentarily in order to drag the women into the middle of the commotion. And just like that it seemed like the excitement and mirth that many of them had felt at the start of the weekend had returned. The six began frolicking and splashing about with one another as they floated together in their very own fountain of youth.

--------------------

The group had carried on in the water for some time until they eventually tired themselves out. Later, when they emerged the men began to dry off and change their clothing outside in the middle of camp as Bella and Jake took to using one of the tents as their own dressing room. The two young women both slipped into new outfits rather quickly, though Bella seemed to be drawing out the process of brushing her hair as Jake, having already tended to her own locks, lounged on her side a few feet away.

''I can't believe you're reading this.'' She picked up a novel from Bella's belongings as if it were a dirty rag. ''The Time Traveler's Wife? God, you're such a housewife.''

''Hey, it's a serious piece of fiction.''

''If you say so, but don't let Will see you with that in your hands unless you're prepared to hear a long winded speech about how he despises chick-lit,'' Jake cracked. ''You know, I still can't believe he got smashed last night. I didn't think he'd have that in him. It just seems so un-Will, but then again for someone who claims he doesn't want to be pitied he sure spends plenty of time making sure everyone knows how unhappy he is.''

''It's hard for him,'' explained Bella. ''He spent his entire life in New Rawley dreaming of a way out, and when he finally made his escape he realized that life outside of this town was much more complicated and difficult than he ever thought it would be. It's easy to dream. Anyone can dream. It's another thing to live out those dreams. Whatever it was that was bothering him looks like it's now working it's way out of his system. He seemed to get something out of that swim in the lake. Plus Sean told me he gave him a good talking to last night.''

''Yeah, Sean gave me one too,'' said Jake, still stunned at the calm insight he provided. ''So, what exactly did you and Scout do last night while we were all on campus?''

''Um,'' Bella coughed awkwardly, adjusting to the sudden change of topic. ''Scout and I just hung out around the fire.''

''And? You're really not going to tell me what's up between the two of you?''

Bella shrugged and tossed her hairbrush to the side. ''I told you, there's nothing to tell. We sat around the fire for awhile then the guys came back and Scout and I had to cut our conversation short yet again. End of story, and a rather uninteresting one at that. Why don't you tell me what you and Hamilton were doing last night? When you guys didn't come back I figured you two were either off somewhere making up or drowning each other in the lake.''

''Can't say I didn't think about the latter a few times throughout Saturday, but the headline 'Woman Drowns Dean's Son in front of Elite Prep School' would probably put a real damper on Rawley tourism.''

''Or give it a boost.''

''Really, though, Hamilton and I had a long talk out there and just decided to spend the night on campus somewhere, in an actual bed. But as for the whole ring matter we agreed to put the subject on hold. We were tired and drained and, I don't know. I think he's afraid of what my answer will be. He's being really gentle with me now, which is kind of bugging the crap out of me to tell you the truth. He hasn't even brought up the ring or marriage or anything today.''

''Good,'' she chirped, and Jake scrunched up her face. ''What, what's the problem now? Why the face? I thought that's what you wanted, time to think.''

''Well, it was. Or I thought it was until this morning.''

''What happened this morning?'' Bella asked, raising a suggestive eyebrow. ''Is he _that_ good-owww!'' She yelped when her book came flying at her face, though she was quick to slap it out of the way. ''Hey, that's a hardcover. Watch it.''

''I'm serious,'' said Jake as she sat up properly and crossed her legs. ''Like, okay, say that I somehow know what it is exactly that I want, only now he's trying to show me how patient he is by avoiding the subject completely. What now?''

''Why not just come right out and tell him?''

''Would that be weird? Technically, he hasn't even asked me. It would just be odd of me-''

''What isn't odd of you?''

''- to blurt it out of nowhere. Plus, I know Hamilton. He's just going to be pissed off at me and after the bust up we had yesterday I don't want that. I don't need him freaking out on me again because his expectations are meant _to the letter_.''

''You guys make things entirely too difficult for yourselves. If you ever have a child I pray the kid doesn't inherit either of your personalities, or ears. You and Hamilton both have jacked-up ears. Have you ever noticed that?''

''Hand me back that book of yours so I can throw it at you again,'' deadpanned Jake.

Their shoulders shook with silent laughter, but when their mirth waned and they were able to catch their breath Bella was the one to speak.

''Listen, Jake,'' she began, ''I might've leaned towards Hamilton's side yesterday, but you know I do have your back however this turns out. I guess I got a little excited by the prospect of a wedding. I don't know, when Grace and I were younger she and I never talked boys, and we never talked future. To tell you the truth we never talked a lot of things. I regret that. I mean, I should've tried harder with her...''

Jake went somber. ''You did try. She probably did too. You don't know why she left. It might not have been because of a lack of trying.''

Bella shook her head about, as if willing herself not to get too emotional over the memories. Jake herself recalled that period of time. Upon learning of Grace's abrupt departure she had rearranged her schedule in order to visit her friend and to, if nothing else, lend an ear to Bella as well as Sean. She had never had a sibling of her own and she could only imagine what it would be like for one to walk out of her life as Bella's had.

''Don't go there,'' Jake said gently, ''don't question yourself. You can spend half your life trying to turn the other half around.''

''What I'm trying to say is, I'll probably never get to do a lot of those sisterly things with Grace and yesterday when you mentioned the ring I thought it'd be nice to at least have those moments with someone, you. You know, helping you decide on how to wear your hair, bitching about my dress, that whole deal.''

''You do know if that's what it comes down to with Hamilton, I'd want you to be a part of it in some way.''

''You don't have to say that,'' Bella assured kindly. ''Come on, you and Hamilton both have your life back in New York. I have mine here. We all have new, different circles of friends. I'm sure you have a few people back in the city that could fill the position.''

''Sure I do, but certain friendships stick, even when they stop making sense. It stopped making sense a long time ago, but you're still my friend, still Hamilton's friend. And anyway, you know how I love my bike, and where the hell else am I going to find a mechanic that I trust?''

''Yeah?''

''Yeah. Good ones are hard to come by,'' Jake said, trying to downplay her gesture by changing the subject. ''Now if you don't mind, I'm going to head out and help the guys start clearing up.''

''Hey, Jake?'' Bella called out, making her halt her exit. ''This thing with Hamilton...just tell him, one way or another. Don't be such a girl about it. Man-up.''

Quite aware she was never going to live the cross-dressing days down, Jake rolled her eyes at the wording and nodded. ''Point taken.''

-----------------------

After having gotten into fresh clothes the group had decided that rather than filling up on more junk food it would be more enjoyable to dine at Friendly's in town before they all eventually departed at the end of the evening. Once in agreement they started the process of clearing away the camping equipment and loading it, piece by peice into the back of Bella's truck. This required each of them to make a few trips back and forth through the trail, from the vehicles to the camp grounds.

Jake and Hamilton were doing their part by hauling the large, heavy ice chest through the pathway. Their walk was slow as every few seconds Hamilton, who was carrying his end while also walking backwards, would look over to Jake, who was walking forwards, towards him.

''Don't these big ones usually have wheels?'' she asked, wincing.

''Usually, but this one looks like it was made in the 50's as you can tell from the metal handles and the lovely avacado green coloring,'' he smarted.

Once they arrived at the vehicles they set the cooler down and wiggled their hands about, relieving them from the strain. Meanwhile, nodding as they went Will, who had just carried forth and packed the small grill, and Scout, who very cautiously held his sleeping bag like a dirty rag until he was able to toss it into his car trunk, passed them up and headed back down the trail to collect yet another item to bring back and pack up.

After the men were out of sight Hamilton quietly started talking. She had noticed that he had been doing his best to avoid bringing up the fight or the reason it had started since they had woken up in the dorm together. While she had appreciated that he wasn't pressuring her into an answer anymore she was uncomfortable with simply acting as if nothing had occurred which was why she was pleased that it seemed he was finally coming around to addressing the matter. Unfortunately all the information the conversation yielded was that he was regretful of the harsh words he had aimed at Will the day before and was intent on making up for them.

''If we're going to Friendly's, do you mind taking Scout while I hitch a ride with Will?'' he asked.

''What...you serious?''

''Unfortunately, I am. I need to patch something up with Will real quick, and it'd be a lot easier if I don't have Scout in the backseat cracking jokes. I don't want to force him off on Sean and Bella because that might be awkward for him so if you take him I can ride with Will and we can meet you there.''

''Wow...you're _really_ trying to avoid me now, aren't you?'' she asked, amused and confused by his change in behavior.

''What?'' he asked, his voice high for some reason. ''I am so not avoiding you.''

''Well, maybe not me, but you're avoiding last night.''

''Oh, no, trust me,'' he interjected happily, ''Today I've been replaying certain events of last night in my mind nonstop.''

''Come on, you know what I mean,'' she said, urging him to be serious. ''It's like you're trying to stall now. Don't get me wrong, it was nice putting it out of mind for awhile and just having fun with everyone else, but...okay, I'm the last person who should ever say this to anyone, but _you're being weird_. Nice, sweet, caring weird, but weird nonetheless.''

''Well, _you would_ know weird when you see it.''

''And I do see it,'' she said. ''You're tip toeing around me and you don't need to be. Look, I'm really glad that you're not upset with me anymore, but I also don't want you to pretend to be happy with waiting just for my benefit.''

''I'm not pretending to be anything,'' he said. ''I just figure fighting you on this isn't going to get me anywhere. I see that now. But I really do have something to clear up with Will and I want to get that out of the way before we leave. I've been a really crappy boyfriend this weekend and I don't want to be a crappy friend, too.''

''Okay,'' she said with a nod and left it at that.

A short time later the others came along. As everyone began to pair off in order to depart the area, Jake mentioned to Scout that he could ride with her if he liked. He, along with the others, raised an eyebrow and waited for the punch line that never came.

''Yeah, right,'' said Scout. ''I've been the butt of the jokes this weekend. You guys have made fun of my walking stick, my bug spray, my man boobs, which, by the way, I don't even have, and then you finish off this glorious weekend by dumping me in the lake.''

''You forgot about the receding hairline bit,'' Jake said with a straight face.

''There's no way I'm getting on a bike with you, Pratt,'' Scout - who in all seriousness still possessed a full head of hair- said, obviously fearing another prank.

''Come on,'' she urged. ''Truce. I'll be gentle with you. I promise you'll even have fun.''

The short man looked to the others apprehensively, but was somehow able to pick up on the fact that Hamilton wanted to smooth things over with Will. With a sigh Scout gave in and accepted the helmet Jake held out to him. He tossed Hamilton the keys to his BMW and after being instructed on how to sit on the back of the bike properly he notified the others, ''If Jake manages to kill me make sure she's prosecuted to the fullest extent.''

With that they were off followed then by Bella and Sean and two remaining men came to stand on opposite sides of Scout's vehicle; Hamilton on the driver's side while Will was against the passenger's side, his arms folded onto the roof of the car.

''You wanna drive?'' Hamilton jiggled the keys, hoping Will would see it as a peace offering, a sort of apology for his words from the previous day.

Will shook his head, showing little interest and Hamilton had to exhale. He knew he had to bridge the gap between them before the end of the day and his old classmate wasn't making it any easier.

''Look, man,'' said Hamilton wearily, ''about yesterday, I wasn't being harsh because I hated your book or think you're a hack. I was pissed off about something and I took it out on you. It wasn't cool _and_ I'm sorry.''

''Don't be,'' Will said, embarrassed. ''I was the one who blew up at you. Obviously you don't owe me any kind of praise and I shouldn't have expected it from you, or anyone.''

''Still, I shouldn't have been so harsh.''

''If I didn't want the truth I shouldn't have asked for it. I needed to hear that, if anything.''

''So then we cool?'' Hamilton asked cautiously.

''Totally,'' Will assured with a closed mouth smile.

With a nod they both began tucking themselves into the car and buckling up. ''And, dude, just to prove how much I don't hate your book, if you want I could pass it on to Jake's mom. Monica's chummy with a few publishers. I can't make promises, but she might be able to get a few important people to look at it for you.''

''Thanks. Really. But I've never really been big on hand-outs.''

''Who said it was a hand-out, man? I've heard the spiel before, and it's stupid. When someone offers you something, it isn't a hand-out. It's an opportunity. They're meant to be taken advantage of. You're only cheating yourself if you don't.''

''You're right and maybe one day I will take advantage. But not today and,'' Will paused to reach down and grab Scout's tattered and creased print out of his book on the passengers side floor, ''not with this book. This book should go in the vault for awhile while I work my head out. As for my whole writing career, I'm going to have patience. ...Pati.''

''What?'' he asked, thoroughly confused.

''Pati. Latin root. Passion and patience are stemmed from it, which is fitting because true passion isn't always about getting what you want when you want it,'' said Will, running his hands over the front page, over his name, over the bundle of papers that detailed his youth. ''Real passion is little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It isn't always about feeling good. Sometimes it's all about endurance. Anybody can say they're passionate about something, but you can only be certain of it when that something that you're after is just out of reach. Only then do you get to see what they're made of. Most people give up and turn back, but the passionate? The passionate are stedfast.''

''You'll have to forgive me. Remember, I take pictures for a living. Stedfast?''

''It means you...you stand firm. Unwavering in your devotion to whatever it is I'm after,'' Will explained further, thinking absolutely nothing of it. ''I may never get what I want. None of us may ever get what we want. But as long as we're chasing it...well, that counts for something.''

''Mmm,'' Hamilton made a thoughtful noise as he started the engine.

He also let Will's little outpouring sink in and actually found some kind of understanding of it and what it meant for himself. He never actually thought he'd ever get anything out of one of Will's musings, which he'd been subjected to throughout high school too many times to count. But this time his friend's words actually made him give thought to his own notion of what it meant to be passionate, of what it meant to be committed.

He had respected Jake's individuality when she applied it in every other facet of her life, and he knew he couldn't very well change his tune to suit his needs. If his master design didn't somehow align with her own he'd find a way for them to construct a brand new one that would satisfy both of their wants, because in the end better was one day with her than thousands elsewhere.

What if instead of a ring or a vow, the ultimate sign of devotion was to carry on with her now, just as they were? He wondered if that was what she had been trying to tell him all along. That they didn't need the world's conventions because she trusted him to the point of finding it all unnecessary, superfluous. He had always made it known to her that she had his heart, and maybe it was because she had such faith in that fact that she simply felt no need for proof.

''Yo...Ham. You gonna drive or what?'' Will spoke up as they sat in the running car.

''What? Yeah,'' Hamilton replied quickly and more loudly than was necessary, then started them out onto the road, after the others.

---------------------

Jake and Scout were the first to arrive into the center of town. They came to park at the gas station and a very frightened Scout dismounted from the backseat, clearly anxious to feel the ground beneath his feet. She, meanwhile, pulled her helmet off, shook her hair loose and winced as she listened to him sputter. Quickly she reached into her pocket and produced a handful of bills to the young male station attendant standing nearby, instructing him to fill up the tank while she checked on her friend. With a nod and smile he quickly went about the task, leaving them to have their conversation.

''Good Lord, that thing could give someone a heart attack,'' coughed Scout, who was clearly rattled as he bent forward and placed his hands on his knees and attempted to catch his breath.

She laid a hand on his back and patted lightly, rolling her eyes the entire time. ''Dude, we were barely going fifty miles per hour. There's no reason to pee your pants.''

''Well, that speed feels faster on a bike because you're closer to the ground,'' Scout sputtered.

Once he gathered himself he was able to stand upright and bashfully nod his thanks for her display of concern. He smiled goofily at her for some time, and she was slightly thrown by the warmth he was showing.

''Uh...if you're about to confess your love for me I'll have to stop you now,'' she said sarcastically, holding up a hand in protest.

''Yeah, in your dreams, Pratt,'' Scout laughed and lightly slapped her hand down. ''I was looking at you because...well, you really remind me of someone I know back home. A girl.''

Jake raised a single eyebrow, intrigued. ''Ah, girlfriend?''

''Yeah, she's my fiancé,'' he said quickly, then retracted, ''Well, my ex-fiancé. God, why do I keep doing that.''

Jake nodded politely and noted the verbal misstep. ''Oh. I see. The Ex.''

''Beth. Her name's Beth,'' he said quietly and with affection.

''So, what, same nose or something?''

''No. You're...what's the word? ... Challenging. She is too, except in an entirely different and less annoying way. She has this way of, of keeping you on your feet. You're alike in that way. I guess seeing that in you reminded me of how much I miss that in her.''

''Why, Calhoun, you just keep unfolding like a flower,'' Jake said nonchalantly as she came to sit on the bench beneath the carport.

Scout looked over to the sign in front of the station that clearly read Bella's name across it and she followed his gaze.

''So are you still in love with her or what?''

Scout turned around, thrown by her forwardness. ''You've never gone about anything in a subtle way, have you?''

''Once you've cross-dressed subtly is the first thing to go out the window.''

He forced an airy laugh, and after several moments of hesitation he pushed the frog in his throat aside and asked, ''Are you asking if I'm still in love with my ex...or Bella?''

''You tell me.''

He shook his head and bit his lip, not about to give himself away, but it was pretty clear to Jake that whatever it was he was feeling and whoever it was he was feeling it for had somehow lifted his spirits. Standing before her wasn't the same grouchy Scout she had shook hands with a few days earlier and she was pleased for him.

''So,'' he said light-heartedly, moving the conversation off of himself and taking a seat at her side, ''I take it you and the old lady-''

''You mean Hamilton?''

''-patched things up, huh? Does this mean you guys won't mind if I give you a ring next month when I'm in New York on business? You can both josh me over brunch but then you're taking me to a sporting goods store and buying me a new sleeping bag because thanks to you guys I'm now afraid to touch mine.''

She tried to fight the smile on her face, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of laughing at a joke aimed at herself.

''Rest assured we'll replace your sleeping bag with a new one. As for Hamilton and I, we'll be fine. We've survived half a dozen break-ups and at this point we've pretty much come to terms with the fact that we're doomed for each other.''

''What? You mean your life isn't one constant wholesome episode of Saved By The Bell, complete with laugh track and loud, collective _Oooo's_ each time you kiss each other?''

''No. I can't count how many times we've broken up, but I do remember the last time.''

He looked up and squinted, as if trying to place the memory. ''Was it The Great Break-Up of '03? I vaguely recall Hamilton spending the better part of senior year sitting outside a dorm window, looking all emo, clutching a notebook of Dashboard Confessional lyrics to his chest.''

''Yeah, that was the one,'' she said hesitantly, amused with the exaggerated description of a morose Hamilton. ''I had told him that I wanted him to see what life was like for a normal boy. A boy who didn't have a girlfriend who resorted to freakish charades or sarcastic quips every five minutes. He hated me at first and Bella totally disowned me for awhile because of how I left things with him. I think they both knew that even though I said the break was for him, it was really for me, about me. I wanted to see if there was life beyond Hamilton.''

''Was there?''

''Yeah, of course. Life isn't a movie, or a book. People _can_ live without each other, and we did for a few years. We both had to learn to be single, we both had to learn what it was like to be with other people. I remember I went out with this guy, Daniel, for awhile. He was smart, witty, totally cute.''

''How'd that work out?'' he asked, curiosity peeking through.

''We got married, had three kids. He doesn't even know I'm having an affair with Hamilton this weekend,'' she said sarcastically. ''What do you think happened? I ended up here. What I had with Daniel, what I had with the very few other guys I dated...well, it was all easy. Too easy. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with easy, but easy isn't exactly my bag.''

''You don't say,'' he teased.

''When I'd pull away they'd pull away too because to some degree they were a lot like me. But Hamilton, Hamilton is nothing like me. When I pull away with him, he gives chase and that's what makes him so amazing. When he looks at the world through his camera he sees it for what it could be rather than what it is and he never lets me run away from it.''

''That,'' Jake continued, ''and he's just insanely beautiful. But...long story short, the time apart, it was probably the best thing we've ever done for each other. Or the relationship.''

''Yes, there's nothing like dating other people to reaffirm your love for your significant other,'' he smarted.

''You laugh, but it's true. True for anyone. If what you walk away from is worth walking back to... you will. I did. It's never to late to walk back. It doesn't always have to be over.''

''I hear you.'' He received her words and the encouragement behind them, quite aware that she was, in her own way, trying to tell him something. ''You know, underneath all those little biting remarks you're a sweet girl, Jake.''

''Yeah, well,'' she played his comment off with a shrug, ''so are you, Calhoun.''

''I'm going to overlook the fact that you basically called me a girl and just smile.''

Their exchange was interrupted when Bella and Sean, and then Hamilton and Will, arrived at the area, exited their vehicles and hollered at them to hurry on over across the street. Scout and Jake abandoned their conversation to move her bike to the side of the station nearest the street. They then jogged their way to the others who were now busy mulling about the entrance of Friendly's.

''It's only five o'clock in the afternoon. Why's the diner closed?'' Hamilton asked, motioning to the sign in the window.

''It's Sunday. I forgot. Nearly everything closes early on Sundays,'' Will said, scratching the back of his head.

''Anyone have any other ideas?'' Scout asked, looking to the others.

''Fannies!'' Will suggested loudly and a little too eagerly.

Jake smiled crudely. ''Repeat that for me again, Will.''

The group began to talk over one another, spouting off various other suggestions. So caught up in their exchange they didn't notice Sean and Bella fiddling with the lock on the front door of the diner before they somehow managed to open it.

''The owner is a friend of the family,'' Sean explained, flicking on a few light switches as he started walking backwards into the building.

''He gave Sean and I a set of keys for emergencies,'' added Bella, ''but I don't see a problem if we have a bite to eat as long as we clean up after ourselves and leave money on the counter before we go.''

Soon the others entered. No one seemed all that surprised to find that the decor, the atmosphere, the small, quaint details of the diner had all remained unchanged since each of their respective visits. After they took in their surroundings they scattered about, shuffling around each other, trying to decide where to sit. Eventually, after a few indecisive seconds, Sean, Will, Jake and Hamilton came to sit at the counter.

They were all quite surprised when Scout popped up from behind the barrier wearing an apron. ''Take your order?'' he asked, less than pleased.

''What are you doing back there?'' Hamilton asked.

''Bella pulled me aside and told me that cooking was 'women's work' and something about how since I have the chest I might as well have the job too,'' Scout admitted, embarrassed. ''Now tell me what you want, I don't have all day.''

The group laughed at him, though Sean was the only one capable of halting his long enough to speak. ''Remember your manners, Skippy, or you can forget about your gratitude.'' He gestured to the others still grinning at Scout's discomfort. ''Just go fetch us four hamburgers and four orders of fries, will ya?''

Scout smiled despite himself and with a roll of his eyes toddled off through the door and back into the kitchen where Bella had just finished washing her hands and was already pulling items from the freezer and readying the cooking equipment.

''They didn't want anything special. Burgers and fries all around,'' Scout informed her.

''Shouldn't take us that long then,'' she said, reaching for them and placing several meat patties down on the grill. ''I hope you don't mind helping me in here, but I figured this might be our last chance to finish the conversation we've been trying to have for the past couple of days.''

''I don't mind at all,'' he said, pretending to be preoccupied with a vat of grease nearby, yet he couldn't help but glance over at her, her frame, her features.

Despite the setting, despite the lack of make-up and the mess she was making of herself as she started preparing the food he couldn't help but notice. She was still beautiful, still bright, warm. Still every bit as breathtaking as she had been when he had known her. But now, there was something else, just under the surface. Something older, wiser. In the years that had passed she had somehow become more than a girl, more than a 'townie'. She was someone's wife, someone's mother. She was someone else entirely. Someone he felt a certain kind of affection for, no doubt, but someone which he didn't quite know anymore.

As he continued to stare at her images from the past played inside of his head: a bike ride through New Rawley, a dance in a dingy garage, a swim in the lake. What once seemed so epic, so consuming now failed to move him. What he had given her those first few days would always be hers to keep, but he now saw it for what it was. A teenage romance. Intensely felt, but ultimately fleeting.

No doubt about it, there would always be a part of him that would love her, love her in a way you can only love your first love. But instead of his heart being pulled down that old, painful path, he found a resolve taking place within him. Whatever awkwardness that had been present before was washed away. What never was and what would never be was behind them and the realization had left him with a bittersweet kind of relief.

''Do you remember that summer?'' he asked, taking a step back and seating himself on a small plastic crate on the ground.

''Which one? We shared a few before you left.''

''The first one,'' he said to her back.

''Of course I do,'' she admitted sheepishly. ''I might not have shown it as much, but it meant just as much to me as it did to you.''

''God,'' he said, as his bout of deja vu intensified. ''All I can remember is how I felt. I don't know why I wanted you, just that I did. I don't know why it was so hard for me to let go, just that it was. It all seemed so huge and right, and for the longest time those memories of you pressed at my mind. I thought I'd always have to live with them at the back of my head. But here, now, I look at you and...''

''And?'' she asked, taking a gulp of air, uncertain.

''And now it just seems so far away,'' he said, amazed. ''And that's a good thing.''

''I never meant to be careless. I never meant to be that girl,'' she said earnestly as she turned around to look him in the eye. ''But I was, and for what it's worth...I'm sorry for anything I ever did that hurt you.''

''There's nothing to be sorry about, Bella,'' he reassured. ''Let's face it, I had a hand in my torture. I could've tried to get over the entire situation, but I didn't want to. I was young and completely convinced you were my fate. Nothing you could've done would've changed that then.''

''What did, though?'' she asked. ''I mean I'm glad you're okay, with me, with Sean, with how things turned out. I always thought I ruined your life somehow so to finally hear that you're well...it means the world to me, Scout. It really does. I'm just wondering how you came to that point when we've barely spent any time together this weekend.''

''Yesterday...yesterday when you said Grace left town, at first I just assumed you meant she went to an out of state college or ran off and had a shotgun wedding or something. But then I remembered the weird silences and awkward stares I got that first night when I made that stupid joke. I figured that when she left, it probably wasn't just you and Charlie she was leaving behind.''

She swallowed. ''I was hoping this wouldn't even come up because...''

''Because why?'' he asked gently.

''The same reason you didn't want to tell me that you ended your engagement. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me. Maybe Will needs his hand held at every point in life, but I don't. I didn't want you to think I was broken. That I needed saving. I hate telling people that story because that's what they assume. Poor townie girl got stuck with her sister's kid. That's what it looks like, but it isn't what it is. I'm okay. It isn't exactly what I had planned...but I love this life and everything it's turned out to be. Not that you would, but I just didn't want you to feel...some obligation to me, to the Bella you knew when we were kids.''

''I did... for a split second I did,'' he confessed. ''There was a tiny part of me that felt like I could've somehow in some way fixed things. I know important people. I have resources. I told myself, if only I knew I could've been here, helping you deal. But then there was this other part of me, this bigger part of me that realized that you've managed to somehow rebuild your life, your family, unconventional as it is, by yourself. You're not the kind of person that settles and if this wasn't the life you wanted, you wouldn't be living it the way you are. And when I realized that you've been okay without me all this time...I realized I was too, without you.''

She blinked back tears and Scout began to worry. He was so overwhelmed by his sense of relief that he was glad to share it with her, but he hadn't meant to upset her, hadn't meant to drag up memories of her missing sister and the emptiness it must've left within her.

She took a gulp of air, trying to gather herself, ''you're not the same person anymore, Scout...._and that's a good thing_.''

Relieved that her emotions weren't brought on by pain all he could do was smile back. He tried searching for an out, though, some kind of silent assurance to her that a conversation about Grace and the life her sister left behind could wait for another time, another day, another occasion. That it wasn't necessary for her to explain everything to him there. Not as everyone stood in the next room, not as they stood in a kitchen. It wasn't the time and maybe it would never be, but he could live with that. He had came back to this town expecting the worst, but he was surprised to find how he regretted letting go of certain friendships, and hers...hers was one of them.

And unsure of what to say or how to say it, he simply stood and quietly informed her ''I figured it out, by the way.''

''Huh?''

''That song you quoted in our lyric game. 'Duck and Cover', Glen Phillips. That Toad the Wet Sprocket guy.''

Bella wiped the side of her face and breathed a little more easily. Realizing what he was doing and that it was for her benefit she somehow mustered up a smile ''I'd be impressed if that didn't take you two whole days to figure out.''

''Yeah, well,'' he said, taking the spatula from her hand and poking at a patty on the grill, doing his best to move the conversation back to something more lighthearted, wanting to spare her any more tears. ''I've gotten rusty at this game since we last played.''


	7. Chapter 7

They had all settled themselves into a booth and while the two couples occupied the bench seats the two single men sat on spare chairs placed at the end of the table. Having previously made their way through servings of burgers and fries(courtesy of Scout and Bella) they were now just finishing up their desert which consisted of several ice cream sundaes. The others fed themselves as Sean and Jake, sitting across from one another, engaged in a full fledged debate.

''And I'm saying,'' Jake said firmly, ''that 'Weird Science' can't be considered a Brat Pack film even though it was a John Hughes movie.''

''You're totally wrong, but okay.'' Sean shrugged and pushed his bowl of ice cream away with a self-satisfied grin.

''Wasn't 'Stand By Me' by John Hughes?'' Scout asked.

''No, it was based on a short story by Stephen King,'' Will said helpfully.

''What about 'The Breakfast Club'?'' asked Hamilton.

''Now that was John Hughes,'' Will confirmed. ''It is without a doubt the holy grail of teen angst. Every lame teen drama, book or movie borrows something of it. It is that engrained into pop culture.''

''Dude,'' said Sean, ''I so wanted to be Judd Nelson's Bender. Plus I always used to tell Will he reminded me of the nerdy Anthony Michael Hall character.''

''Hey,'' Will said, wounded by the comparison.

''The nerd was so cute,'' Jake said bashfully.

''Neo maxi zoom dweebie,'' remarked Scout.

''What?'' Hamilton asked out of confusion.

A tickled Bella declared, ''I can see Hamilton as Emilio Estevez' boy who can't think for himself, and Jake is so the Ally Sheedy character.''

''Oh god,'' hummed Hamilton, ''Ally Sheedy was so hot in that movie.''

''Bel, if I'm Ally Sheedy that just makes you Molly Ringwald so I don't know why you're laughing,'' said Jake.

''Molly Rindwald my ass,'' the other woman said playfully.

''Yeah, yeah, yeah,'' Sean shushed everyone. ''We've established that in the weird Breakfast Club parallel universe I'm the hothead, Bella's the popular girl, Jake's so obviously the freaky girl, Ham's the not-so-bright boy, and Will's the nerd. That cancels out all of the kids. So who are you, Scout?''

''Obviously, I'm the bad ass school principal in charge of all you little punks,'' Scout scoffed with mock bravado. '' _'You kids mess with the bull, you get the horns'_.''

Cold fries flew at his face and into his lap as a result of his comment, but Scout merely brushed them off with nonchalance. ''I'm disappointed in you children. Really, I am,'' he huffed.

Everyone's mirth waned after a few moments and Hamilton noted the empty plates and bowls on the table with a hint of disappointment. ''Well...I guess everyone's done here, huh?''

''Not yet!'' Will exclaimed. He jumped up and began clearing their table of dishes and slowly began to walk backwards, toward the counter. ''Don't anyone leave yet. Give me five minutes. I'll be back.''

The others raised their eyebrows, but shrugged off their friend, who returned shortly carrying a tray displaying six cold glasses of Coke. ''I thought we should have a little farewell drink and since Friendly's doesn't serve alcohol, this'll have to make do,'' explained Will.

Jake groaned, ''Dude, can you be anymore lame?''

''Quite possibly yes. My lameness knows no bounds,'' said Will, seating himself and carefully placing a drink in front of each of them on the newly cleaned tabletop. ''Just take one and hear me out, okay.''

Jake peered down into her soda. ''I haven't had a Coke in ages.''

''Yeah,'' said Hamilton. ''Jake and I run at least three times a week, and water is much more efficient at keeping your body hydrated.''

Scout concurred and added, ''I once read an article that explained what acidic drinks really do to your teeth. It had pictures and everything. After that I never touched them.''

''Bella got me off of soft drinks,'' Sean said. ''She's on this whole kick about trying to set a healthy example for Matthew.''

''I can't count how many times I came in here and ordered a Coke back in the day,'' Bella piped up. ''I loved 'em, but do you have any idea what this stuff is made of?''

Will stared slack-jawed at his companions. ''Let me get this straight here. You're all seriously telling me that you're _too old_ to drink a glass of Coke?''

The group scoffed, insisting it had nothing to do with age as they talked over each other. Once again they went about stating their reasons for abstaining from the refreshing yet sugary beverage.

''Well, you can all go back to being adults tomorrow morning,'' Will hollered over them. ''But for now, humor me and drink your sodas, please. I want to make a little toast.''

The others moaned collectively at the thought of being subjected to one of Will's miserable speeches.

''This is important, guys.'' He waved a hand, shushing them as he continued, ''Because there are times in your life where you feel everything, every detail, every moment so crisply, so clearly. You don't realize it then, but one day you'll look back and see that it was your finest season. Now maybe each of you have your own special winter, or spring that you recall with affection. For me, though, the one I go back to the most is my first summer at Rawley. You were all there. You were all a part of that time in some way. I guess that's why it means so much to me that you all showed up this weekend.''

''I came up here with certain expectations. I needed to hear that I was on the right track, that my book was amazing and that any day now some publishing company was going to come knock on my door and I'd magically turn into some superstar literary writer. I didn't exactly get the feedback I was hoping for but I set myself up for that though and that's all on me. See, Finn used to tell people to exceed their expectations and for a long time I made that my motto. But now I'm starting to think that we shouldn't spend our lives thinking about who we should have, what we should have and when we should have it. Maybe we shouldn't set out to just exceed our expectations, maybe we should _let go of them entirely_.''

Will and his dramatic rolls were always tiring, but the others remained quiet, letting him indulge in one, final moment of nostalgia.

''Because maybe the minute you let go, you find what it is you were looking for all along. And I don't know about you guys but I'm more scared at twenty-five than I ever was at fifteen. But it's that good scared. The kind that reminds you that you're alive. The kind that reminds you that what you're capable of, what we're all capable of, is anything. So tonight we're all going back to the real world, but right now I just want to drink to,'' Will paused briefly, searching for just the right word, ''...our last night.''

Will raised his glass slightly, silently instructing the others to do the same. And they did, after several annoyed sighs and eye rolls. They let him have his moment, clinking their glasses together, against his own.

''How long have you been waiting to make that speech?'' Sean asked slyly.

''Three hours,'' Will answered sheepishly.

''That said I'm kinda glad that I got kicked out of Rawley when I did,'' Jake said smugly. ''I don't think I could've dealt with three years of Will's random touchy-feely speeches.''

They carried on for awhile there, laughing over nothing and everything. One after the other they recalled moments, stories, bits of the particular they remembered from the past. They retold them with amusement at how every fifteen year old at some point looks at the world believing themselves to be the only one under the sun to have ever been enthused by infatuation or crushed by heartache, the only one to feel the burn of jealousy or frustrated with the hand life had provided them. Their past was unremarkable in that it was the story of every teenager, regardless of setting and time, and yet that itself was what made it remarkable. That somewhere out there, there was another cluster of people, meeting each other, falling for each other, butting heads with each other and simply trying to make sense of one another.

It was there at the table that they realized that the magic of youth had faded. Adulthood, with it's own strangeness and discoveries, was waiting for each of them as Sunday drew to a close, as Monday became near. Eventually after a few more tales they put a halt to it all and cleared up. Once finished the group filtered out of the diner and back onto main street. They stood about in small clusters, chattering to one another as they prepared themselves for the inevitable procession of goodbyes.

''I hate to be the first one to say it, but we better go,'' Jake announced to the group with a sigh and looked to Hamilton, who dipped his head in agreement.

''Yeah,'' Hamilton added, ''Jake and I have some stuff we need to get to back home otherwise we'd hang out for a little while longer.''

The others nodded in understanding, and as Bella pulled Jake into a hug Hamilton took turns saying goodbye to the men, bumping fists and mumbling 'laters'. Finally after a few moments, a few more exchanges between the men and Jake, they began walking backwards across the street, giving the group one last wave and smile before turning completely and making their way to the gas station where the motorcycle sat off to the side.

''Come on, princess, let's go home,'' Jake said, bumping into his shoulder.

''Wait a second, so I'm 'princess' again?'' he asked as they reached the sidewalk.

''I thought you didn't like queen.''

''I don't, but like you said, it's a higher ranking. You can't just strip me of my new title without warning.''

''Princess is cranky now, I see. I'll have to put you down for a nap when we get home,'' she said once they arrived at the vehicle.

He laughed, relishing the sight of her smile. He himself had been raised in a more structured, traditional household, and as a younger man he had often been put off by her fierce independence and left to struggle with the relationship and his place in it. Then again, he thought of his parents off somewhere in the middle of some therapy session, still trying to figure out how to function together. If structured and traditional hadn't guaranteed his own parents the perfect relationship then it wasn't likely to guarantee him one either. It was niave to believe that life and love were simple, neat, tidy, perfect, but that wasn't life, and that certainly wasn't Jake.

_Nothing about this girl would ever be easy_, and he realized how silly he had been to return to New Rawley thinking otherwise. He'd always known this and yet it was something he needed to be constantly reminded of; she was different. In a way he didn't mind the reminding, the push/pull of their relationship. Neither did he mind the occasional squabbles. In fact he actually thought them to be useful. The fact that she cared enough about what they had to even bother with a fight always warmed him because it meant she still cared. It meant that she still felt for him what he felt for her.

He had came to the conclusion that Will was right, patience and passion went hand in hand. And at the end of the day she was still going home with him. That alone was enough for him. She, alone, would always be enough for him.

''So,'' he started. ''I know you think I've been stalling today, and maybe to some degree I have been. I've just been trying to figure something out for myself and I have now. And when we get back home I don't want it to be about you owing me anything or me owing you anything so I'm thinking I should get this out of the way right now. 'Kay?''

''This as in...?''

''You, me, the ring. I don't expect you to have figured out where you stand in a day, but I've figured out where I am on it now.''

Her expression dimmed as if she were preparing to hear some ultimatum of sorts. ''Shoot,'' she said, sitting sideways on the seat of her bike as he stood before her.

''If your answer is 'no', Jake, if 'no' is what I have to live with for the rest of my life...I can deal. I mean, I'd be disappointed because it's something I want with you, but I'd find a way to be okay with it. I'd have to be because more than any of my expectations, more than any ceremony, more than anything, what I want, all I want, is you. You. In whatever way you'll give yourself to me.''

''Really?'' she asked, looking relieved, stunned.

''Really. And anyway, if I couldn't accept you saying 'no', then I'm really not worthy enough to say 'yes' to. I don't want to be that guy. I'm not that guy.''

She exhaled, pleased to hear his words. "In that case, I need to-''

''I don't need an answer anymore,'' he explained sincerely. ''Because I know what it is and I told you, I'm _okay with no_. I'm not saying that because of the shower or to rack up brownie points. I'm saying that because by the end of this,'' he gestured to their surroundings, the pavement, the sidewalk, the station, Rawley, ''we're going home together and if that's all this weekend amounts to...well, that's not exactly the most horrible thing in the world. I see that now.''

''And I'm totally glad you see it, too,'' she jumped in, ''but I pretty much blanked out during Will's speech and I did some thinking of my own.''

''Oh?''

''Yeah, see... this whole weekend, the reason I reacted the way I did was because we're not everyone else. We'll never be everyone else. That's why I love what we have. I'll never promise you that every day with me will be perfect or whimsical, and I certainly can't ever promise to never have another freak out again, but what I can be sure of is every morning when you turn over I'll be on the other side of our bed. That's all I know. I don't need you to be my boyfriend or fiancé or husband. Because you're so much more than a word, Hamilton. You've always been more. And at the end of the day what do they even mean? Right?''

''Right.'' He bit the inside of his bottom lip and nodded down at the pavement, preparing himself for disappointment. While he had come to terms with 'no', he really wasn't at all eager to hear it from her lips. He had hoped to cut her off before she went there, to spare himself the embarrassment, but here she was drawing out the process and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why.

''But then, then I look at you,'' she continued, all the while shaking her head, ''I look at you looking at me and all that goes out of the window and I start to think...that ring, it can mean anything we want it to mean.''

He squinted, unsure. ''You know, Jake, it's been a long weekend. You're gonna have to spell this out for me.''

''I could stay absolutely still with you for the rest of my life and be happy. If nothing ever changed, our life would still be pretty amazing but, well...I guess what I'm trying to say is _where's the adventure in that_. I'm saying why not redefine the terms of this stuffy institution? Why not jump in and break with tradition? I'm saying... Will you marry me?''

Suddenly he understood how such a question could render one speechless and how dazed she must've felt when blindsided by it the previous day. Throughout the weekend she had somehow turned a simple straight forward question into some overly complicated situation that scared and frustrated the daylights out of him. And what did she turn around and do after? The complete unexpected.

He took a few steps away from her because he was pretty sure he might start coughing up his burger. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of the others still standing about on the sidewalk on the other side of the street in front of the diner, watching, mouths agape. When they realized they were spotted they quickly looked away and tried to busy themselves skidding sneakers against the pavement and whistling to the sky above their head, trying to play clueless in the most obvious of ways, like they were cartoon characters.

''Wait...wait...'' Hamilton nervously said, trying to wrap his head around what was happening as he looked back to Jake. ''Back up like five-hundred feet. _What did you just ask me_?''

She shrugged. ''I asked you the question that I didn't really give you the chance to ask me. Maybe this isn't how you pictured it, but you said you didn't want to hear my answer just yet so...I'm asking you for yours. We've never fit inside the box so why should this moment be any different?''

''You don't make any kind of sense.''

''When have I ever?''

''You are the most complicated, contradictory person I have ever met,'' he exclaimed and waved a hand at his side, still in disbelief. ''So, what, all of this back and forth, running around, freaking out, all of that has come to this?''

She winced, as if trying to gauge his reaction. ''Yeah.''

''And after all that about needing time to process, I finally get to the point where I'm all about giving you time and just being okay with 'no' you go and do this. Why couldn't you have just said 'yes' and_ not _freaked out to begin with?''

''I don't know. Remember, freaking is kinda my thing.''

He stepped over towards her and the bike, placing his face inches from hers. So tempted to kiss her, shake her and run from her all at once. ''You are just so...God, I don't even know what you are.''

''I'm just me, Hamilton.''

And with that he moved in and kissed her as fiercely as he could; so far beyond caring about tradition or conventionality, about the setting and atmosphere because his other half was asking him to spend the rest of his days with her. _She was asking him._

Since purchasing the band he had tried to imagine the perfect setting, the perfect moment in which everything fell into place. He'd gone through countless elaborate scenarios in his mind, but in the grand scheme of things all he really cared about was her answer, her bond, her hand in his. It didn't really matter how they had gotten here, just that they were here. At this point. And she wouldn't have brought them to this point if it wasn't something she actually came to want for herself. That meant more to him than any conventional thing ever could.

''So what was that?'' she asked when, after what felt like ages, he withdrew.

''Well, that wasn't a no and it wasn't a yes,'' he said cryptically as he looked to the sky. ''I need time to think about it. I don't know about you, but I've been proposed to twice this weekend.''

''Wait, what?''

''Yeah, I don't know how to break this to you, but Calhoun offered me his hand in marriage yesterday.''

''I hope you're joking,'' she said, eyes widening in amusement.

''In an odd way, I'm not.''

''Well, in that case I have to kick his ass,'' she said sarcastically. ''I knew I saw him looking at you longingly that first night in the tent. I can't just allow him to step in on my boy like that. Rude is what it is,'' she concluded with faux seriousness. ''Now I understand how Sean must've felt back in the day when Scout had his sights on Bella.''

''You, Scout. This princess,'' he pointed to his smile, ''has options, Jake, and I feel like I should consider them both cautiously and-''

''Okay, I get it. You're giving me a taste of my own medicine. But I'll tell you what,'' she began to barter and placed her arms atop his shoulders, ''if you give me an answer, any answer, right now I promise to let you drive home.''

He ran a thumb across her cheek and then over her lips. As if his answer could be anything else. ''Jake,_ you know _what my answer is. Of course I'll marry you. I mean, I'll live in sin with you, I'll ride bitchpad for you, I'll jump off a cliff with you. As long as it's with you...I'm ready for whatever happens. That's my answer.''

''Wow,'' she said, looking slightly alarmed, but pleased nevertheless. ''Like...wow.''

He grinned like a fool and was thrilled to see her grinning right back at him. This was all he could've ever asked for and as easy as it would be to stand there in amazement for another hour, another day, he suddenly became preoccupied with a thought.

''And now that that's dealt with, can we please, _please_ go home now?'' he asked eagerly, leaning in to brush his nose against hers.

''You just want to get back on the road because you'll be riding front.''

''Well, yeah, but I also want to hurry home because,'' he paused, blushing and turning urgent. ''Well, to put it bluntly, I really, really like you, what are you doing this weekend and I need to know where this relationship is going like now-now.''

She raised an eyebrow at his coded remark. ''Ditto.''

He laid a few more brief playful kisses on her before gently pulling her hips forward and off the bike seat only to turn and place himself onto it.

''Come on,'' he patted the rear seat, gesturing for her to hop on.

She groaned playfully, ''You're really holding me to this? Even after I got up the nerve to man-up and ask you?''

''Hey, deal's a deal,'' he said slyly.

''Alright. Fine,'' she said with a sigh as she situated herself behind him. ''Let's go. Before you change your mind and leave me to run off and live happily ever after with Scout.''

''Don't tempt me,'' he teased.

---

Several yards away, across the street the others silently watched the dark haired couple drive off, back to their own strange little world.

''What was that?'' asked Will, who seemed to be the only one out of the loop.

Sean and Scout shrugged wordlessly leaving Bella to speak up, ''That was Lady and The Tramp living happily ever after.''

They didn't spend much time discussing the others. Instead they began saying their own goodbyes and as Sean and Will started their exchange, Bella embraced Scout, pulling him into a hug. This time there was no space, no hesitation.

He couldn't remember the last time he had held her in his arms, properly, that is. But as painful as it had been, as hollow as it had once left him, he didn't regret a single moment of their past. By having faced it he had also somehow released himself from it. He wondered, had he found his resolve, his relief, his peace with what would never during these last few days or had his heart been slowly and quietly repairing itself without his knowledge during the past several years. Either way he wasn't sure that it mattered anymore.

''Listen,'' he said softly, making sure the other men didn't hear, ''I'm sure you have Sean and Will and all the rest, but... if you ever need anyone to just talk to, if you ever need help with figuring out...''

''I know,'' she said, fully aware of what he was trying to get at, at what he was trying to offer her, a shoulder, a hand. ''Maybe some day.''

With a nod he left the matter at that, not wanting to cross a line. ''Other than that, though, if you ever want any advice on the garage, feel free to get ahold of me through Will. FYI - I'm _still _owed a free squeegee job.''

''One of these days you might want to think about swinging into town and cashing in on it.''

''Until then, I guess...'' he made a small gesture with his hand, flicking his wrist, not quite a wave.

''I'll see ya when I see ya.''

With a single nod and smile he replied, ''when I see you.''

They moved away from each other, stepping back to find Will and Sean, who had already finished their own little farewell. The blond couple gave the two single men one last wave before walking across the street, several yards over to the gas station where Charlie emerged with young Matthew in his arms. Bella quickly took the tot from him, eagerly placing a kiss to his cheek. She bounced him up and down a few times until she finally let him settle into her embrace as Sean watched on at her side. Her life, Scout saw, was so much more than just content. And more than anything, he believed his could be too.

''I take it someone got you back into the loop?'' Will asked there from the sidewalk.

''Yeah,'' Scout answered.

''And you're okay with that?''

Scout, still staring at the scene across the street from them, didn't answer, which prompted Will to leap into speech with, ''Like I said, there's a reason I didn't tell you about it and-''

''Hey,'' a completely unbothered Scout halted him with a wave of his hand, ''no worry. Remember what I said Friday? That hearing that she's moved on and seeing that she's moved on are two different things.''

''Yeah.''

''Well, they are. They're two very different things. Obviously hearing that she had moved on hadn't done me any good... seeing that she's moved on, though, is something I needed to do. Now I've done it. I'm okay with what I found. What about yourself?''

''What about myself?''

''Well, like you said, you came here with a set of expectations. You were expecting this grand, epic show of support for your book, but-''

''-but that isn't how life works,'' Will interjected,'' and that's okay. Maybe success will come when I stop being so desperate for it.''

With that Will led him away from the curb and over to his vehicle. Soon Scout was settled in behind the steering wheel while the other man buckled up in the passenger's seat.

''Also,'' Scout began sheepishly, ''I know I made a big stink and gave you a lot of grief early on about being dragged out here this weekend, but...thanks. I needed a little break from my life.''

''Maybe we all did,'' Will said reflectively. ''Life is more like a novel than you think. Before a certain story concludes, you have to run into some characters again and wrap up some loose ends. You know?''

''That I do.''

Scout started the car and within a few minutes he was driving them both down main street. He watched the town slowly fade in his rearview mirror and then returned his gaze to the road before him, at the life ahead. And all he saw was possibility.


	8. Chapter 8

**Monday**

Scout had been nursing a coffee for the past fifteen minutes as he stood in a corner of the used bookshop. The one Will had introduced him to. Of course, this time around Will wasn't at his side and for good reason. What he was about to do, he needed to do alone.

The weekend that had just come to an end had allowed him to discover a few things. Notably that he wished to re-establish a few old friendships, what kind of underwear Jake wore and what deer jerky tasted like, but the most imporant discovery of all was that his heart was no longer after Bella's; that his life was waiting for him to realize the fact. And after the previous evening's long drive back home, he had woken up this morning to feel more clear-eyed than he had ever been. Despite this he had decided to take a personal day from work in order to recoup and if nothing else, clear his head.

It didn't take him long to sort out the various thoughts and come to the conclusion that he was now prepared, determined, to explore all that life had to offer. His first step to getting himself in order would have to be confronting the one he had left behind, his ex, Beth, who was currently positioned behind a counter, sitting on a stool with her nose in a book several yards away from him. She hadn't even spotted him, although that was mostly because he was behind the large display of new arrivals near the entrance.

He had actually been hoping that the floor would be packed and he'd be forced to wait another day to have the conversation. But seeing as how it was a weekday morning and most people were at school or work the shop was quite empty. He had no reason, no excuse to walk away and yet he contemplated leaving, dismissing the idea of even trying to talk to her again, after all he had put her through by walking away who was to say she'd even be open to letting him walk back into her life long enough to hear him out.

He was half certain she'd want nothing to do with him, but he owed it to himself to at least try so he summoned up as much bravery as he could, grabbed a nearby book and made his way over. He rang the bell on the counter and she immediately looked up and did a double take. She gave him a very cautious, uncertain ''hi''. Obviously she was thrown as to why he was there. He was just as unsure, but strangely he found his voice regardless.

''Uh, I was wondering if you could help me,'' he started, holding up the small novel in his hands. ''See, I've just finished reading The Babysitter's Club series which I thoroughly enjoyed and I was hoping you could tell me what you knew about this other book series here.''

She blinked as if still trying to process. Eventually, after a quick shake of the head, she glanced down at the title. ''The Sweet Valley High series?'' she asked.

''I'm a huge fan of the TV adaptation,'' he gushed playfully, ''and I've heard brilliant things about the books.''

And then he saw it, that small, mousy smile of hers that always made him melt.

Suddenly he realized that his heart was an empty room. No baggage, no ghosts, nothing left to hinder or haunt him. Standing there and grinning back at her he didn't know if she was the one, if this was _it _for him, if this was that perfect happily ever after he had been in search of for as long as he could remember. This time, though, he was certain he was strong enough to stay the path long enough to find out one way or another and that's what made it freeing. There was no certainty. All he had, all anyone had, was possibility and he couldn't wait to see what became of it.

----------------------------

Bella, meanwhile, sat at the small picnic table outside of her station having lunch with Sean and young Matthew seated at her side. The tyke was in his own little world as he snacked on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which she had prepared for him (he had promptly spit out the lobster rolls Sean had picked up for the three of them to share) and she and Sean were nonchalantly having a conversation above his head.

Sean was on about wanting to paint the inside of the station soon before the school year started, before the long-line of Rawley's new arrivals came. His distaste for the privileged had waned through the years as had, Bella figured, his silent hostility to Scout, which had barely been an issue throughout the last few days. It seemed to her that time and age had calmed him. In a way she was surprised. In a way she wasn't.

He had told her his goal for the weekend had been to prove to himself that he was more than he was ten years ago. Judging by the lightness of his attitude, the ease of his laughter, he apparently had done just that; shown himself to be less of a brute and more of a man. He was even calm enough to ask her if she had found the time to have a conversation with Scout in order to settle the dust between them.

''Sort of. In our own way, yeah,'' she said with a sense of elation. ''We said what we needed to say, heard what we needed to hear.''

''I'm glad,'' he said, and for the first time she actually believed he meant it, completely.

''Me too, but to be honest I'm glad the weekend's over. Between Will's meltdown and Jake and Hamilton's duel tantrum, it's nice to get some peace.''

''I'm just bummed we didn't get to play a game of football. You, me, Will against Jake, Hamilton and Scout. Townies versus The City Folk.''

''Oh, we so would've taken them down,'' she said smugly, her eyes lighting up by the possibility.

They grinned at each other happily from across the table. This life, she knew, wasn't big or complex, adventurous or wild. It was quiet, and it was _theirs_ and that was all that she really required for herself. She still had occasional thoughts of the world outside of her small town, but she had great confidence that she and her young family would get to explore it when they so chose to. One day, when they outgrew New Rawley, she was certain they would, but as for the present there was no itch to escape. She was more than happy to just enjoy her quiet life.

''Hey,'' Matthew interrupted the moment when he tapped Bella's forearm, getting her attention, ''Guess what?''

Bella turned to him with a smile. ''What?''

''Elephant,'' the child whispered confidently, as if it made any kind of sense.

''This kid is brilliant, I'm telling you,'' said Sean. ''High-five?'' he then reached out and offered his hand to the boy, who slapped it.

The two then chuckled heartily at the ''joke'' which she wasn't about to try to decipher.

''Right,'' she humored them. ''Tell you what, while you two comic geniuses work on your routine I'm going in to get a refill. Anybody need anything else?''

''Ketchup,'' said Matthew brightly, eagerly, raising his hand as if he were in a classroom.

''You're eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,'' Bella gently reminded him.

''Yeah, and I need ketchup for it,'' the boy added.

''The boy needs ketchup,'' Sean added slyly, backing up the request.

They outnumbered her on this one and she wasn't going to fight them on it. She eyed them both and without a word stepped away from them and their table. As her two boys continued on talking excitedly about nonsensical things she gathered her cup and made for the station door. Once inside the building she was greeted by one of her attendants.

''Just coming in for a drink...and ketchup,'' she explained. ''How's everything in here?''

''Fine,'' the attendant answered. ''Your dad's in the back office. Got a couple of calls; we'll have some drop offs tomorrow, a tune up and an oil change. Plus, mail came early today, by the way.''

The young man then made for a drawer and pulled out a few envelopes which he handed off to her. ''You were busy so I waited,'' he said. ''Hope that's okay.''

She nodded and set aside the cup to sift through that day's delivery. A few bills, a few checks, all in all she thought nothing out of the ordinary until she saw her sister's name at the top left side of one of the letters. She turned her back to her employee and quickly tore into it.

She swallowed; it'd been so long since she'd seen that handwriting, those specific flourishes and formations belonging to Grace. There was no greeting at the beginning of it, no pretense, no easing in. All there was, was an an awkwardly worded apology. An apology for leaving, for not being able to deal. Her sibling went on to explain how she hadn't known who she was then, and to a degree she still hadn't a clue but that she wanted them to know that she was well. More importantly, Grace had written, she hoped that they were well, happy, strong. One day she hoped to be those things, too. She promised that if that happened, when that happened, when she found those things in and of herself, she'd come back to deal with everything she had left behind. She said she wasn't sure when that would be, a year, or five, or ten; she wasn't sure and she couldn't promise, because all she was capable of was trying. That she promised Bella, and their father, and her son, to try.

The small note was brief and to the point and Bella read through it several more times, letting her sister's words sink in. When they did, and when that tiny ache in the back of her throat eased she folded the note until it fit into her palm. Searching herself, she didn't find anger or resentment or anything of the sort. All she found was a tiny piece of possibility that one day, someday, Grace would find what she needed and come back long enough to sort what needed sorting out, that soon she herself would be strong enough to take the address in hand actually reply to the letter. Unlike the one she had received from her mother all those years earlier, Bella didn't tear and toss it aside. Instead she decided to slip it into one of the small back pockets on her jeans.

There was after all nothing too special about getting hurt, she remembered. But getting over it, finding a way to heal and resolve? That was work. That was strength. That was, she liked to believe more than anything, brave.

Through the front window she caught a glimpse of her young family and smiled. Smiled because she knew that until that day came not only would they manage, not only would they cope, not only would they survive, they would flourish.

--------------------------

Elsewhere, back at his quaint apartment Will had just breezed through writing a fluff piece he was due to submit to a magazine the next day. He was content with what he had, enough to take a break and look for a distraction as he sat at his writing desk.

He had rang up Scout to see if he had gone into work and when he learned he hadn't Will instantly suggested they meet for coffee, but the other man had asked for a rain-check. Obviously Scout wanted to sort out his own findings from their weekend and Will didn't blame him. After their call ended he then went on to ring Hamilton's cell phone. Of course it went straight to voicemail.

''Hey, it's Will just checking in,'' he said after the automated voice told him to leave his message. ''Hope you and Jake got home safe. When you get a chance email me the pictures you took during the trip. Scout said he wants them too. I talked to him this morning, said to tell you guys he was serious about 'that sleeping bag'. I don't know what that means, but give me a holler later anyway, both of you. Bye.''

He drummed one set of fingers on the arm of his chair while he ran the other set along the keypad of his cell phone, so tempted to dial up Bella, Sean, or any of the others in his contacts list, hoping to find distraction in their world, with their stories, their lives. Anything to take his mind off of the silly magazine articles and vacation brochures he made a living writing, anything to make him forget his failures as a serious writer, anything to take his mind off of the stack of rejection letters sitting nearby on his desk.

He had been obsessively saving the letters for the past several months. Why? He wasn't sure. He supposed that he, more than anyone, took some pleasure in torturing himself. It was really all he knew and a part of him didn't want to give it up. Old habits die hard, he mused. But with a sigh he set his phone aside, powered down his notebook and started out of the room only to return with a trash can, which he promptly dropped the pile of papers into, the papers he had been endlessly taunting himself with. As tempting as it was to sit back down behind his desk in front of his computer with his thesaurus in hand, he knew that all of his hard work, getting through Rawley, then college and into the real world, would count for absolutely nothing if he didn't make the most of his life now. He had so much desire to write about his life, but in order to do that he had to learn how to have one because a boring protagonist was simply no kind of protagonist at all.

It was time to give up the ground beneath his feet, he decided. He wasn't sure how, when or where to begin but he grabbed his keys, determined to create, to embrace an adventure, a story independent of any other, one he could call his own. Success _would_ come to him when he stopped being desperate for it. With that thought he walked out of his front door and for the first time in his life had not a single expectation.

---------------------------

''Engaged sex,'' Hamilton declared to Jake with equal parts amazement and wistfulness, ''is so hot.''

''Your ears are moving,'' she noted.

They had arrived home the previous night more than a little high over what had occured just before they left New Rawley behind. Since entering their apartment they had been, in their own way, making up for their three days of abstinence. They eventually spent themselves so that they decided to take a break from certain activities and venture out to their kitchen for a couple of bowls of cereal. For the past half hour they had been sitting, he in his boxers, she in a wifebeater and panties, at their small kitchen table where Hamilton felt the need to wax on about this brand new discovery.

''I'm certainly not complaining about anything,'' she started.

''Thank you.''

''-but how is it any different from all the other times we've been together?'' she asked, briefly halting her crunching.

''It just is,'' he said after sipping the last of his milk. ''You couldn't tell? I could tell. Engaged sex is different than Just Living Together sex like Just Living Together sex is different than our Just Dating sex.''

''Boys are weird,'' she concluded. ''I might've pretended to be one for a few months, but I will never understand the way your kind think. You've actually sat down and figured out classifications?''

''Dude, what do you think Married sex will be like?'' he asked, and then answered his own question, ''Probably awesome.''

She took another spoonful of Fruit Loops and with a straight face cracked, ''It better be or I'm backing out of this thing, that's all I know.''

''Hey,'' he said, mocking hurt and stuffing his right hand into the cereal box nearby, ''Just for that remark there...I'm keeping the free toy.''

She shrugged and in a smug tone began, ''Once we get married half of that...what is that?''

''Spinning top -slash- flashing pen with Dora the Explorer on the front if it.''

''Yeah, well, half of that will be mine soon enough,'' she winked.

''Do you really mean it though?''

''If the spinning top is _that_ important to you, you know it's all yours,'' she teased.

''You know what I mean...what you asked me yesterday, do you really mean it?'' he asked quietly, seriously, testing the waters. ''Do you really want what I want?''

She paused to give it thought but before she could provide an answer he started again with, ''Because you, you asking me, that's the craziest thing you've ever done, Jake.'' He looked both amazed and confused.

''You do know that's what you're getting into, right? A lifetime supply of crazy.''

''This is worth it,'' he said whole heartedly, happily. ''As far as I'm concerned the entire weekend, the stuffy tent, the bruised ankle,things going not how I imagined, all of that was worth it if this is where we end up. Even if you changed your mind right now...just the fact that we're sitting here together... worth it.''

''I haven't, you know.''

''Haven't what?''

''Changed my mind.''

They smiled at each other from across the table, silently communicating something as their brows raised. They had much to do. Things to talk over and sort. Jobs to get back to, parents to call, people to inform about the development, Felicity DVDs to buy, sleeping bags to replace. But all those things could wait for the time being.

''So...bed?'' he asked.

''Bed,'' she answered.

And in the next second he was out of his seat, walking backwards out of the kitchen and through their apartment, heading off yet again to their bedroom, quite prepared to resume their...activities. She simply rolled her eyes at his puppy dog like excitement. Amused and thrilled by it she caught up with him and together they plopped back onto their mattress, where they playfully moved about for awhile. This time, though, she was quite happy to lie back and let him lay atop her. He gently placed his arms on either side of her head and let one of his hands wander into her hair which sent a slight shiver up her spine, as it always did.

When she thought about it she wasn't sure she had a reason for changing her mind, for coming around to the idea. And anyway when the hand that had previously been in her hair slowly moved down to warm her hip, lack of reason was the last thing on her mind. As far as she was concerned she didn't need reason. Neither did she need to know what was to come next. Because boldness, she realized, was more than wild feats or elaborate charades. Boldness was being open to anything and everything, in or out of the box. Boldness was, as he had often noted to her, about throwing caution to the wind. And she decided to do just that once again in order to say something she had no doubt about but was always a little bashful about voicing.

''I love you,'' she said beneath him and reached up to run a hand over his shaggy hair.

His ears moved yet again as he smiled wide, elated to hear those words, pleased that she said them without being prompted to.

''I know,'' he said, and then yelped when she jabbed him lightly in the side. ''I mean, I love you too.''

This time her heart really did flutter at his words. Especially when she noticed that his eyes still looked just as impossibly blue and playful as the day she had met him. That never failed to blow her away; how he managed to still look at her as he had at fifteen with that same optimism, that same wonder. Maybe it was because deep down he was still very much the same boy he was then, bursting with enthusiasm, eager for adventure. There was nobody she would rather spend the rest of her days making up with, adversely there was nobody she'd rather spend the rest of her days fighting with, either.

Obviously spurred on by her bashful admission of affection he leaned down to kiss her and she gladly kissed back just as ardently. Staying still with him had provided it's own comforts, which was why she was reluctant to give that stillness up, but he had laid out and given up his own expectations for her like no other person had before. His willingness to do such a thing made her realize if there was anyone she'd ever promise herself to, it was him. Maybe that was reason enough to leap.

Still engaged in a kiss they slowly crawled backwards, further onto the bed and beneath the covers as their hands travelled over each other and wiggled themselves free of clothing. When she slowly withdrew her mouth from his she made the point of keeping eye contact with him and as he started moving above her in slow degrees she was certain _there was nothing here to run from_.

------------------------------------

**If any of you imaginary readers have made it this far, thanks. Hopefully it made you laugh at least once. Whether you liked it or hated it, drop me a line. I'd appreciate it. Especially if you hated it. I'd like to know what worked and what **_**didn't**_**. There are parts I really enjoyed and parts that I know could've been better.**

**A few people have suggested a sequel, though I'm not sure. It would have to take place outside of New Rawley and I almost feel like the characters won't be themselves outside of that town. Still, I already have the idea/scenes/theme, it's just a matter of piecing it all together. I'm more likely to get it done, though, if I know people want it. So if you do, poke at me. ;)**

**Later, kids**


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